Don't screw around in Shop Class!
“Tweek vs. Craig” · Season 3, Episode 4
In this episode: Mr. Adler (4), Eric Cartman (1), Stan Marsh (1), Kyle Broflovski (1), Wendy (1), Craig (1)
[After writing a suicide note, Mr. Adler lies on a conveyor belt and it takes him feet-first to a buzz-saw, which he hopes will kill him]
Jesus Christ! [sits up and re positions himself to go head-first] What was I thinking? That would've hurt like hell!
I guess you don't care about what Tweek said about your mom.
Nope! [slams the door shut]
[surprised] God damn it. [knocks on door again. Craig answers again] Oh, I guess you don't want to hear what he had to say about your guinea pig?
Said what?! What did he say about Stripe?
Oh nothing, just that you stick it up your leg before you go to bed every night.
That son of a bitch, I'll kill him!
[Tweek and Craig are wrestling each other]
Don't screw around!
[Kenny clings to the jigsaw to avoid getting hurt by Tweek and Craig]
Stop screwing around! Hey, you're screwing around too much!
[Kenny's parka gets caught in the spinning blade, causing him to get flung into a box of rusty nails]
Oh, my God! They killed Kenny!
You bastards!
I requested to be in shop class, but they sent me here.
That's right, Wendy. You see, some of you girls will go on to have interesting jobs and careers. But all of you pretty ones won't have to worry about that, because you can marry a nice man. And that's why we have home EC.
Richard, aren't you going to invite me in?
Why?
Well, I thought maybe you would at least at-tempt to make love to me tonight.
Oh, well, uh, I can't. I left the oven on.
Oh, Richard, why can't you open your heart to me? Why?
I just... I can't. Oh, I know. I have genital warts. [he begins closing the door]
We'll use plastic wrap.
Nope. Sorry. Maybe some other time. [shuts the door on her face]
These quotes come from Wikiquote's South Park pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.


