Daphne quotes from Scooby-Doo! Mystery Incorporated

I would like to see who's been holding me captive all this time. (unmasks the one Fish Freak)

Daphne

Ernesto?

Hello, comrade Daphne and her fellow comrade mystery-solving teenagers. (The other 3 Fish Freaks unmask themselves)

Daphne

But aren't you against all this anti-environment stuff?

Funny you should ask. It all started when we were doing a little research into our old foe Destroido. We were going through their trash when we ran across some very interesting information: Dr. Cavanaugh's report on this giant oil deposit off Dead Man's Point. We came up with a plan to make enough money to fund our various protests. We were gonna drill for the oil ourselves and sell it.

You were doing this for cash?

You have no idea how expensive it is to be a grassroots activist! After we found the location of the oil platform, all we had to do was scare off anyone who started nosing into our business. And we would have, too, if that meddling mermaid had kept her fin to herself and never contacted you.

Velma

Hold on. Are you telling us that you were going to cause a major environmental disaster in order to get the cash to protest against major environmental disasters?

Yes! You must be willing to kill the environment to save it.

Uhh... no. I don't think that's right.

Daphne

Look at that! Are Manticores double-jointed?

Velma

This is no Manticore, Daphne. This is... (unmasks the Manticore)

Hot Dog Water?

Velma

Just as I suspected. It totally makes sense when you put the clues together. Someone with computer skills had to make that fake website, and Hot Dog Water has those skills. And remember, just before the Manticore attacked, I smelled something familiar. It was briny, greasy hot dog water. (to Hot Dog Water) But what I don't know is why Shaggy and Scooby had such high voices after you attacked them before, or why you'd want this amusement park to close so badly.

How could you know? Your intellect is so far inferior to mine. (takes off the Manticore's outfit) It all started on a boring Friday night when I didn't have a date.

Velma

Hard to imagine.

I decided to run some experiments on the steel used to build the park's rides. I found that if you melted the steel down and combined it with chromium, stalagmite, and mercury phosphate, it created a kind of super helium. Shaggy and Scooby must have inhaled some helium gas from the Manticore's posterior relief hole. That's why their voices were so high. I figured if I could get the park to close, I could take all the steel, melt it down, and sell the super helium to the Australian zeppelin fleet. I'd have made a fortune and shown you up in the process, Velma.

Daphne

Another mystery solved.

It still seems like something's missing.

(reads) "Meddling kids and their dog will foil your plan".

Yep. That would be it.

Sheriff Stone

What in the name of kettle corn is going on? I thought you said he (Cachinga) was the creature.

Daphne

Sorry we had to trick you, Sheriff, but we needed everyone to believe it was Cachinga (Fred deactivates the trap) so we could set a trap for the person who's really behind this.

(gasps)

Rick Spartan

Marion!

Sheriff Stone

But how did you know that she'd attack? I don't get that!

We knew that if Dr. Spartan found out that the curse was fake he'd want to go back to living a life of adventure in the jungle.

Velma

A life she definitely didn't want.

(annoyed) Fine. I admit it.

Sheriff Stone

Well, you kind of have to. We caught you in the costume. But how--how did you know it was her?

We found this ring at the botanical gardens. A woman's ring. (to Marion) You went to Oxford, too, didn't you?

Yes. (puts the ring on her finger)

Rick Spartan

But, Marion, why did you do it?

Because I love you! Because I hate living in the jungle. It's icky. I decided if I couldn't convince you to give up that life, I'd scare you out of it. I came up with the fake legend of Sklar Gringat. I forged an ancient map to the ruins and put it someplace you'd find it. I knew you wouldn't be able to resist the challenge. You would be so consumed with finding your next great treasure, you wouldn't be thinking of me, as usual. I pretended to break my ankle because I knew you'd send Cachinga for help and go up into the ruins by yourself. And when you did, my plan fell into place. It gave me a chance to sneak around the back of the ruins, which were actually an old abandoned movie set. The Headless Horror costume was the final piece of the puzzle. I had it specially designed and took months of pilates to train my abdominal muscles to the point where I could control the mouth with my abs.

Rick Spartan

But the shrunken head... It talked to me.

I got it at a Halloween store. You can record whatever you want it to say. I'm sorry, darling. I never meant to hurt you. I just wanted us to live a normal life. Which we could have if it weren't for those meddling sycophants. Can you ever forgive me?

Rick Spartan

Sure, I do, baby. I know I'm not the easiest guy to live with. You were just trying to get through to me. Don't worry, we'll work it out. (He and Marion kiss) Sheriff, I don't want to press any charges.

Sheriff Stone

Yeah, I, uh, figured.

