Look, I'm just saying that somewhere between Jesus dying on the cross and a giant bunny hiding eggs there seems to be a, a gap of information.
Stanley, just dye your goddamned eggs!
[gets up from his seat and leaves the dining table, storming upstairs to his room; frustrated] I don't feel like coloring eggs! I don't get!
Well, he's just getting older, Randy. Maybe he's figured out the Easter Bunny isn't real.
[slams his hands on the table, angrily having to have heard that, and rises up from his seat] You know so little. [leaves]
[Cartman on Easter Bunny's lap in the mall]
...and I want a Baltor soldier doll for Easter, and 5 crash-and-go RC cars, you got that? DO YOU HAVE THAT?!
EB Easter Bunny
Uh...don't you think that's....
No! No! You don't ask me questions! You are a rabbit. I am a human. If you don't bring me what I want for Easter, I can buckskin kill you!
[camerawoman takes a picture of Cartman and Easter Bunny. Cartman leaves]
[happily] Bye, Easter Bunny!
EB Easter Bunny
Oh. my God!
[Ninjas enter Professor Teabag's mansion and sneak up behind the butler, who is polishing silver. The butler senses and turns to see them]
B Butler
MR. TEABAG, GET OUT!
[ninjas kill him]
PT Prof. Teabag
Boys, get out of here. [opens a window and lets Stan and Kyle down a ladder] Head to the woods, I'll try to buy you some time. [goes over to table and gets a box of marshmallow peeps]
N Ninja
[distantly] Check upstairs! [Teabag puts peeps into oven] Kitchen's clear, try the office! [Teabag sets oven for 15 seconds. Ninja bursts through the door] In here... [follows and notices peeps in oven] What's that? [peeps swell in oven as microwave ticks down. Teabag closes his eyes] PEEEEPS!
[oven explodes; explosion kills Teabag and ninjas and destroys mansion]
[In a Vatican Holding Cell]
We have no choice, Kyle, You're going to have to kill me.
Stab me with this. [shows Kyle the nail file] If I die, I can resurrect outside the bars.
Suicide is blasphemy. There's no choice here, Kyle.
Dude, you don't understand. I'm a Jew. I have a few hang-ups about killing Jesus.
Just make it quick, through the neck. I'll rise again immediately.
My son, there is no time. Do it.
Eric Cartman can never know about this.
I understand. And Kyle...Happy Easter.
Happy Easter, Jesus. [stabs Jesus in neck]
[Jesus makes dying noises and runs around cell bleeding to death]
CH − Previous episode · S11 E4 The Snuke CH + Next episode · S11 E6 D-Yikes!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's South Park pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License .
