Scooby quotes from Scooby-Doo! Mystery Incorporated

Daphne

We've got a great look for everyone!

Shaggy

Does mine involve wearing a skirt and lipstick?

Daphne

No...

Shaggy

Awesome!

Daphne

But Scooby's does!

It's not fair!

I am the goddess of love! Bow at the feet of Aphrodite!

Velma

I think you mean Amanda. (unmasks Aphrodite) Amanda Smythe?

Oh, you think you're so smart. Do you know how it feels to be humiliated? Me, the smartest and most gifted student in the history of Crystal Cove, laughed at by everyone in this school.

Velma

Well, actually...

You know nothing! They had promised me I would be prom queen, but instead they pulled a hideous mask over my face: The face of a monster. They ridiculed me. I left Crystal Cove that night, but I promised that someday I would return. I had always been good at chemistry, so when I stumbled on the formula for an artificial pheromone that could make people lose their minds with love, I knew I would have my revenge.

Daphne

Why? You're pretty now.

The scars run deep. I would reclaim the crown that was rightly mine, then I would destroy this town the way it destroyed me. My plan was genius! And I would have succeeded, too, if it wasn't for your olfactory-challenged sidekicks. (The deputies arrest Amanda)

Pericles

I am no one's sidekick.

You said it.

Shaggy

Well, Scooby Doo, like, you saved the day.

And Pericles, too.

Daphne

I guess even a diabolical and criminal bird can change his evil in malevolent ways.

(appears) Highly doubtful.

(nervously) Who--who are you?

I am an associate of Mr. E. Pericles left him a message that you should hear. (plays the recorded tape)

Pericles

It was I who gave Aphrodite the secret formula. Once that was accomplished, I could go after the real ingredients I needed to find. First, an ancient conquistador's ship manifest. Next, a stone piercing industrial-grade diamond drill bit. And finally, the geological reports from the Darrow Mining Company. Your move, Mr. E. (The tape ends)

Shaggy

Okay, can I get a teeny little time-out here? What does any of that stuff have to do with anything?

The curse of the haunted treasure, an ancient fortune left behind by the conquistadors that first settled this area. Legend has it that it is buried somewhere deep beneath us, and it now appears that Pericles is on the verge of discovering it. (Everyone gasp) And if he does, it could well mean the end of Crystal Cove. (walks away)

Way to go, gang. Who's been served now, huh?

I won't deny it, you are a worthy opponent.

Gee, thanks. You're not bad yourself.

Was that a gage burrow strategy you used back there?

You recognized it? You know, I thought at first I'd go with the Orpheus proposition, but I didn't have any milk.

Velma

(interrupts Fred) Excuse me. Sorry to interrupt, but what's the big idea trying to kill us? And what's with this thing?

My treasure! I thought you had returned to steal it.

Daphne

Returned? I think you have us confused with the original Mystery Inc.

Say, now that you mention it, you don't look anything like I remember you. Especially that parrot over there.

Thank you.

I've made a terrible, terrible mistake. What has become of me? I suppose it started that Halloween night. My family came upon a mysterious artifact, a key to finding the great cursed treasure rumored to lie beneath Crystal Cove. It corrupted us with greed. I had just gotten my hands on it when the earth shook and swallowed our entire house. My loved ones grew old and passed all around me, but I hardly even noticed. Then, those meddling kids showed up. They were after my treasure. I knew it! So I spied on them. And I booby-trapped the whole house in ways that would prey upon their weaknesses. Eh, but they left.

Daphne

So you've been waiting for them to come back all this time?

Truth be told, I kind of lost track. Has it really been that long? How do I look? Haven't let myself go, have I?

Uh, no.

You look fine.

Daphne

I love what you've done with your hair.

My whole life has been a waste. (sits in the chair, dodges the booby-trap arrow launched by crossbow and laughs) That's one of my earlier models.

Shaggy

What's going on?

All those traps going off must have awaken the area's fault line. (falls on the floor broken in half)

Quick, grab my hand!

Don't worry about me! (The gang watches the ceiling breaking outside) Now's your chance for escape.

