CCCrybaby Clown
You all know me. You know how I earn a living. I'm a bad clown. Stopping me ain't going to be easy. There's no string and a net to catching me like Mano Tiki Tia or Redbeard's ghost. This Crybaby Clown swallow your town whole. (chuckles) You want your tourism back? You're gonna pay me $5 million. For that, you get the pacifier, the rattle, the whole darn clown. So what's it going to be? Me, or Mystery Incorporated?
Well, it sounds like a good deal to me. I'll start passing the hat. So long, mystery goofs.
SScooby
Hold on, Clown! That is our town.
(chuckles nervously) That's right! And we don't need money to protect it. Although it would be nice-- (Velma hits him with elbow) Ow!
Freddie, I think it's trapping time.
Right, Velma! And I know the perfect g-- the perfect-- ah-- I-- guh!
I-- my trapping knowledge! It's gone! My mind is-- is empty!
CCCrybaby Clown
Wahh wahh. So tragic. Oh, well, I offered. (The door closes abruptly and the lights are shut off) Time's up, Crystal Cove.
Well, I think it's safe to say, if the town didn't hate us before. This should certainly do the trick.
(Fred feels disappointed)
SScooby
Freddie? Are you okay?
No, Scoob, I'm not. My trap failed, and for the first time, the bad guy got away. And it's my fault.
We're all responsible, Fred. We're a team, remember?
That's just it, Shaggy. We're not a team. Not without Daphne. And now I know... she's never coming back.
And now let's see who Crybaby Clown really is. (unmasks the Crybaby Clown)
SSScooby, Shaggy, Velma, Daphne, Hot Dog Water and Fred
Baylor Hotner!
BHBaylor Hotner
That's right-ner. Actor, humanitarian, guy with amazingly super awesome abs. I came here to Crystal Cove to research the part of a crazed clown for my upcoming blockbuster movie, "The Night the Clown Cried". It was gonna be my Oscar. Using my knowledge of Hollywood makeup and effects and a trick buggy I stole from the back lot, I honed my crazed clown performance to perfection. Then, I built my entourage: a therapist, a hairdresser, a plastic surgeon, and a publicist. Everything I needed to be a great actor. Of course, I put tracking chips in all of them because you have to know where your posse is at all times. I even had an innocent small-town girl that would make me look like the nicest guy. I had it all! And I would have been the world's greatest Hollywood thespian, too, if it hadn't have been for you small-town scene stealers.
(slaps Baylor) Small-town that, Baylor Hotner. These are my friends. Take him away, Sheriff.
(Sheriff Stone arrests Baylor)
Thanks, guys. You, uh, really saved me.
Um, you know, Daphne, you could come back to me... to the gang, I mean.
Really? I'd like that. Very much.
SScooby
(hugs Daphne) Hooray! Daphne's back. Group hug. (Fred, Velma, and Shaggy hug Daphne) Scooby-Dooby-Doo! And Daphne, too. (laughs)
He was stealing this wheel of old cheese.
Now let's see who the Hodag really is.
(Shaggy opens the cage and Velma unmasks Hodag)
Hold on. (unmasks Roberto's face)
FFussbuster
(heard in the balcony holding Nova over the edge) That's right. My monkey. Nobody moves or the dog gets it.
Mr. Fussbuster, please, don't hurt Nova. Why are you doing this?
FFussbuster
It all started back when I was a sailor working the trade boats in Indonesia. I learned you could train a monkey to steal. So that's just what I did. I trained Roberto using bells and used him to build up my fortune. When I rang a bell, he would start taking valuable objects. But he became bell crazy, started stealing bells, too. It drove me insane, all of those bells! And he not only brought home the bells, but whatever were attached to them. You don't know how many cats and cows and hunchbacks he brought home with him! But it was all worth it, as we were just about to steal the 500-year-old cheese you have in your hand.
FFussbuster
Yes. It was made right here in Crystal Cove by a master Spanish cheesemaker. It's priceless. And with its theft, I could have finally retired to the Netherlands, where they really enjoy cheese properly.
FFussbuster
Shepherd's security was unbreakable. I needed the key. Seemed the best way to get it. Now, toss the cheese up here and she won't get hurt. (Nova is whimpering)
SScooby
(growling, grabs the cheese) Here, Fussbuster. Fetch!
(Scooby throws the cheese to Fussbuster, Fussbuster tried to steal it but falls down to grass, and Scooby saves Nova)
(Next scene in the police car with Fussbuster and Roberto ringing the bell)
FFussbuster
(groaning) And I would have gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for those bells. The bells! The bells! (crying)
Let's see who's really behind all this junk. (grabs the TV head of Junk)
RWRandy Warsaw
I don't get it.
