StevenEnough! No more cat fingers! I want Steven fingers!....And I don't mean little me heads on fingers, I mean my REGULAR fingers! Uggghhh! [a spot on his head turns into a cat, then his arm turns into a cat] Wha! Aahhh! Stop! [his foot turns into a cat] Amethyst! [various parts of his body turn into cats] Pearl!...Garnet! [gasp] Dad!
[hoses the ground while singing along to his headphone music and hears a bang] Hello? Who's there? [cat-covered Steven crawls in] We're closed,come back tomorooaaaah!!! [sprays Steven with hose]
Steven
Dad!
Huh? [sees Steven's face among the cats] Steven?
Steven
Dad! [starts tearing up] Help!,The cat fingers are taking over my body!
Hold on, I'll get you out of there! [a cat bites him and throws him to the side]
Steven
Bad! Bad cat fingers! [he steps in a puddle and the cats makes him jump to the roof]
Can't you make them go away?
Steven
I tried, but it made it worse! My life is over! I can't go on magic adventures! I can't even open the fridge! And I'll never get to have another water fight with you dad! Because these things hate...water! They hate water! Dad, spray me again! [Greg sprays him and he jumps down, then, the cats run towards Greg]
Steven! [climbs onto dock and holds his hand] Okay, let me see it. W-? Y-you got them to go away? [Steven smiles] It just goes to show, always listen to me, and never listen to Amethyst.
It goes to show, you should have a little more faith in Steven. [Pearl blushes]
Steven
Yeah, that would have been a total "cat-tastrophe"!
APAmethyst and Pearl
[sarcastically] Hahahahaha...
Steven
But I'm feeling much better "meow"!
[The Gems groan]
Steven
What's the matter? Cat got your tongue?
Okay, that's enough. [The Gems leave in annonyance]
Steven
Wait, l've been comimg up with cat jokes all morning. You guys, l'm "feline" fine. Everything's "purr"- fect!
[Steven walks to the girl beside the cliff]
Steven
"Hi! My name is Steven." "Hi, my name is Stevan." "Hi... my name is... Stefan?"
[loud roaring is heard, the ground trembling; part of the Crystal Temple to break off. Steven gasps, runs over and jumps on top of her]
Steven
Hi, my name is Steven!!
[Steven's gem starts to glow and encases them both in a giant bubble; the falling debris shatters upon contact]
Steven
Whoa! How do I do that? [turns to her] Hi! My name... is Steven! [she adjusts her glasses]
GGirl
Connie. What... happened?
Steven
I'm magic. Well, half-magic, on my mom's side.
Steven
Apparently. I'm a member of the Crystal Gems. We fight monsters and protect humanity and stuff.
Oh! That's kinda like my dad. He's a cop. Well... more like a private security guard.
[they both take a long pause at each other]
So... How long does it usually last?
Steven
Oh! Right. [he strains his arms and himself, pats his gem]
Steven
It, uh... doesn't seem to wanna go away.
[Steven then pushes his side of the bubble, straining]
Steven
So, I don't see you around that often. [they start rolling forward]
My dad works for a bunch of different beaches, so... we're never in the same place long.
Steven
I go on adventures with the Gems sometimes. They usually say it's too dangerous for me, though. [strains on some rocks, falls down] Ugh!
Do you always go in a bubble?
Steven
No, this is new. I dunno what this is. But it's okay! The Gems will knew what to do!
[they reach the Beach House, rolling up the steep hill and back down]
Steven
Aw, what?! [pushes his side, straining] Hey! Guys! Garnet, help!!
[pause] I don't think they can hear you.
Steven
[facepalms] Aww, that's right! I told them not to watch.
We can just wait here until they come out.
Steven
No, no, no, it's okay! I've got other friends that can help.
Steven
Oh, sorry! Are you alright? [Connie stands up] It's not so bad. [looks up] Uhh... It-It's okay! I, uh—
It's not okay!! You keep saying that but you don't know what you're doing! Now we're going to suffocate or starve at the bottom of the ocean, and only my parents will notice because no one else cares about me!
Steven
Huh?
[crying] I'm gonna disappear without ever making a single friend...
[she sits down wallowing in tears. Steven presents the bracelet, illuminating a glowing brilliance to her]
Steven
We can be friends. [beat] I saw you at the boardwalk parade last year. You dropped your bracelet. I picked it up, but then I couldn't find you. I saved it in the freezer so it would last longer, in case I saw you again.
