Steven Universe quotes from Steven Universe

[huddling up with Pearl and Amethyst] Gem huddle!

Obviously, we're dealing with some sort of super powerful, reality-warping entity.

He could be a danger to the fabric of space itself.

I don't know, guys. I kinda like him.

Steven

[huddling in] Hey! What are you guys talking about?

[also huddling in] Are you forming a secret club? [a clone of himself appears] Can we join too?

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PSPizza Steve

Oh, hey, it's just me, Pizza Steve—just the coolest and tastiest Steve who ever lived.

Steven

Hi, Pizza Steve! I'm a Steve too. Steven Universe.

PSPizza Steve

Ste-ven Universe... [pops out on top of Steven's hair] Come on, Uncle G. I've got two rules: no more than 40 or 50 vans and only one Steve allowed!

Yeah, but this Steven is special.

GMr. Gus

Yeah. He's a Crystal Gem.

Good mornin Mr. Gus.

GMr. Gus

What's up, Uncle Grandpa?

Steven

Whoa Mr. Gus! How do you know about me?

GMr. Gus

I have a comprehensive knowledge of all magical denizens of the multiverse. I know all about the Crystal Gems. Come on, man, check this out. I even made my own Gemsona. [shows art of "Mr. Gusite"] My gem is on my tail and my weapon is a frying pan.

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[The Gems run frantically across the plot hole many times, stop for a breather]

There's got to be some way out of here.

[extremely panicked] WE'LL NEVER ESCAPE!! THIS IS OUR NEW HOME!

Pearl you're overreacting.

I'M NOT OVERREACTING! [runs around screaming crazily until she crashes into Amethyst]

Hey, where's Steven? [Pizza Steve walks in dressed like Steven]

PSPizza Steve

Lookin' for me, Pizza Steven Universe? [Pearl gasps, cowers behind Garnet]

That's not my baby!

Ah, nice! [eyes on Pizza Steve]

PSPizza Steve

Whoa, hold on!

Pizza!! [chases Pizza Steve offscreen]

PSPizza Steve

Don't eat Pizza Steve! [munching noises]

[Amethyst walks back on, putting on Pizza Steve's sunglasses from out of her mouth]

Okay, I'm ready for this episode to end. [stomps her foot on the ground, causing the plot hole to crack and shatter, leaving them back at the beach]

[They see Steven, Uncle Grandpa, Lion, and Giant Realistic Flying Tiger having a tea party]

[sighs] I'm sorry I couldn't help you learn to use your shield, Steven.

Steven

It's okay, Uncle Grandpa. I had a lotta fun today.

GGems

Steven!

Get away from that man!

He's a MONSTER!

[Amethyst hisses and growls]

Steven

Hey, cut it out, guys. He's done enough already.

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GGems

[diving towards Uncle Grandpa while beating him up] FINISH HIM!!!

Steven

[rushing in as a chibi] No, don't hurt him! [lets out a small fart; in slow-motion] STOP!!!!!! [his gem begins to glow and halts the Gems, in shock and surprise, with his shield] Whoa! [turns to Uncle Grandpa] I did it, Uncle Grandpa! I really did it!

Yay.

Protecting him activated Steven's powers?!

He must really care about this stranger.

I hope he didn't care about that pizza.

Steven

Listen! It was a big, weird surprise when Uncle Grandpa showed up here today. We've never met anyone like Uncle Grandpa, but you can't just attack people you don't understand. You have to stick up for them, and listen to what they have to say. You guys always do that for me.

[blushing with tears in her eyes, feeling guilty and sorry] Steven, you're right. [cries emotionally] HOW CAN I BE SO BLIND?! I'M SORRY!

I also apologize for Pearl.

Thank you, you taught us a valuable lesson, Uncle Grandpa.

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[Steven rushes to the Beach House]

Steven

Garnet! Amethyst! Pearl!

Steven!

What is it?!

Whoa, where's the fire?

Steven

It's an emergency! You have to help me take down all the shirts and stop Buck from making more!

Have the shirts come to life and and possessed the bodies of their wearers?!

Steven

Uh, no! They just—

Are people catching on fire when they put on the magic shirts?

Steven

No! No, they're just—

Are the shirts destroying the wearer's will to continue on in this mortal coil, thereby shutting down Beach City!?!

Steven

NOOOOO!!! They're— they're just... using my art in a way I don't agree with.

Oh. [all Gems sit down]

Ah, we'll pass.

