Spaced quotes

Mike

I'm off to point the pink pistol at the porcelain firing range.

Mike

Note to self: Shoot first, quip later.

Don't even think about leaving the country.

Daisy

Don't worry. I won't. ...I can't afford it.

Daisy

I'm sorry!

Mike

I'm hit!

Brian

I'M BLIND!

Tim

Buffy...?

Tim

You are so blind! You so do not understand! You weren't there at the beginning. You don't know how good it was! How important! This is it for you! This jumped-up firework display of a toy advert! People like you make me sick! What's wrong with you?! Now, I don't care if you've saved up all your 50ps, take your pocket money, and GET OUT!

Tim

What a prick.

I was like you once. Blonde hair. Scraggly little beard. Childlike ears. Full of beans, and spunk. I let my principles get in the way of things. I punched a bloke in the face once for saying Hawk the Slayer was rubbish.

Tim

Good for you.

Yeah, thanks. But that's not the point, Tim. The point is I was defending the fantasy genre with terminal intensity, when what I should have said was "Dad, you're right - but let's give Krull a try, and we'll discuss it later." [pause] The Phantom Menace was eighteen months ago, Tim!

Tim

I know Bilbo, but... it still hurts, you know? I mean, that kid wanted a Jar Jar doll!

Bilbo

Kids like Jar Jar!

Tim

Why?

What about the Ewoks eh? They were rubbish! You don't complain about them!

Tim

Yeah but Jar Jar Binks makes the Ewoks look like... fuckin'... Shaft!

How long have you been unemployed, Mr Bisley?

Tim

[checks watch] About an hour and a half.

Have you been looking for work?

Tim

[laughs, then sees she's serious] Um, no.

Why did you leave your last job?

Tim

Got fired.

Why?

Tim

[nonchalantly] Uh, a difference of opinion...

The Phantom Menace?

Tim

[pauses, then, surprised] Yeah...

Didn't you like it?

Tim

[cautiously] No...

Well, [taps nose conspiratorially] you leave this with me. I'll get you some money out in the next few days.

So, don't forget to wash your sheets...

Brian

Right.

...and your penis.

Brian

Okay.

Daisy

What are we going to do? You're unemployed. I've got no money coming in. How am I going to afford aspirational magazines?!

Bilbo

[Sniffy] He should store his special editions behind the counter, not hide them away at the back of the shop. Man's insane.

Bilbo

[Stand-offish] What's Derek like as a boss?

Tim

[Stand-offish] He's okay. Don't fully agree with his policy on vintage comic display.

Bilbo

[Desperate] Look, Tim, I'm sorry I fired you. It was a mistake! Will you come back?

Tim

Oh, why? Things not working out with the new guy?

Bilbo

[Sheepish] You could say that.

Hawk the Slayer's rubbish!

Tim

[Stand-offish] I see.

Bilbo

Will you come back?

Tim

Well, I like it here, Bilbo. What makes you think I want to come back?

Bilbo

This.

Tim

[On machine; sobbing] Look, B-Bilbo, t-this is Tim. Please can I come back?! I don't like it here!

Tim

[Sheepish] You got that, did you?

Bilbo

I would have come in anyway. The place just isn't the same without you there.

Tim

[Warmly] I'm already there.

Bilbo

[Alarmed] What?!

Tim

I mean I'll come back.

Bilbo

Oh, right. Frightened me for a moment there.

Tim

Derek? Babylon 5's a big pile of shit.

Get out!!

[Joyfully] Hooray!

Tim

I got me job back.

[Joyfully] Ayyyeee!

Mike

I got me own room.

[Joyfully] Ayyyeee!

Tim

Where's Brian?

Mike

He's standing in the garden with no clothes on.

[Joyfully] Ayyyeee!

Have you thought any more about that rematch, Michael?

Mike

Yes and no.

What does that mean?

Tim

It means 'yes, he's thought about it' and 'no, he doesn't want one'. [To Mike] Doesn't it?

Mike

Yes.

So that's a 'no', is it?

Daisy

What does "T.F.U" stand for?

Tim

Uh... The Fuckest Upest.