Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip · Season 1, Episode 11
“The Christmas Show” · Season 1, Episode 11
In this episode: Danny Tripp (4), Jordan McDeere (3), Matt Albie (1), Jack Rudolph (1)
[In a doctor's waiting room, Danny to Jordan from a magazine titled Expectant.]
If you were over 35, then what we gotta do is stick a needle about half a foot into your stomach, and get some fluid from your pre-natal girth.
Why are you here?
Morale.
I really don't need help.
Not now, but you will soon, 'cause this says you gonna have to make a journey of 1200 miles to bury your eggs in the warm mud.
Danny....
Wait, that can't be you.
(snickering) No.
It's an Alaskan King Crab that does that.
[In the examining room, Danny snipes about the father of Jordan's baby.]
This is the time for a lecture?
No, that was about twelve weeks ago. By the way, did you and the last honest man on the planet get loaded on Jägermeister and forgot that there's like five hundred different kinds of birth control?
Have you told anyone?
Just my assistant, Kevin. That's it.
And... Mr. Tripp?
I had to tell him.
She wanted to.
I was semi-conscious. I had to make sure he wasn't gonna force a B-12 injection on me.
You've just described the beginning of every great love story.
[Matt plops down a tiny mounted pine on the writers' conference table.]
What are you, Linus?
Yes. Yes I am. I carry with me the true meaning of Christmas.
You carry with you a dead Christmas tree.
All Christmas trees are dead,they've been cut down.
I've been married twice before, and I'm a recovering cocaine addict, and I know that's no woman's dream of a man -- or of a father. Nonetheless, I believe I'm falling in love with you. If you wanna run I understand. But you better get a good head start, 'cause I'm coming for you, Jordan.
[A squirrel-cheeked Jordan stares at him, speechless.]
You should go ahead and chew that sandwich now.
You have to understand that pro-family groups support us in this time of war, just as long as they don't have to see of hear what fighting a war looks or sounds like.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