Wait for it. We discovered the strange paralysis of Eeko, Clio, and worker number one had been caused by a rare strand of brewers yeast. Used only in Bavaria. That allowed us to reverse the effect.
These guys have been frozen to recreate a picture by the famous Bavarian artist Albrecht von Cartofokauf. So we knew we were looking for someone German.
RWRandy Warsaw
I... I still don't get it.
Here's why Randy Warsaw. The real culprit is (grabs the head out of Junk) Butch Furbanks.
BButch
Fine, you got me. But don't expect my introspective personality to register guilt.
His real name is Hans van Shanengruber.
Before Butch joined "Sunday Around Noonish" he released an album of classical accordion music. It reached number one in the Bravarian hit parade. But soon fizzled.
Using powerful electro magnets, and his expert knowledge of musical instruments, Butch was able to control your junk sculpture and make it attack you.
Like the only thing we don't know is why?
BButch
Alright, look I did it for art.
RWRandy Warsaw
That can't be right, can it?
BButch
Okay, that's a lie. The truth is I hated what you made me in to. All I ever wanted to do was play polkas in a Bravarian Oompa band. A beautiful dream that I lived until I came to work for you, Randy Warsaw. You changed me. You transformed me. Molded me in to a dark band leader, playing and singing horrible intellectual music. You took everything from me. And I wanted to make you pay. Pay! And I would have gotten away with it, too, if it wasn't for you meddling polka haters. (Sheriff takes Butch into custody) (to Scooby) Oh and your singing stinks, nobody understands a word you're saying.
SScooby
That's outrageous!
RWRandy Warsaw
Well, thank you, Mystery Incorporated. You've saved modern art from the clutches of the boudoir. There's only one this left to say: I find you all horribly, horribly boring. So, get out of here. Shoo, shoo. Go away. (leaves)
SScooby
Uh, Mr. Warsaw, can I keep the wig?
How in the world did a ship get all the way up here?
Maybe this can tell us. It's the ship's manifest. The writing's in Español, but I aced honor's Spanish. I can translate. "I fear I may have doomed us all. After months of filling our hold... "
(In the flashback with narrating conquistador)
CConquistador
...with treasure, we were about to set sail when word was delivered of an even greater prize: a sarcophagus of the purest crystal, filled to the brim with black pearls of immense value. A king's ransom! The men and I were overtaken with a desire to find this great treasure. And after several months of searching, find it we did. What we didn't realize was that the Entity that dwelled inside that crystal sarcophagus had been searching for us as well. In our thirst for power and wealth, we had discovered a terrible evil. It preyed upon our fears, driving us to commit Horrible acts. Finally, in an act of desperation to stop what we had become, I set the ship ashore on the mission coast, in a cove we named after what we would soon bring there: Crystal Cove.
(Flashback interrupted)
Zoinks! Ha ha! Like, that means...
These are the conquistadors that founded our town!
The ones that disappeared!
(Flashback continues)
CConquistador
I used the arcanical Disco Planisférico, to map our location, and we buried the evil treasure deep, deep underground. Then, we broke the disk into 6 pieces and went our separate ways. I concealed my piece aboard the ship and artfully protected it by a large number of lethal mechanical devices. I brought the ship here, to the top of this mountain, to stay hidden forever.
(Flashback ends)
It's signed Fernando El Aguirre, captain of the "Santa Lucia" of Spain.
Jeepers! You know what this means? The fifth piece of the Planispheric Disk is right here on this ship!
Then let's find it and get out of here before that crazy chick shows up again! Hoo-hoo!
Well, gang, with the 3 pieces we have, the two pieces Pericles stole, that means there's--
SScooby
Just one more piece to go.
Yeah, and why do I get the feeling that even if we don't find number 6? It'll end up finding us.
(The gang drives away)
Looks like Hebediah Grim won't be judging anybody, now that we know he's really...
(Scooby and Daphne unmasks the 2 Hebediah Grims)
Yeah! We were, like, totally sneaky!
Not so totally, I'm afraid. The odd indentations in Hebediah Grim's footprints turned out to be soccer cleat marks. Gary's chat video was pre-recorded. I hacked your laptop and found the original recordings.
Two missing costumes meant there could be two Hebediah Grims.
Like, worst of all, you guys tried to frame Doogle McGuiness by putting a yearbook on his porch: Ethan's yearbook!
So judge that, you losers. (throws the yearbook hardly) Boo-yah! Who wants to judge me now? Huh? Who? You want to judge me? You? In your face! YEAH!
SScooby
Velma, you're scaring me.
The real question is, why? Why did you guys do it?
Duh. We wanted to terrify girls and then rescue them so they'd fall for us, just like the knights did in the old west before the dragons went away.