Steven

What?! But— but I really need your help!

Steven, this sounds like a very abstract problem.

It's not something we can punch!

You must learn to help yourself. That's how you become stronger. [shades sparkle]

APAmethyst/Pearl

Good point, good point. / Oh, absolutely.

Steven

But..!

You figure something out, Steven!

Yes! Why not dust off those conflict resolution skills?

Let your problem be known, then you can work towards an understanding.

Steven

Oh... I'll make them understand. I'll make them all understand... [leaves]

Eh, he'll be fine.

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[Steven and Connie meet Jamie sitting on a log in the beach]

Steven

Jamie!

Oh, hey, Connie and Steven. You guys come out here to stare at the ocean and think about life too?

Uhh, no...? We came to, uh—

Yeah, life is crazy. One day, you're right here in Beach City delivering mail and then the next thing you know... you're on a bus to Kansas, following your dreams of becoming an actor. "Follow your dreams," they said. But no one said anything about all the rejection and sadness there was to be found. So many auditions day after day... So much rejection day after day... That's why I came back. [two seagulls crash into each other and fall into the sea] One more rejection would have destroyed my fragile heart. [sobs, chuckles] Sorry... sometimes I get caught up in the drama zone, you know?

Steven

Yeah, right... Drama zone.

Oh, by the way, we have something for yo—

Steven

No, we don't!

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I didn't mean to upset you.

Then will you go out with me?

No!

But I've loved you since the moment I saw you.

Love at first sight doesn't exist. Love takes time and love takes work. At the very least, you have to know the other person. And you literally have no idea who or what I am. [shades glimmer]

But I bloom for you like— like a... camellia... under moonlight?

No, you don't! [long beat] You make a very convincing lovesick fool. You convinced these children. [adjusts her shades] You even convinced yourself. [smiling] You're a fantastic actor.

[beat] ..What am I supposed to do now?

Start with local theater. [slaps Jamie's back, then walks away. Connie and Steven walk closer to him]

Are you okay?

Yeah. That was some pretty solid advice.

Steven

Were those more letters you wrote to Garnet?

No. That was the mail I was supposed to deliver on my last route.

Steven

[beat] We'll help you pick it all up.

Thanks.

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This is not a good choice for your form.

Lighten up, Garnet. Can't you take a joke?

It's not funny. You've made yourself ridiculous.

RIDICULOUS?!?!

Keep your voice down! The creature...

Hrrr... You wanted me to be more like Pearl, and now I am!!

[low voice] Pearl would've taken her regeneration seriously!

WHAT DO YOU CARE!?! MY FORM IS MY BUSINESS!!

It's my business when it affects the strength of the team!!

..So what?! I'm not strong enough?! [gets dragged by the Slinker]

Steven

Amethyst!

ARE YOU SAYING... I'M WEAK?!?! [poofs again; Steven catches her gemstone]

Steven

Is it weird I'm getting numbed to this?

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[fights off seagulls with her violin bow] Run back to your masters! Tell them we're not afraid of your kind!

Steven

[chuckles] Thanks for saving my jam snack. Unfortunately, it's not safe from me. [munches it] You're such a good sword fighter, Connie.

Really? I was just swinging this thing around. I don't really know what I'm doing, but I'd love to learn how to use a real sword!

Steven

Oh! [gulps snack; starry eyes] Steven has an idea!

[back at the Beach House]

You want me to do what?!

Steven

You should teach Connie to sword fight, she's already so good!

Steven!

Steven

But you are! Y-You helped me fight the robot floaty-thing, she took down that evil clone of herself, uh... those mean seagulls just now?

You're awfully young to begin something like this. But I suppose I was only a few thousand years old when I began fighting alongside Rose Quartz. [Connie raises her hand] Yes, Connie?

Please! I want to learn! I mean, I don't know what'll happen in the future. But if something dangerous comes along... I don't wanna be a burden, I wanna help! I want to be there for Steven to fight by his side! The Earth is my home too. Can't I help protect it? [Pearl starts watering tears of joy]

Oh... okay... If that's how you feel... we should get started!

Steven

Woo-hoo! [runs after her laughing]

Wait, now?

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[belly laughs] Wow, Garnet! That is the funniest thing I've ever heard!

Garnet, master of comedy.

Hehehe... Yo, Steven. [pretend-yells] WHY ARE YOU STANDING THERE ALL SAD LIKE THAT?!?!

