Stan and Chef in “Kenny Dies”

Stan

Why would God let Kenny die, Chef? Why? Kenny's my f-f-friend. Why can't God take someone Else's f-f-friend?

There, there, Stan, sometimes God take those closest to us, because it makes him feel better about Himself. He's a very vengeful God, Stan. He's all pissed off about something we did thousands of years ago - he just can't get over it. So he doesn't care who he takes: children, puppies, it don't matter to him, so long as it makes us sad. Do you understand?

Stan

Then why does God give us anything to start with?

Well, look at it this way: if you want to make a baby cry, first, you give it a lollipop. Then, you take it away. If you never give it a lollipop to begin with, then you would have nothing to cry about. That's like God, who gives us life and love and health, just so that he can tear it all away and make us cry, so he can drink the sweet milk of our tears. You see, it's our tears, Stan, that give God his great power.

Stan

I think I understand.