Yeah. Knights terrorize and save damsels to score dates with them all the time.
Huh. I never thought about it that way.
But why did you both dress up?
We don't trust each other. Tag-teaming was the only option.
And we would have gotten away with it if any of you mystery, stink losers had lives.
Now, let's see who's really behind all this Terrorwood smoke. (unmasks the Fiend)
That doesn't make any sense.
You seemed like the nicest guy.
DDan
It's this place. I can't take it! I've been here since I was born. My family's been caretakers of the Burlington Mansion, and then, the Burlington Library, for generations. I was born here, been here every day of my life, all alone up here on this mountain, tending this darn library! Where it always seemed to be snowing and I could never get warm. Never! I hate the cold. I hate the snow! But the library could never be closed. I never got a vacation, not one. I found out about the Terrorwood when I accidentally burned some. So I decided to use it to scare away anyone and everyone that came here. So eventually, no one would come anymore, and I could close the place forever and go someplace warm. And I would have done it, too, been somewhere warm by now, if it wasn't for you meddling snow-bound brats. (Next scene, outside of Burlington Library, Dan Fluunk is taken into custody by two deputies) I don't mind going to prison. Not one bit! At least I'll finally be someplace warm! (laughs hysterically)
(The gang arrives with Mystery Machine)
Cassidy! We heard about the explosion! Are you hurt?
(Cassidy shows her big shotgun)
(The gang gets down behind a big robot soldier, Cassidy shoots it)
Cassidy, what's going on?
Start with why there's a World War II-era robot on the ground.
Like, dude, why were you attacked by a robot?
Actually, I've been attacked by 6 robots. It started last week, and it's getting worse. I would have told you sooner, but you all don't trust me.
With good reason. You lied to us.
I hear you. But I've changed. Ask me anything, and I will tell you the truth.
OK. What's the story with you and Mr. E? Why did you help him?
(Another robot rises in the ocean)
Hold on, gang. Check this out. (picks up a small sea thing inside robot arm) Interesting. This is a Lassiter Gringol mollusk.
SScooby
Looks like a snail. Yecch!
It is a snail, Scooby, a rare sea snail, (a robot soldier sees the gang, preparing to attack) whose picky mollusk diet restricts it to a deep Costa marine trench, located right off Crystal Cove. These robots must have an underwater origin in that trench. (robot soldier arrives in front of the gang) Aaah!
RSRobot soldier
(speaks in German, tries to attack the gang but it's hit by an arrow and hits the wall)
SSkipper
Go back to the deep where you came from, you scurvy tin fish! You rusty scalawags are worse than sea rats! (to the gang) Sorry about that, kids. Free brine and cuttlefish on the house.
Gang, we need to get to that trench.
And I know someone who can get us there.
It's over, Miss October Pest. Call off the bots. (turns the chair and sees the corpse) Ugh!
Like, that is worse than robots.
SScooby
Did that thing... just whisper?
I heard it, too. It sounded like...
You think that was her name?
No. Her name was Frau Abigail Glück. She was part of the Benevolent Lodge of Mystery, the mystery-solving gang formed by Burlington in the 1880s. And when I got back from the Burlington Library, someone had pinned a picture of another mystery-solving group on my wall: The Darrow Family.
Including us and the original Mystery Incorporated? That makes 4 groups.
My guess-- there's more. Almost as if this has all happened before.
(Pericles and the Kriegstaffebots appear)
Exactly right. Mystery Incorporated.
EEveryone
Professor Pericles?
Ah! Lovely. I see you have met what's left of Frau Glück. I met Frau Glück in Bavaria in the 1930s. She discovered the missionaries possessed the fifth and the sixth pieces of the Planispheric Disk. She built this lab and a host of robots to aid her search for the pieces. I finally found this lab and continued the Frau's work, building a legion of her Kriegstaffebots to retrieve the pieces for me. My holographic masquerade as Frau Glück bought my bots all the time they needed. And I would have gotten away with eliminating Cassidy if it weren't for you meddling kids. Now that I have everything I need, I can dispose of this place and all of you at the same time. (takes the piece of the Planispheric Disk) Farewell, darling kinder. Farewell. (escapes the underwater lab in an escape capsule)
TTom
Don't worry. She's here somewhere.
(The seal Scooby appears in the water, calling the gang)
Look, gang. He's holding something.
(The seal Scooby shows the broken helmet)
Ah! (The gang is sad) Oh no! No, Fred. (cries)
Easy, Daphne. I'm sure she got out. Right, guys?
I guess maybe... we were wrong about Cassidy.
Scooby-Doo! Mystery Incorporated · 255 quotes