Rick Spartan

Take me back to my room?

Anything.

Rick Spartan

Cachinga, come.

(leaves the police car with the spear) Thank you. It's been lovely.

Oof. Eahhh! Wood gets older than kindle!

Nice to see you again... (unmasks the Shadowy Figure)

Professor Pericles.

Pericles

Well, hello, children. How did you know?

Velma

Simple. There's only one brain large enough, beside my own, that could have pulled this off. We found the trojan horse program you put on Fred's laptop that let you control all of Fred's traps remotely.

Pericles

Fred really should have come up with a more secure password than "trappin' guy".

Shaggy

Once you had control of the traps, it was like totally simple to simulate a haunting and terrify the Mayor.

Velma

And your avian attributes provided the means to make your spooky shadow creep float like a real ghost.

Daphne

Too bad for you your avian diet gave you away.

Pericles

Oh, what can I say? A bird's got to eat.

It still doesn't explain where my dad is, and why you were haunting him.

Pericles

Why do you think? I wanted his piece of the Planispheric Disk, of course. I knew he would have it close. I just didn't know where. So I decided to scare it out of him.

(looks at the mysterious piece) Planispheric Disk? (to Pericles) But how did you know he had it in the first place?

Pericles

Because, dear friend, he stole it from me a long time ago. (the gang is confused) Don't believe me? Ask him yourself. (takes off the Shadowy Figure costume and pushes the remote control's button that changes the stairs to slide, Fred unhands the piece of the Planispheric Disk and the gang falls down to the basement) (takes the piece #1 of the Planispheric Disk) I am the smartest criminal parrot in the world! You didn't think I have a back-up plan? (laughs) Until we meet again. Auf wiedersehen, Mystery Incorporated. (flies away)

Did you know we were standing on a trap?

(grabs Daphne) Honestly, there's so many in this house, I've kinda lost track.

Shaggy

Zoinks! Another ghost!

Dad! (releases Daphne and uncovers the sheet) You're okay!

Mayor Jones

Dimpled puppet eggs, Fred! I am clearly not okay. Untie me.

(unties his dad) Dad, the house wasn't haunted at all. It was Professor Pericles.

Mayor Jones

Pericles? Are you sure? Did he get the--?

Daphne

Planispheric Disk? Yeah. He said you stole it from him.

Mayor Jones

That's... that's absurd! We confiscated it off him years ago, when we locked him up. I've felt it was best to keep it here, safe. That's why I went back in for it.

Velma

Mayor Jones, why would Professor Pericles want that piece of the Disk so badly?

Mayor Jones

Oof! Ha! Ha! How should I know? Are you kids trying to imply something? Because if you are--

No, no, dad. We're just all really happy you're okay. That's what's important, right, gang? This mystery is over. (hugs Mayor Jones)

Daphne

I'm not sure this mystery is over at all.

Velma

Time to reveal who Dead Justice really is. (unmasks Dead Justice)

Deputy Bucky?

Sheriff Stone

What? Bucky, you were like a father to me!

You're 20 years older than me!

Sheriff Stone

There's no proof of that. Why'd you do it?

Velma

Sheriff, I think we can explain.

Daphne

Bucky was tired of being just a deputy. He craved the power and prestige of the Sheriff's office.

Bucky failed every one of his promotion exams. But it wasn't just his grades that got me thinking.

Shaggy

Like, Bucky's a doodler, and his drawings looked an awful lot like Dead Justice's demon bullets.

Velma

Bucky disguised himself as the Ghost of Dead Justice and chased down the town's most wanted.

Daphne

He knew nothing would hurt Sheriff Stone more than losing his job to his hero.

The only thing I don't understand is how he created those bullets.

CGI. It's all CGI these days. I programmed a laser pointer to simulate the animation.

Sheriff Stone

Much as I hate to admit it, I owe you kids one. (Fred puts his hand on Sheriff's shoulder but he lets it go)

Mayor Jones

(gives an award to Sheriff Stone) People of Crystal Cove, there's a new old new Sheriff in town.

Sheriff Stone

Thanks, Mayor Jones. And... Thanks for giving me a raise.

Mayor Jones

Raise? What raise? An hour ago, your job was free. Don't think I won't find another undead lawman if I have to.

Sheriff Stone

(laughs) You're joking, right?

You know, dad, Bucky would have gotten away with it if it hadn't have been for us meddling kids. Maybe a little thank you might be, uh...

Mayor Jones

Uh, that's great, Fred. Listen, I'm late for a work meeting. (leaves)

But work's that way. (Daphne arrives) Why do I even bother?

