Paul, I can't decide whether I should stay in or not
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
Correction, he's got THREE houses in Queens, an ace of a guy....and a seven
James! Good news buddy, you are back on speech duty. Now I don't want to put too much pressure on you, but you got to write me something amazing.
You got it, Mike. [tries to leave]
No no no James you don't understand. This has to be brilliant, I mean, it has to be inspiring.
No sweat, I'll crank something out by lunchtime
Not with that attitude you won't! Look, where are the nerves. Where's the fear? Do you know what great athletes do before the big game?
Steroids?
Guess what I am doing tonight. A: Going to the gym. B: Being a contestant on "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?".
Well, we know it's not the gym.
[Watching TV. Nikki comes in and takes the remote] Hey, what are you doing?
Watching Paul on "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?" He's up to the $500,000 question.
Well, I want to make sure the well doesn't collapse on the Mayor.
Janelle, even if it does, you know they'll interrupt "Millionaire".
...That's true. [Changes the channel]
RPRegis Philbin
[After Paul is up to $500,000] Paul, you're on fire! What is your secret?
I'M GUESSING!
[Paul is trying to decide on answering the $1 million question] Come on, Paul, say something!
Just take the money. I'll learn to love you.
And remember, don't anybody tell Paul about this 'cause he's got a big mouth!
Who has a big mouth? Tell me! I wanna know! I wanna tell other people!
PDr. Peterson
Mike, are you angry at me, or are you angry at your penis?
Is that the only class you took in training school?
If you take the fall, then the whole staff goes down with you. This way, only one person gets hurt.
But why can't that person be Paul?
Make sure this Tony guy doesn't think you're still dating him.
Fine, I will die alone with 17 cats.
What's your excuse?
I have an excuse, but it's really not the time right now.
Yes it is.
Well, I flew with air Sweden yesterday.
Oh, don't tell me, you met some fancy stewardess and ended up going to her hotel.
...
Oh my god.
Stuart, says here you're with the war against pornography.
You're reading that wrong, it's the war against the war against pornography.
I thought that was a typo.
Do you remember anything about this woman?
Ehr...
You pig!
Wait, something's coming.
Stuart, Rags was swept to the street last day and accidentally taken to the pound.
He was found without a leash and than committed a G&B.
...
Growl and Bite.
Come on, you're in charge of this, make a call and set him released.
Can't do that Carter, if I release Rags we have to release that Poodle we napped for a DNR.
...
Dump -N- Run.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Spin City pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.