Oh! You were the kid on the car wash float. [chuckles] You had soap bubbles in your hair.
Steven
I was supposed to be a scrub brush. [both chuckle] I'm sorry, Connie. [puts bracelet on her arm] If I had returned your bracelet back then, you wouldn't be stuck in this bubble with me now.
No, it's okay! I'm having fun.
Looks like we're gonna have to split up.
Right. Steven and I will stay right here where it seems to be safe... while you guys go and solve the mystery of this place.
Steven
Wait! I wanna help solve the mystery!
Yeah! Come on, Steven! [picks him up] Let's solve the mystery.
Steven
Yeah! Mystery solvers! [Pearl takes Steven]
Nope. No, no, no, no, you two are a disaster waiting to happen.
Steven
Really? Awesome!
But remember — this is a serious mission.
Steven
[still being held by Pearl] Understood. Serious Steven... Pearl, can you put me down?
What? Oh, yes, of course. [lets him down]
Steven
I need to be standing or else it doesn't work. Serious Steven... activate!! [goes with Garnet]
But this could be the teacups all over again!
Steven
Hey! I've put that behind me.
We're back where we started.
Steven
Whaaat?! [Pearl comes in]
Garnet! There you are! The doors and rooms here make no sense! They all bring you back here! [Amethyst runs out of a door growling and screaming]
Get me outta here! [runs into another door]
There are sixteen doors and we entered from the northeast, and went through three consecutive rooms in a straight line... [Amethyst returns with a bear trap on her head]
Ow! Rrrrr-rah!! [throws bear trap, runs back where she came]
But arrived back here out the southernmost door, which can only mean... W-well, I don't know what it means! I— [cool mist blows out; Amethyst slides along inside a block of ice] This is a death trap!! [tries to break Amethyst free with her spear]
Steven
What... what do we do?!
We go back in... again, and again, and again, and again.
Steven
[gasp] I CAN'T!!
Steven
No! No, it's not! You were all right about me! I wanted to do this so bad, but now I feel like I'm gonna throw up. THIS IS JUST LIKE THE TEACUPS!!!
Oh, Steven, I-I didn't really mean that—
Steven
WAAAAIT!!! Ah!! Wait, you guys! What if this is just like the teacups? That's why we're getting so lost... That's why I'm feeling so sick! All the rooms are spinning us around so we end up here!
How could you possibly think punching a blood polyp was a good idea?! Look at all the gunk you got on me! And look at Steven! [brief pause; Steven is nowhere to be found]
YYin
He's gone! Gone, gone, GONE!
Steven
[rushes back to the gems] It's not so bad once you get use to it! Why? 'Cause you like dogs, princesses, whores, and [in a bossy attitude] To eat my shorts!
He certainly won't brotherfuckin' like it when it hardens!
Steven
Uh, what? Uh, I'm gonna go wash. [begins to walk away]
He shouldn't have been so close in the first place. [Steven hardens in place near fridge]
How was I supposed to know they pop? [Steven struggles]
Steven
Uh, guys...?
You're always putting us in danger with your little outbursts! [Amethyst ignoring her] Ugh, you are just... so childish!!
Yeah, yeah. Don't forget: reckless, vulgar, "loudmouthed". And that's just what makes me so AWESOME!! RIGHT, GARNET?!!
Amethyst... you are a Crystal Gem. You need to act like it. [Amethyst pauses for a long beat]
Fine. [walks through temple door into her room]
I think we really got through to her. [Garnet sighs; she walks to the front door with Pearl behind] Right, Garnet? [she closes door, Steven is still hardened]
Steven
Guys?
Steven
Wait! I want to tell you Purple Puma's backstory. He was the wildest cat in the jungle, so wild that the others cats couldn't take it. So she, I mean he went to look for somewhere he fit in, somewhere with other people who felt misunderstood.
That really sounds like Steven. [Lars shushes Sadie]
Steven
That's why we're all here. To be wild and free, and body slam each other, and wear cool costumes, and make up nicknames and and uh..so can't we just have this? Can't we just wrestle? [Garnet takes microphone]
No. [everyone gasps] Because we are the...Notorious Order of Wrestling Haters.
That's right! Um...we want to stop all wrestling everywhere! Are you going to let us destroy all wrestling?
You gotta save wrestling! Come on! Tiger! Puma! Tiger! Puma!
