[the boys are reading the condom instructions]
Doesn't it give any other directions?
Nope. It looks like you're just supposed to r-roll it over your wiener. [reading the disclaimer] If used properly, latex condoms are effective against pregnancy, AIDS and other studses. [STD's]
What are studses?
Huh...how the heck should I know? [opens condom] Why, it's just a little doughnut! [touches it] Oh, ohhhh...it's all gooey!
Just put it on, Butters.
How come I got to go first?
Butters, will you stop uh-...filibustering?
Oh all right then. [turns around and pulls his pants down] Oh, it's all sticky.
It says you gotta check it for holes or tears.
I don't even understand how this thing-oh, wait. Oh, I see. [Cartman looks over]
Don't look at Butters's schlong, gay mo!
I wasn't looking at his schlong! I was seeing how to put the condom on!
Sure...
But it won't stay on. I need a rubber band or something.
Gah! I got rubber bands!
[fastening the condom with rubber bands] Ow! Oh... ow! Okay... ow! There... okay, I think it's on.
How do you feel?
...Pretty good.
Do you feel protected?
Yeah, I don't think nothing's getting in my wiener through this thing. It's even got a little reservoir at the end so you can pee in it.
All right, here, everybody. Tweek, give everyone a rubber band. Somebody needs to help Timmy get his condom on.
TIMMEH!
More from this episode
All quotes from this episode →More South Park quotes · These quotes come from Wikiquote's South Park pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.