Velma

But your treasure?

(last words) Keep it! And may it bring you more happiness than it ever brought me. (The ceiling is still breaking, the light shines outside) Now, through that crevice before it's too late!

Daphne

After all that, he saved us.

Velma

Or did we save him?

Shaggy

Yeah. Like, he did say this wedge was...

Cursed.

Whatever it is, it's our responsibility now. The question is, are there other pieces out there? And if there are, who else is looking for them?

Ta-da! The Brownberger B-41. It's the trapper's trap.

Mayor Jones

(arrives) Spicy giblet ponies, Fred! Why do you have a geisha tied up in here? You know they belong downtown in Crystal Cove's geisha house of terror.

He's not a geisha, dad. He's a wizard. Or at least that's who he's pretending to be...

Mr. Wang?

Big surprise.

Mayor Jones

What?! Wang?! Why?!

I've searched for the dragon's heart all my life. I tracked it to your silly little town, and it was almost mine. Mine!

Mai Le

You won't be needing these anymore. (takes the 4 rings off of Mr. Wang)

Daphne

Now it all makes sense. Mr. Wang used his supposed research trip to Crystal Cove as an excuse to hunt for the dragon's heart. When he saw that Mai Le was wearing the fourth dragon ring, he knew he was close. Mr. Wang posed as the evil White Kung Fu Wizard to steal the fourth dragon ring from Mai Le, but Chen pretended to be a Red Wizard in an effort to stop him.

Velma

After the wizard battle downtown, Mr. Wang came to my house in one last effort to get the ring.

Shaggy

But how did he make himself fly?

Oh, the same way I did, (takes the White Wizard costume off of Mr. Wang) jetpack.

Oh! Of course.

Daphne

And the magic lightning bolts?

Velma

(shows Mr. Wang's hand) Homemade Tesla coils. Genius!

It was the perfect plan. That ruby is priceless. I was going to be rich! And I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for you--

(masks Mr. Wang with the White Wizard's head) Save it, Wang. We've heard it all before.

Mai Le

(in a Fred's trap) Let me down, you idiots!

You okay, Shaggy?

Shaggy

Was everything about you a lie? Like, even us?

Mai Le

Sorry, dude.

Velma

He's too good for you, dog issues or no dog issues.

Mai Le

I still don't know what that means.

I would like to see who's been holding me captive all this time. (unmasks the one Fish Freak)

Daphne

Ernesto?

Hello, comrade Daphne and her fellow comrade mystery-solving teenagers. (The other 3 Fish Freaks unmask themselves)

Daphne

But aren't you against all this anti-environment stuff?

Funny you should ask. It all started when we were doing a little research into our old foe Destroido. We were going through their trash when we ran across some very interesting information: Dr. Cavanaugh's report on this giant oil deposit off Dead Man's Point. We came up with a plan to make enough money to fund our various protests. We were gonna drill for the oil ourselves and sell it.

You were doing this for cash?

You have no idea how expensive it is to be a grassroots activist! After we found the location of the oil platform, all we had to do was scare off anyone who started nosing into our business. And we would have, too, if that meddling mermaid had kept her fin to herself and never contacted you.

Velma

Hold on. Are you telling us that you were going to cause a major environmental disaster in order to get the cash to protest against major environmental disasters?

Yes! You must be willing to kill the environment to save it.

Uhh... no. I don't think that's right.

Daphne

Look at that! Are Manticores double-jointed?

Velma

This is no Manticore, Daphne. This is... (unmasks the Manticore)

Hot Dog Water?

Velma

Just as I suspected. It totally makes sense when you put the clues together. Someone with computer skills had to make that fake website, and Hot Dog Water has those skills. And remember, just before the Manticore attacked, I smelled something familiar. It was briny, greasy hot dog water. (to Hot Dog Water) But what I don't know is why Shaggy and Scooby had such high voices after you attacked them before, or why you'd want this amusement park to close so badly.

How could you know? Your intellect is so far inferior to mine. (takes off the Manticore's outfit) It all started on a boring Friday night when I didn't have a date.

Velma

Hard to imagine.

