South Park · Season 23, Episode 3
“SHOTS!!!” · Season 23, Episode 3
In this episode: Eric Cartman (2), Liane (2), Stan Marsh (1), Randy Marsh (1), Sharon Marsh (1), Stephen Stotch (1), Shelley (1), Dr. Gauche (1)
No shots! No shots!
Eric, you have to be a big boy.
Big boys get a toy from the toy chest.
No, no, no, no, no! [screeches]
Eric, it's just a little prick.
[laughs, and the doctor gets even closer] No! No! No! Noooooo!
Good boy, Eric!
[Eric panics and jumps all over the place, squealing like a pig]
[That night at the Cartman residence… Liane peeks into her son's room, checking to see if he's asleep, then signals the parents by flickering her bedroom light off and on and they come inside]
[with Linda, Gerald and Sheila creeping behind him; whispering] Alright, alright. Bring him in! [Richard and Mrs. Tweak enter with the doctor] The little boy's room is upstairs.
[whispering; worried] Oh, I don't know if I can go through with this. My little Eric is going to be so mad at me!
Look, by the time he knows what's happened, it'll already be over.
Did you bring his boo-boo present?
Yes, yes. Come on, Thomas and Laura!
[Thomas and Laura enter with a Hot Wheels racing game for Cartman along with Linda Black with a sign reading: "You did it, Eric"] Okay, see? We got the present, everything's gonna be fine.
[The parents go upstairs and into Cartman's room; The doctor puts his medicine kit on the bed, prepares a vaccine, and draws it close to Cartman]
[suddenly wakes up, sensing someone nearby] Hey, what's going on? [notices the doctor about to inject the vaccine into him, then bolts out of bed, and runs around in panic]
It'll be just for a second!
[trying to catch him] Oh, Jesus!
Eric, there's a big treat for you if you stay still!
[turns off TV after watching the commercial] Well? What'd you think, guys?
How much did you spend making that commercial?
Who cares, Sharon? Business is up.
[furiously] Nobody cares about your stupid $300,000! We've become the kind of business that we moved out here to get away from! You know why the Chinese buy our weed?! It's to plant on their student protesters so they can put them in jail!
Yeah. We make money either way.
You don't care how anyone else feels! We bought this farm together, Randy! Or did you forget that?! [leaves]
I hate marijuana! [gets off the sofa and leaves too]
[gasps] Shelley!
I hate marijuana too. [gets off the sofa and leaves as well]
[gasps] Stan!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's South Park pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
