Jessie quotes from Saved by the Bell

Yeah. Too bad you're just a chick.

Jessie

Just a chick? Just a CHICK?! (punches Eric right in the face)

I can't believe you just did that!

Jessie

C'mon! Want more?! You know, I was really excited about you coming here. I never had a brother, and I thought we could have fun! Be close and do things together. I tried to make us like a real family, but you wouldn't even give it a chance! And you know what? I don't want a brother anymore. (she storms out of the room)

Jessie

Ms. Billingham, is the only reason you want me now is because Harvard wants me, too?

Well, Ms. Spano, we are the "Harvard of the West."

Jessie

Well Ms. Billingham, thanks, but no thanks. If Stansbury is that hypocritical, then they'll just have to do without Jessica Spano.

Slater

AND, without A.C. Slater.

Kelly

AND, it's Stansbury's loss!

Screech

Do you have any brochures I can look at, so I--- (Kelly yanks him by the collar)

I love Leslie, and she loves me.

Jessie

But, there's so many other women.

Jessie, I'm your father, and I'll always love you. You're growing up, and soon, you'll have your own life. I want my own life, too. I'm marrying Leslie, and that's final.

Jessie

Then I won't be there to see it.

Jessie

Ok, who's up next to take a picture with Santa? Tommy, you're back.

My mom wanted me to apologize to you.

Jessie

Aww, that's nice.

I'm sorry...you ugly old bat! (runs away)

Jessie

You little brat!!

Screech

Lisa, don't drink that! (Lisa spits out her water) It might be poison!

Lisa

You're right. (to Screech) You drink it. (hands the glass of water to Screech)

Screech

(sips the water) Hm. Tastes fine to me; I'll live!

Darn!

Zack

Look, the chemistry lab is for student use. Well, we're students. So, we're using them.

Jessie

You really believe that, don't you, Zack?

Lisa

Oh, please. You're going gaga over something that burps bugs.

Jessie

I think he looks a little pale.

Kelly

Maybe he's sick.

Zack

Why would he be sick? (Screech walks over) Hey, Screech, come here. Take a peek at Artie. Does he look any different to you?

Screech

No.

Zack

See?

Screech

Except for the fact that he's dead.

Zack

We all have one last message for the class of 2003.

Jessie

Take care of our planet so that the kids of 2103 can enjoy it as much as we do. Peace and love.

Slater

Bayside was the first real home I ever had, so be good to it or I'll come and get you.

Lisa

All my fashion secrets are taped to the back of my old locker, number 144. In the meantime, keep on rocking, Bayside.

Screech

Class of 2003, let me leave you with one wise thought. Be kind to all geeks, dweebs and nerds. Ten years from now, they'll be the ones with all the money.

Kelly

No matter what happens, keep on smiling and when life hands you a lemon, make some lemonade.

Zack

High school is the best time of your life. So love, live it, and if you have any time left, do some homework.

Lisa

I'm gonna miss him, he's a decent guy.

Jessie

Lisa, he once got dressed, and THEN took a shower. He may be decent, but he's still a dorky guy.

Lisa

Well, if it wasn't for that "dorky guy," you wouldn't be valedictorian! Ohhhh...

Jessie

Valedictorian? What do you mean?

Lisa

Forget it. I promised not to tell.

Jessie

Lisa! I have to know! How did he make me valedictorian?

Lisa

All right. Screech's average was higher than yours, but he told Mr. Belding to let you be valedictorian because it meant so much to you. This sure would be a much better world if there were more dorky guys, don't you think?

Jessie

I have had it with Eric. He took my TV, my hairdryer and my room. I am in crisis.

Kelly

You sound like you're on 'Thirtysomething.'

I wanna know what's going on right now.

Jessie

[pointing to Slater] Ask brillo-head, he started it.

Well, Brillo-He - I mean, Slater...

Slater

Hey, mama, wanna have a burger with a real man?

Jessie

Sure, I'll go find one.

Jessie

Do you realize we haven't argued for 15 seconds?

Slater

It was 20, shut up.

Lisa

Some people get a little strange when it's time to see Nurse Butcher.

Jessie

Not me, I'm in perfect health. I eat properly, exercise daily, get the right amount of rest.

Slater

You sound like a commercial for Oat Bran.

Jessie

Eh, I hate coffee. Suzy, can I have another cup please?

Zack

So why are you drinking it?

Screech

What else is she gonna do with the coffee Zack?

Zack

Use your head as a donut and dunk you in it.

Screech

No way, my head would never fit in the cup.