I decided to run some experiments on the steel used to build the park's rides. I found that if you melted the steel down and combined it with chromium, stalagmite, and mercury phosphate, it created a kind of super helium. Shaggy and Scooby must have inhaled some helium gas from the Manticore's posterior relief hole. That's why their voices were so high. I figured if I could get the park to close, I could take all the steel, melt it down, and sell the super helium to the Australian zeppelin fleet. I'd have made a fortune and shown you up in the process, Velma.

Daphne

Another mystery solved.

It still seems like something's missing.

(reads) "Meddling kids and their dog will foil your plan".

Yep. That would be it.

Oof. Eahhh! Wood gets older than kindle!

Nice to see you again... (unmasks the Shadowy Figure)

Professor Pericles.

Pericles

Well, hello, children. How did you know?

Velma

Simple. There's only one brain large enough, beside my own, that could have pulled this off. We found the trojan horse program you put on Fred's laptop that let you control all of Fred's traps remotely.

Pericles

Fred really should have come up with a more secure password than "trappin' guy".

Shaggy

Once you had control of the traps, it was like totally simple to simulate a haunting and terrify the Mayor.

Velma

And your avian attributes provided the means to make your spooky shadow creep float like a real ghost.

Daphne

Too bad for you your avian diet gave you away.

Pericles

Oh, what can I say? A bird's got to eat.

It still doesn't explain where my dad is, and why you were haunting him.

Pericles

Why do you think? I wanted his piece of the Planispheric Disk, of course. I knew he would have it close. I just didn't know where. So I decided to scare it out of him.

(looks at the mysterious piece) Planispheric Disk? (to Pericles) But how did you know he had it in the first place?

Pericles

Because, dear friend, he stole it from me a long time ago. (the gang is confused) Don't believe me? Ask him yourself. (takes off the Shadowy Figure costume and pushes the remote control's button that changes the stairs to slide, Fred unhands the piece of the Planispheric Disk and the gang falls down to the basement) (takes the piece #1 of the Planispheric Disk) I am the smartest criminal parrot in the world! You didn't think I have a back-up plan? (laughs) Until we meet again. Auf wiedersehen, Mystery Incorporated. (flies away)

Did you know we were standing on a trap?

(grabs Daphne) Honestly, there's so many in this house, I've kinda lost track.

Shaggy

Zoinks! Another ghost!

Dad! (releases Daphne and uncovers the sheet) You're okay!

Mayor Jones

Dimpled puppet eggs, Fred! I am clearly not okay. Untie me.

(unties his dad) Dad, the house wasn't haunted at all. It was Professor Pericles.

Mayor Jones

Pericles? Are you sure? Did he get the--?

Daphne

Planispheric Disk? Yeah. He said you stole it from him.

Mayor Jones

That's... that's absurd! We confiscated it off him years ago, when we locked him up. I've felt it was best to keep it here, safe. That's why I went back in for it.

Velma

Mayor Jones, why would Professor Pericles want that piece of the Disk so badly?

Mayor Jones

Oof! Ha! Ha! How should I know? Are you kids trying to imply something? Because if you are--

No, no, dad. We're just all really happy you're okay. That's what's important, right, gang? This mystery is over. (hugs Mayor Jones)

Daphne

I'm not sure this mystery is over at all.

Velma

Time to reveal who Dead Justice really is. (unmasks Dead Justice)

Deputy Bucky?

Sheriff Stone

What? Bucky, you were like a father to me!

You're 20 years older than me!

Sheriff Stone

There's no proof of that. Why'd you do it?

Velma

Sheriff, I think we can explain.

Daphne

Bucky was tired of being just a deputy. He craved the power and prestige of the Sheriff's office.

Bucky failed every one of his promotion exams. But it wasn't just his grades that got me thinking.

Shaggy

Like, Bucky's a doodler, and his drawings looked an awful lot like Dead Justice's demon bullets.

Velma

Bucky disguised himself as the Ghost of Dead Justice and chased down the town's most wanted.

Daphne

He knew nothing would hurt Sheriff Stone more than losing his job to his hero.