Daphne

(accompanies Fred) He cares, Fred, in his own way.

Now, Regina, time to come clean and reveal that you're-- (unmasks The Obliteratrix)

Alice May?

Who's Alice May?

Daphne

She once pretended to be a Ghost Girl to kidnap Fred for her man posse because she wanted revenge for her father, the Creeper.

Shaggy

But, like, how did you get out of jail?

I got out with the help of the same person who sent me to destroy you... Mr. E!

Huh?

Angel Dynamite

Huh?

E enlisted my services to put you kids in danger in hopes of drawing out his enemy, Professor Pericles. He figured if Pericles thought you were in trouble, he'd come to your rescue. E knew if he could get Pericles to reveal himself, it'd leave his piece of the Planispheric Disk vulnerable. Everything was fake. Special effects.

Shaggy

But, like, where'd you get all the high-tech stuff? How'd you disappear?

E took care of that. It was all courtesy of one of Destroido's shell corporations: Quest Research Laboratories. They supplied me with everything I needed: Weapons, a high-tech cloaking device, even the effects.

Angel Dynamite

(handcuffs Alice) So this was all staged by Mr. E to use the kids as parrot bait.

That's right. And it would have worked, too, if I hadn't been stopped by you, Miss meddling sassy pants! (Next scene in the police car with Sheriff Stone and Alice May arrested)

Sheriff Stone

Wait, so are you telling me that you escaped from prison months ago, and I never noticed? (laughs) I don't think so. (drives away)

Well, gang, another mystery solved.

Daphne

I just wish we could have done something about your job, Professor Hatecraft.

(arrives with car) H.P.? Yoo-hoo! Oh, there you are, you dear man.

Don't worry, Dean Fenk. I'm on my way to clean out my office now.

Clean out your office? Oh, never. Heh! Haven't you heard the wonderful news? The song "Char Gar Gothakon", based on your novel, is a huge hit in Japan. And since Darrow College published the book, we're gonna make a fortune! (Professor Hatecraft is amazingly surprised) Now, I'm giving you Regina's old office Vampire books are so done and I'm having the dusk mobile repainted. (she and Professor Hatecraft drive away)

Well, Angel, it looks like we owe you one.

Yeah. You saved our tails.

Daphne

How'd you know where we were?

Velma

It's time, Angel. I can't keep this secret anymore.

Angel Dynamite

I wanted to tell you kids earlier, but I was afraid.

Afraid of what?

Angel Dynamite

Of telling you the truth. My real name isn't Angel Dynamite. It's Cassidy Williams. I'm one of the original members of Mystery Incorporated that disappeared.

What?

It was all an accident. We should have never been in that condemned church. But Brad said he'd seen someone coming and going at night, and he wanted to investigate. We thought we'd found a treasure map, but it wasn't treasure; it was a threat, to not just our lives but the lives of our families. The thing in those caves forced us to leave Crystal Cove, or those who loved us would pay the price. (Shaggy and Scooby are terrified)

Shaggy

L-l-like, who threatened you?

He called himself the Freak. The Freak of Crystal Cove. There, now you know the truth. That's what happened to the original Mystery Incorporated, and it will happen to all of you if you don't stop! Forget about the Planispheric Disk. Give Pericles your piece, or Mr. E. I don't care. The mystery is over. Let it end tonight!

You lied to us, Angel. You've been lying to us from the beginning. Why should we listen to anything you have to say to us now? This mystery isn't over until we say it's over. Come on, gang.

No. No, you don't understand. He's still out there. (The gang drives away) The Freak is still out there!

Dad, I'm sorry. We just...

Mayor Jones

Uh, uh, uh. I can't hear you. My ears are too clogged with disappointment.

[to Daphne] You are forbidden to see the Jones boy ever again.

Daphne

What?! Mom, dad, you can't do that! Just listen for a second! Fred and I are engaged!

YOU'RE WHAT?!

Daphne

Engaged. So you can't split us apart. Right, Fred? Fred?

What? Oh, uh... right! I love Daphne. She's the most important thing in my life, besides the gang, mystery-solving, traps, my dad... truthfully, it's a five-way tie.

Daphne

[groans] We're getting married as soon as we graduate.

Nan

[gasps and drops Barty and points to Mayor Jones] This is your fault, Mystery Incorporated is over!

Daphne

Fred!

Daphne!

Daphne

Freddy!

NO! [whispers as Mayor Jones pulls him away] Shaggy, Scooby, guard the disk piece in your room. Velma...

Velma

[grabs scroll and hides it behind her back] I'm already on it.

And now let's see who Crybaby Clown really is. (unmasks the Crybaby Clown)

Baylor Hotner!