[about to bubble desert glass] We should've done this in the first place.
Steven
[to Lion] So I guess, this is goodbye. We had some good times, but I'm sure you have other magical stuff, to smash with other magical boys. [moving Lion's lips] "I love you Steven. I want to stay with you forever!" [gasp] Really? Guys you hear that?
Are we really going to let him keep that?
[laughs hysterically] Oh, oh ho ho, "kept Amethyst", oh Garnet, that's priceless!
Steven
Yay, Lion! [makes Lion wink] Wink!
Steven
Welcome to a wonderland of funtronic gameventions! [laughs]
Humans find such fascinating ways to waste their time.
Steven
Pearl! [takes her hand] Pearl come on, you'll love this game! [leads Pearl away]
If you say so. [Sits down at racing game] Road Killer?
Steven
Yeah, pick the car you like and just go for it!
W-well, which one of these buttons is my turn signal?
Steven
None of them. Have fun. [leaves]
RKRoad Killer
Vroom vroom, kill the road!
Steven
Teens of Rage, this game is perfect for you! You seem like a Joe Rock kinda gal. His special move is [thinking]... Forward, forward, back, tap towards half circle, medium kick-- Oh wait! Maybe that's an aerial move. Just punch and you'll be fine. [Game antagonizes Garnet]
TRTeens of Rage
Come on punk!
[Punches through screen] I did it.
Steven
[Nervous] Uh, let's try something else. [Leads her to Punch Buddy] Okay, this is a game you can actually punch. [Game antagonizes Garnet]
PBPunch Buddy
Give it your best shot kid.
[Wrecks game] I win again.
PBPunch Buddy
Tell my wife I'm sorry!
Steven
[Searching frantically] Uh, uh, um, how about that one? *Points* Meat Beat Mania. There's no violence in this game. Just shake the meat, to the beat. [Garnet begins to play as the game encourages and performs very well]
Steven
Awesome, Garnet, you're so good at this. [Laughs] I wonder how the others are doing.
[pelted with water balloons] Ahh... It feels good to lose.
[clears throat] I certainly hope that's not the attitude you have during battle.
Ugh, you're no fun anymore. This is why we never form Opal.
We don't form Opal because you're difficult and a mess!
We don't form Opal because you're uptight and—
Steven
[jumps in between them] Guys! Guys!! What is Opal?
Oh, it's the two of us, mashed together.
[scoffs] Is water just hydrogen and oxygen "mashed" together?
Analogy wasted. Look here, Steven. [manipulates the sand to demonstrate] When we synchronize our forms, we can combine into a powerful fusion gem named Opal.
[stomps it] Except I don't dance like that.
Steven
Wow! That's so cool! But tell me more about Opal!
Well, Steven, she's an ultra-powerful, stone-cold Betty. That's part's me. And she's like, kinda tall—that part's Pearl.
What Amethyst is attempting to say is, Opal is an amalgam of our magical and physical attributes fused into a single entity.
Steven
Wow, can you do it right now?! Come on, form Opal!! [Amethyst scoffs]
We only form Opal when it's absolutely necessary.
So, was your mission a success?
I've located the geode beetles of Heaven and Earth. We should split up to retrieve them.
Well, I'm going with not Pearl.
That's perfect because I don't want go with grammatically incorrect people anyway.
Steven
Is her talking about me?
You three go together. I go alone.
APAmethyst/Pearl
What?! Why?!
The Earth Beetle is at the bottom of the boiling lava lake, and only I can swim in lava. [summons goggles, straps itself] You'll find the Heaven Beetle at the top of the Sky Spire. It's safer.
Ugh! Come on, you two, let's go. [Steven runs with Amethyst and Pearl to the warp pad]
Steven, be sure to keep the harmony.
Steven
No problem! Today's gonna be all about HAR-MON— [warps in and out] —NYYY—oomph!!
Steven
[dressed as a clown] Happy Birthday! Honk! [squeezes his red nose]
Steven, that is a brave look.
Steven
No, it's funny.
Steven
[almost starts to explain, then looks nervous] Oh geez, I'm breaking character. Wait, wait, wait! I wrote some jokes! [takes out some pages of jokes] "Why did Pearl throw butter out the window?"
Steven
"To see a butter fly!"
[looking hurt] I never did that. Steven... are you telling lies?
Steven Universe · 493 quotes
