[South Park Elementary, next day. The kids are filling their seats. Stan and Kyle enter the classroom]
Dude, it looks like Cartman and Kenny are ditching school again.
[he and Stan take their seats] Yeah, they're gonna get busted again.
[enters carrying a few books] Alright, class, let's take our seats. [seats the book down on her desk and turns to the class] Now, uh, before we get started, Stan and Kyle? Uh, the principal needs to see you in her office.
The principal? Aw, come on!
We don't know where Cartman is, Ms. Choksondik!
She needs to see you now. [points to the door. Stan and Kyle leave their seats, Kyle leading Stan]
Aw man, here we go again! Use the Jew as a scapegoat.
[Principal Victoria's office, moments later. Stan and Kyle are expecting the usual lecture, but are surprised to see their parents on either side of Principal Victoria and Mr. Mackey]
Hello, boys.
Wait. What's going on here? [he and Kyle back up a bit. Their parents join them]
Alright, we don't know for sure why Cartman is ditching school, but it has something to do with abortion. That's all we know.
[Chef has joined the principal and Mr. Mackey] You didn't do anything wrong boys. We just need to talk to you. Have a seat. [the boys each take a chair and sit down] Boys, uh... your little friend Kenny went to the hospital last night, m'kay. [the boys look stunned] And well, he's pretty sick. [Sharon leans on Randy]
Kenny's sick?
Well, how sick?
Children, Kenny has been diagnosed with a... terminal disease.
[after a pause] ...But... the doctors are gonna make him better, right?
Oh dear. [buries her face in Randy's shoulder]
Mom, that's what hospitals are for. They, they can make him better.
Randy...
They don't think so, Stanley. Your friend is terminally ill, and that means.. Well son,... th- that means he's going to be going to heaven soon.
Wait. Kenny's going to die?
He might, Kyle.
[tearing up] ...But... he's out... fu... fufu- friend.
We know, and that's why he's going to need you boys to be strong for him, m'kay? He needs you now more than ever.
No! This can't happen! Kenny can't die! Kenny can't die!! [buries his face in Randy's arm and begins sobbing]
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