DMr. Derp
Ain't I a great character? My antics go right to the funny bone!
“The Succubus” · Season 3, Episode 3
In this episode: Stan Marsh (2), Kyle Broflovski (2), Mr. Garrison (1), Kenny McCormick (1), Priest Maxi (1)
And never let poontang come between you and your friend!
CChef
Damn right, Garrison!
Excuse me, we're looking for Chef.
WAWoman at front desk
Chef?
He's a big guy with a beard.
And a chef's hat.
And a real huge dick.
WAWoman at front desk
Oh, the black guy.
huh?
CSChef's Father
Well, aren't you crackers just cute as the dickens?
You're Chef's parents?
CSChef's Mother
Yes, all his life.
[in a hurry] We have to talk to him!
CSChef's Father
Well, he should be out now directly.
CSChef's Mother
He's so excited about the wedding now.
CSChef's Father
Say, would you crackers like to hear about the time we saw the Loch Ness Monster?
No, that's okay.
CSChef's Father
Ooh, it must have been about seven, eight years ago. Me and the little lady was out on this boat, you see, all alone at night, when all of the sudden this huge creature, this giant crustacean from the Paleolithic Era, comes out of the water.
CSChef's Mother
We were so scared, Lord have mercy, I jumped up in the boat, and I said, "Thomas, what on Earth is that creature?"
CSChef's Father
It stood above us looking down with these big red eyes...
CSChef's Mother
Oh, it was so scary!
CSChef's Father
...and I yelled, I said, "What do you want from us, monster?" And the monster bent down, and said, "I need about tree-fiddy."
[long pause]
What's tree-fiddy?
CSChef's Father
Three dollars and fifty cents.
CSChef's Mother
Tree-fiddy.
He wanted money?
CSChef's Father
That's right. I said, "I ain't giving you no tree-fiddy, you goddamn Loch Ness Monster! Get your own goddamn money!"
CSChef's Mother
I gave him a dollar.
CSChef's Father
She gave him a dollar.
CSChef's Mother
I thought he'd go away if I gave him a dollar.
CSChef's Father
Well, of course he's not gonna go away, Mary! You give him a dollar, he's gonna assume you've got more!
Do you, Chef, take this woman as your lawful-wedded wife, to have and to-
CChef
I do!
CSChef's Mother
Aah, my baby's getting married!
And do you, Veronica, take Chef to be your daddy?
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