Steven

W-well... Connie is taking sword fighting lessons from Pearl, but I think it's getting a little too serious. She wants Connie to do all this dangerous stuff for me.

That makes sense.

Steven

What do you mean?

Back during the war, Pearl took pride in risking her destruction for your mother. She put Rose Quartz over everything — over logic, over consequence, over her own life.

[Pearl and Rose switch to Connie and Steven, respectively. She charges at the enemy before cutting to Steven's horrified face]

You okay, dude?

Steven

I have to do something!! Thanks for telling me that, bye!!

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RRonaIdo

I am now going to attempt to make contact with the mysterious, reclusive, [Steven comes out] and—ahh!

Steven

Hi, Ronaldo! Uh, hi, Peedee. Is that a camera?

Peedee

Yeah. We're making a movie about—

RRonaIdo

It's an investigative report, shot camera vérité.

Steven

Cool!

RRonaIdo

So... you wanna participate in a groundbreaking interview?

Steven

Hmm. Only if you participate in a glass of fresh-squeezed lemonade! [walks back inside]

[cue Ronaldo and Steven in the Beach House]

Steven

Ohh, that giant hand? It was a spaceship coming to get us.

RRonaIdo

Us?! I knew it! Steven, we know too much!

Steven

No, not "us" us. I-I meant me and the Crystal Gems.

RRonaIdo

Wait. So the hand wasn't here to snatch up humans for a human zoo? Or interfere with our subsidized Beach City wind farm?! Or thaw the cryogenically frozen pets of the one percent!?!

Steven

Uh... no, I'm pretty sure it came to Beach City for me and the Crystal Gems.

RRonaIdo

Oh. So, if you and the Crystal Gems weren't here, we wouldn't have been attacked by the giant hand?

Steven

Ohh-hoh-hoh! Definitely not.

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Garnet, you don't think Peridot would come looking for us, do you?

We weren't her priority. She was sent here to do something in the Kindergarten.

Do you think she's still going to try to reactivate it?

Mm. If she gets it back up and running, the Injectors will turn back on.

Steven

Injectors? What're those?

You've already seen them. [projects hologram from her gemstone] Well, you've seen them disabled. If Peridot reactivates them, they'll pick right up where they left off, planting gems in the crust of the Earth, where they'll incubate and suck the life right out of the ground. We can't let Peridot restart Gem production here. If we do... [sighs] the entire planet will become…

Janked.

Garnet! [laughs] That mouth! [sniggers]

Don't worry. We'll stop her.

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These were Crystal Gems, shattered into pieces. They were buried together.

Steven

Why aren't you moving?!

They were forced together. They were forced to fuse! This is wrong! I-I'm sorry! [glows and starts to come undone]

Steven

No, no, Garnet! You're coming undone!

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Steven

We did it! Garnet?

GRGarnet/Ruby

So this is what Homeworld thinks of fusion.

GSGarnet/Sapphire

We couldn't have known they would do this.

GRGarnet/Ruby

This is where they've been…all the ones we couldn't find… they've been here the whole time!

GSGarnet/Sapphire

Rose couldn't have known.

GRGarnet/Ruby

This is punishment for the rebellion!

GSGarnet/Sapphire

[breaking down] It's not our fault!

Steven

Garnet!

S-Steven.

[sliding down with Pearl] Yo! We're back.

Garnet, we lost Peridot. Her fingers were too fast for us. [two fused hands climb up on Amethyst and grabs them] Um… what are these things?

PUT THEM DOWN!

Steven

Uh!

Wha...? [throws the hands away]

We need to poof and bubble all of them. We can't let any escape. [She poofs the hands as the screen turns black]

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[Steven looks at Garnet as he takes the clothes out the dryer into the basket]

Steven

What's it like... being a fusion?

You fused.

Steven

I mean, like, all the time. Do you forget who you used to be?

You forget you were ever alone. You know when you fuse, you don't feel like two people. You feel like one being. And your old names might as well be names for your left arm, and your right.

Steven

When you split up, is it like you disappear?

I embody my— I mean, Ruby and Sapphire's love. I always exist in them, even if I split apart. But the strength of that love keeps me together, so I can stay Garnet for a very long time.

Steven

That's why you're so great!

[smiles] Ha. [Steven starts laughing, with a light blue colored sock being blown away]

Steven

Oh, no! [Garnet catches it]

Don't wanna break up a pair.

Steven

[holds peach colored sock] Yeah, you're right. [Garnet folds socks into basket] They belong together.