“Mettle” · Season 2, Episode 3
In this episode: Tim Bisley (7), Mike Watt (5), Daisy Steiner (2)
Have you thought any more about that rematch, Michael?
Yes and no.
What does that mean?
It means 'yes, he's thought about it' and 'no, he doesn't want one'. [To Mike] Doesn't it?
Yes.
So that's a 'no', is it?
Tim and Mike: [Momentarily uncertain] ... Yes.
What does "T.F.U" stand for?
Uh... The Fuckest Upest.
[Daisy pretending to be Philippa Forrester to interview Tim]
This is a very large machine Tim. Take you long?
No, not really.
Hm, fast worker?
Well why don't you come on back to my flat and we'll find out.
I think you've already answered my question [laughs].
So you like my robot then.
I love it. [gasp] What's this?
It's an axe. Feel the weight.
[Daisy lifts the axe. Both draw in a breath.]
There's nothing more devastating than a big chopper.
Shhh...[places a finger over Daisy's lips] Don't cheapen this. [moves the hair from her face]
[Daisy and Tim move closer, apparently about to kiss, when Mike opens the front door.]
[suspicious] What's going on?
Uh, I was just coming - to the pub, with you.
Yeah, I think we should take the Private down to the shed.
[Mike goes to another room.]
Hmm, what's up with Mike?
Nothing, he just, he usually likes to be Philippa.
[Talking about the robot's axe, both covered in plasters and bruises]
I think we should lose the axe.
I like the axe.
I like my face.
I like your face.
Let's keep the axe.
[Trying to figure out who destroyed 'Private Iron']
I think I can guess.
This isn't the work of amateurs, Tim. Private Iron was taken apart by someone who knew what they were doing.
Right, and what happens now?
Well, if we can't fix him in time, we're automatically disqualified. Runners-up go through.
And they are?
[Gasps, as if realizing] Dexter and Cromwell!
Right.
... So who did this?
They did!
[After having smashed Tim and Mike's robot]
Ah, Michael. Heard about your robot. Crying shame.
What do you mean, 'crying shame'? You did it, you... fucking plum.
Gentlemen, welcome to Robot Club. The first rule of Robot Club is, you do not talk about about Robot Club. The second rule of Robot Club is, YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT Ro… wait, I… got that wrong. [Unfolding a crumpled up piece of paper and pushing up his glasses] The second rule is, no smoking.
Why aren't we allowed to smoke?
We're not allowed to talk about it.
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