That's right-ner. Actor, humanitarian, guy with amazingly super awesome abs. I came here to Crystal Cove to research the part of a crazed clown for my upcoming blockbuster movie, "The Night the Clown Cried". It was gonna be my Oscar. Using my knowledge of Hollywood makeup and effects and a trick buggy I stole from the back lot, I honed my crazed clown performance to perfection. Then, I built my entourage: a therapist, a hairdresser, a plastic surgeon, and a publicist. Everything I needed to be a great actor. Of course, I put tracking chips in all of them because you have to know where your posse is at all times. I even had an innocent small-town girl that would make me look like the nicest guy. I had it all! And I would have been the world's greatest Hollywood thespian, too, if it hadn't have been for you small-town scene stealers.

Daphne

(slaps Baylor) Small-town that, Baylor Hotner. These are my friends. Take him away, Sheriff.

Daphne

Thanks, guys. You, uh, really saved me.

Shaggy

Like, you're one of us.

Um, you know, Daphne, you could come back to me... to the gang, I mean.

Daphne

Really? I'd like that. Very much.

(hugs Daphne) Hooray! Daphne's back. Group hug. (Fred, Velma, and Shaggy hug Daphne) Scooby-Dooby-Doo! And Daphne, too. (laughs)

He was stealing this wheel of old cheese.

Velma

Now let's see who the Hodag really is.

Roberto!

Where's my Nova?

Velma

Hold on. (unmasks Roberto's face)

A monkey?

(heard in the balcony holding Nova over the edge) That's right. My monkey. Nobody moves or the dog gets it.

Nova!

Daphne

Mr. Fussbuster, please, don't hurt Nova. Why are you doing this?

It all started back when I was a sailor working the trade boats in Indonesia. I learned you could train a monkey to steal. So that's just what I did. I trained Roberto using bells and used him to build up my fortune. When I rang a bell, he would start taking valuable objects. But he became bell crazy, started stealing bells, too. It drove me insane, all of those bells! And he not only brought home the bells, but whatever were attached to them. You don't know how many cats and cows and hunchbacks he brought home with him! But it was all worth it, as we were just about to steal the 500-year-old cheese you have in your hand.

500-year-old cheese?

Yes. It was made right here in Crystal Cove by a master Spanish cheesemaker. It's priceless. And with its theft, I could have finally retired to the Netherlands, where they really enjoy cheese properly.

Velma

But why the Hodag?

Shepherd's security was unbreakable. I needed the key. Seemed the best way to get it. Now, toss the cheese up here and she won't get hurt. (Nova is whimpering)

(growling, grabs the cheese) Here, Fussbuster. Fetch!

(groaning) And I would have gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for those bells. The bells! The bells! (crying)

Velma

Let's see who's really behind all this junk. (grabs the TV head of Junk)

I don't get it.

Daphne

Wait for it. We discovered the strange paralysis of Eeko, Clio, and worker number one had been caused by a rare strand of brewers yeast. Used only in Bavaria. That allowed us to reverse the effect.

Velma

These guys have been frozen to recreate a picture by the famous Bavarian artist Albrecht von Cartofokauf. So we knew we were looking for someone German.

I... I still don't get it.

Daphne

Here's why Randy Warsaw. The real culprit is (grabs the head out of Junk) Butch Furbanks.

Fine, you got me. But don't expect my introspective personality to register guilt.

Daphne

His real name is Hans van Shanengruber.

Velma

Before Butch joined "Sunday Around Noonish" he released an album of classical accordion music. It reached number one in the Bravarian hit parade. But soon fizzled.

Using powerful electro magnets, and his expert knowledge of musical instruments, Butch was able to control your junk sculpture and make it attack you.

Shaggy

Like the only thing we don't know is why?

Alright, look I did it for art.

That can't be right, can it?

Okay, that's a lie. The truth is I hated what you made me in to. All I ever wanted to do was play polkas in a Bravarian Oompa band. A beautiful dream that I lived until I came to work for you, Randy Warsaw. You changed me. You transformed me. Molded me in to a dark band leader, playing and singing horrible intellectual music. You took everything from me. And I wanted to make you pay. Pay! And I would have gotten away with it, too, if it wasn't for you meddling polka haters. (Sheriff takes Butch into custody) (to Scooby) Oh and your singing stinks, nobody understands a word you're saying.

That's outrageous!

Well, thank you, Mystery Incorporated. You've saved modern art from the clutches of the boudoir. There's only one this left to say: I find you all horribly, horribly boring. So, get out of here. Shoo, shoo. Go away. (leaves)

Uh, Mr. Warsaw, can I keep the wig?