South Park · Season 18, Episode 4
“Handicar” · Season 18, Episode 4
In this episode: Stan Marsh (1), Kyle Broflovski (1), Randy Marsh (1), Sharon Marsh (1), Stephen Stotch (1), Gerald Broflovski (1), Linda Stotch (1), Nathan (1)
Nobody takes jobs away from us! We need to speak to mayor and tell her to shut down this illegitimate business!
Or maybe we can have the police shut them down.
Hey, I got an idea! Why don't you guys just make your cars cleaner and nicer and try to be better to your customers so you can compete with Handicar's popularity in the market place?
How can people be so ineffectual, Mimsy?
Dah, I don't know, boss.
These are supposed to be men who care about their occupation.
Dah, maybe if they're that incompetent we shouldn't be trying to save their jobs. Maybe Handicar is a kind of natural selection where more diligent workers are weeding out the useless ones. DEEERRR!
[Deleted Scene; The Marsh and Broflovski families are all at the Stotch house, barricading and boarding up the house]
All the windows are barricaded in the back.
Good. Those boards there could use some reinforcement, too. What about the blankets? Do we have enough blankets?
[comes downstairs with seven blankets] I found seven upstairs. Will that be enough?
There should be more in the basement, Sharon.
Could someone please tell us what's going on?
Nothing, boys. It's just-- Maybe a blizzard on the way, that's all.
Look, are we really gonna keep the kids in the dark about this?
About what? You tell us we were all staying at Butters' house, and then you all board up the windows and doors. What's going on?
Tell them, Stephen.
You kids-- You've had the luxury of living in a very peaceful time. When we were kids, things weren't so great. There were countries, corporations, all fighting over which kind of vehicle should be the car of the future. Each week, they would hold a race. They were blood baths. Humanity at its very worst. They were called, the Wacky Races.
A race of different vehicles driven by some of the most insane people on Earth. They'd do whatever they could to stop one another and win.
Every week, it was the same. Completely senseless violence for no apparent reason. We would watch on Saturday mornings. It was unbearable.
I saw a man get his head run over, flattened into the pavement while his dog-- his dog laughed. It laughed! [starts to sob as Linda consoles him]
For whatever reason, the world leaders have decided to bring the Wacky Races back. All we can do is stay inside and wait-- wait for it to be over.
[sobbing] Why did the dog laugh?! Why, Linda?!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's South Park pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
