J. Jonah Jameson quotes from Spider-Man

Who are you?! What do you want?

Shocker

We got important business you and I [shows hospital hand band]

What you have done to my son?

Shocker

Listen, and listen well

That's just it, Astronaut John Jameson has been kidnapped from his, we are going now to the Colonel's Father, J.Jonah Jameson, with a stable in his house in Madden

Spider-man,whatever you are,if are within in sound of my voice,you must contact me,it's a matter of life and death

[annoyed] So after all of this, I'm supposed to come running to your beck and call? This's for John, old man. Not you. [turns off TV and changes to black suit]

Driver what are you doing? My tailor isn't anywhere near this place.

Just be calm Mr. Jameson. No harm will come to you.

Maybe you forgot to pay your last tailor's bill.

I guess it really does pay to practice shoddy journalism, keep it up J.J.

Why, you!

Gotta run!

Sleep tight Chameleon, maybe when you wake up you'll feel more like yourself.

The Chameleon? Here? Right next to me? I need a long vacation.

Harry Osborn

[Enraged] Hey, wait a second! They never recovered a body. There's still a chance my father survived.

Don't torture yourself with false hope, my boy.

Harry Osborn

[Stands up in rage] Don't call me "boy"! I am every bit the man that my father was. He considered you all his friends. [Holds up the newspaper] And look how you betrayed him! [Slams down the newspaper] If he really is gone, then you are all guilty of driving him to his destruction!

Young Mr. Osborn does have a point. His father's demise cannot yet be proven. Therefore, I suggest we table the issue of his replacement for the moment. I move that this meeting be ajourned.

[to Mary Jane] As with the others, justice will be meted out to you in due time, my little miss. [dons a judge's robe] But first, I must call this court to order! You are all charged with the crime of hypocrisy - a crime that destroyed Norman Osborn! [to Jameson] You claimed to be his friend, yet you filled your newspaper with stories to ruin his reputation!

That's a lie!

[to Anastasia Hardy] You called Osborn a threat to humanity, but who was it that funded Dr. Otto Octavius, one of the greatest criminals of all time?!

You're mad! Let us go!

[to Fisk] And you, the worst of them all! Your sins are exceeded only by your girth! [Fisk angrily strains against his shackles] Good thing I made your shackles out of indestructible titanium too, eh? Justice will be served! And all of you will suffer for your crimes against Norman Osborn! [flies to a small replica of the Statue of Liberty, with a cloth covering its face] Because justice is blind NO LONGER! [pulls away the cloth to reveal a mask like his own, and laughs]

All you megalomaniacs have such a weird sense of humour!

What's your angle in this?

Saving your ungrateful life.

[Enraged] Why I oughta–!

Mary Jane

Mr. Jameson, come on!

How can one man hold the entire NYPD at bay like that?

Jonah, Kasady's not a man, he's a monster. He's done things even the Post wouldn't print.

War Machine

Hold it! I think he looks good in the mask.

What are you doing?! I'm a journalist!

War Machine

You're also trespassing.

Trespassing?! That's ridiculous! Here's my press badge--

War Machine

[crushes it in one hand] I don't see no stinkin' badge.

What are you, nuts?! You'll hear from my lawyers! I've got the best!

It's all your fault those freaks got that device, Stark! Your security staff is incompetent - and rude too!

They just have a low tolerance for yellow journalism.

"Yellow"?! How dare you use that kind of language in a description of me?!

Dr. Ashley Kafka

You use the word "freaks". These are human beings who have an illness.

You make it sound like they have the flu, Dr. Kafka! These monsters must be stopped!

Venom

Why, if it isn't our old boss! [picks up Jameson by the leg] Perfect appetizer. [spots Peter Parker] Ah, and here is the main course. [shoot web at Parker Parker tying him to a video camera] This is what we call service!

Dr. Ashley Kafka

No, Eddie!

Venom

You?

Dr. Ashley Kafka

Eddie, listen to me. It's the symbiote that compels you to violence. You must fight its influence.

Yeah, Brock. D-D-D-D-D-D-Don't hurt me. I've always thought the world of you. [Venom gently puts Jameson down as Dr. Ashley approaches him] Stay away from him, Kafka. [crawls away from Venom]

Dr. Ashley Kafka

Eddie.

Your plundering is gonna get us sliced into fish paste!

Well, that should stop them.

What if they can swim?

No way! It's flesh that provides buoyancy, or hot air. Which means you'd never drown.

Why you..

Ah, ah, ah! Be nice, I just saved your life, remember?

Nothing personal, but between Fisk and me, this wedding business is war.

[to himself] Oh, fine.

And don't worry about paying me back, you can work it off over the next decade or two.

Huh?