The only thing I don't understand is how he created those bullets.

CGI. It's all CGI these days. I programmed a laser pointer to simulate the animation.

Sheriff Stone

Much as I hate to admit it, I owe you kids one. (Fred puts his hand on Sheriff's shoulder but he lets it go)

Now, Regina, time to come clean and reveal that you're-- (unmasks The Obliteratrix)

Alice May?

Who's Alice May?

Daphne

She once pretended to be a Ghost Girl to kidnap Fred for her man posse because she wanted revenge for her father, the Creeper.

Shaggy

But, like, how did you get out of jail?

I got out with the help of the same person who sent me to destroy you... Mr. E!

Huh?

Angel Dynamite

Huh?

E enlisted my services to put you kids in danger in hopes of drawing out his enemy, Professor Pericles. He figured if Pericles thought you were in trouble, he'd come to your rescue. E knew if he could get Pericles to reveal himself, it'd leave his piece of the Planispheric Disk vulnerable. Everything was fake. Special effects.

Shaggy

But, like, where'd you get all the high-tech stuff? How'd you disappear?

E took care of that. It was all courtesy of one of Destroido's shell corporations: Quest Research Laboratories. They supplied me with everything I needed: Weapons, a high-tech cloaking device, even the effects.

Angel Dynamite

(handcuffs Alice) So this was all staged by Mr. E to use the kids as parrot bait.

That's right. And it would have worked, too, if I hadn't been stopped by you, Miss meddling sassy pants! (Next scene in the police car with Sheriff Stone and Alice May arrested)

Sheriff Stone

Wait, so are you telling me that you escaped from prison months ago, and I never noticed? (laughs) I don't think so. (drives away)

Well, Angel, it looks like we owe you one.

Yeah. You saved our tails.

Daphne

How'd you know where we were?

Velma

It's time, Angel. I can't keep this secret anymore.

Angel Dynamite

I wanted to tell you kids earlier, but I was afraid.

Afraid of what?

Angel Dynamite

Of telling you the truth. My real name isn't Angel Dynamite. It's Cassidy Williams. I'm one of the original members of Mystery Incorporated that disappeared.

What?

It was all an accident. We should have never been in that condemned church. But Brad said he'd seen someone coming and going at night, and he wanted to investigate. We thought we'd found a treasure map, but it wasn't treasure; it was a threat, to not just our lives but the lives of our families. The thing in those caves forced us to leave Crystal Cove, or those who loved us would pay the price. (Shaggy and Scooby are terrified)

Shaggy

L-l-like, who threatened you?

He called himself the Freak. The Freak of Crystal Cove. There, now you know the truth. That's what happened to the original Mystery Incorporated, and it will happen to all of you if you don't stop! Forget about the Planispheric Disk. Give Pericles your piece, or Mr. E. I don't care. The mystery is over. Let it end tonight!

You lied to us, Angel. You've been lying to us from the beginning. Why should we listen to anything you have to say to us now? This mystery isn't over until we say it's over. Come on, gang.

No. No, you don't understand. He's still out there. (The gang drives away) The Freak is still out there!

Dad, I'm sorry. We just...

Mayor Jones

Uh, uh, uh. I can't hear you. My ears are too clogged with disappointment.

[to Daphne] You are forbidden to see the Jones boy ever again.

Daphne

What?! Mom, dad, you can't do that! Just listen for a second! Fred and I are engaged!

YOU'RE WHAT?!

Daphne

Engaged. So you can't split us apart. Right, Fred? Fred?

What? Oh, uh... right! I love Daphne. She's the most important thing in my life, besides the gang, mystery-solving, traps, my dad... truthfully, it's a five-way tie.

Daphne

[groans] We're getting married as soon as we graduate.

Nan

[gasps and drops Barty and points to Mayor Jones] This is your fault, Mystery Incorporated is over!

Daphne

Fred!

Daphne!

Daphne

Freddy!

NO! [whispers as Mayor Jones pulls him away] Shaggy, Scooby, guard the disk piece in your room. Velma...

Velma

[grabs scroll and hides it behind her back] I'm already on it.