[nonchalantly] A ladder to heaven? That's fuckin' stupid.
“A Ladder to Heaven” · Season 6, Episode 12
In this episode: Eric Cartman (4), Kyle Broflovski (2), Stan Marsh (1), Mr. Garrison (1), Kenny McCormick (1)
RReporter
Do you believe in the ladder to heaven?
FMFat Man
If heaven is an 8-year-old boy and the ladder is my penis... [the cameraman steers away, but the fat man tries to get back on screen] And the pearly gates are the-- [static]
FMFat Man
If Saddam Hussein was an 8-year-old boy and my penis were the United States, then there wou-- [cameraman steers away] Hard nipples! [cut to anchor]
AAnchor
Goddammit. [holds up static screen and imitates static]
Dude, what the hell's wrong with you?
I don't know! It's like my brain just keeps...jacking off.
Maybe you've got brain cancer.
You think?!
Don't get cancer on the ladder, Cartman! You're gonna fall off and break it.
AJAlan Jackson
Where were you when they built the ladder to heaven?
Did it make you feel like crying?
Or did you think it was kinda gay?
Well I, for one, believe in the ladder to heaven
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah… 9/11
I said 9/11, 9/11, 9/11, Ni-hi, hi-hine…
…Eleven
AJAlan Jackson
[in voice more high-pitched than his singing voice] You little bastards ruined my latest song! [smashes guitar]
[during flashback]
[singing] In the ghetto, in the ghetto
He's a boy wearing orange who's losing his pride
'Cause Kenny and his whole family reside
In the ghetto, in the ghetto
Shut up, Cartman, you blood-belching vagina!
What did you say?
I said, shut up, Cartman, you blood-belching vagina!
What did you say?!
[after flashback]
I said, shut up, Cartman, you blood-belching vagina! [comes to] Did I just call myself a blood-belching vagina?
Maybe, we're not seeing heaven because one of us is a J-O-O.
What does me being a Jew have to do with anything?
I've never heard the words "only" and "candy" in the same sentence before.
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