Carter Heywood quotes from Spin City

Carter

(in a bunny suit) Mike, hurry up!

Mike

I can't run in this suit!

Old Stuart

Long time no see. How old are you now?

Mike

(Looks exactly the same) Eighty-eight.

Stuart

You know who I can't believe is still alive?

Carter

Who? Ha.

Carter

I don't get this rock-papers-scissor. Why does paper beat rock?

Paul

It just does!

Carter

Why don't you grab a piece of paper, I get a rock, we'll meet at the playground and then let's see what beats what!

What sort of action are we tracking?

Carter

Sir, this area is dominated by the world's oldest profession.

[nods] Bankers.

Carter

Stuart, Rags was swept to the street last day and accidentally taken to the pound.

Stuart

He was found without a leash and than committed a G&B.

Carter

...

Stuart

Growl and Bite.

Carter

Come on, you're in charge of this, make a call and set him released.

Stuart

Can't do that Carter, if I release Rags we have to release that Poodle we napped for a DNR.

Carter

...

Stuart

Dump -N- Run.

Stuart

Hey Paul, nice suit... wait a minute, today's the Bagel.

Charlie

What's the Bagel?

Stuart

Every year when Paul asks the mayor for a raise he gives him... the bagel.

Carter

[Walks in] Hey Paul, hey today's the bagel.