Mr. Belding quotes from Saved by the Bell

Now Zack, I know that you and Lisa are in charge of decorations, but this year's theme is not going to be (holds up a banner) Zack and Kelly's Prom!

(explaining Screech's version of what happened in the accident involving Lisa's mom's car) It's a terrible thing that happened to those monkeys though.

Hey, hey, hey. *What* is going *on* here?

Go to class, learn something.

Slater

I'm confused, sir. You know, maybe I'm just trying too hard to get girls to like me.

Hey, now I can identify with that. This may come as a surprise to you, but when I was your age, I wasn't... well, you know... the hunk I am now!

Slater

I can't believe this, sir! No, I thought you were Stud City!

Everybody thinks that!

Where's the flood?

George?! What are you doing here?

Well, my loyalty to the school wouldn't let me stay home in time of crisis. Besides, plumbing is my hobby. Where's the flood?

Flood? What flood?? And what happened to your laryngitis?!

Laryngitis? I don't have laryngitis! And what are you doing here?

I'm giving your midterm, see?

These are not the questions to my midterm.

These are the questions you called me with.

Richard, you called me.

No George, you called me.

Wait a minute, you called me George. You always call me George. The person who phoned me called me Mr Testevarde.

The person who phoned me called me Mr. Belding. But what kind of devious creature would make two fake phone calls?

Zack can't come to the phone right now. He's on his way to pick up his season tickets to detention. If you'd like to leave a message, please wait for the beep.

Zack

Beep.

Screech, your mother called and told me about lightning hitting you. Now, I just want to make sure you're doing alright. Tell me -

Screech

8:30 last night.

...when exactly were you struck by lightning? 8:30?

Screech

Yeah.

Are there any -

Screech

One.

...side effects? Did you say one?

Screech

Yeah, but it's a secret. I'm not supposed to tell anyone that I can see the future.

See the future? Screech, that's -

Screech

Preposterous?

Right.

Now, where was I?

Screech

You were about to say no one has the power to see the future.

Right, Screech, no one has the power to see the future!

Screech

Oops, I'll pick them up!

Pick what up? (knocks over pencil holder) Uh... Screech, I'm just curious. My mother-in-law is staying with us indefinitely. By any chance, can you tell me -

Screech

She'll be gone by Tuesday.

ALRIGHT!

Zack

Mr. Belding... quick! You gotta help me! My life is being threatened by one of your students!

Just one? You're losing your touch, Zack. Calm down. Just tell me who's threatening you.

Zack

Kelly "The Killer" Kapowski.

Kelly Kapowski?

Zack

Yes.

Excuse me for a minute.

[still snickering] What's she gonna do? Spike you to death with a volleyball?

Screech you can't elope!

Screech

Who are you calling cantaloupe, you melon head?!

Do you boys take these girls to be your school wives?

Zack

Oh, you bet!

Slater

I guess.

Screech

WHA-HOO!

That's what Mrs. Belding said when we got married. Girls?

Kelly

I do.

Jessie

I do.

Lisa

I don't.

Zack

Mr. Belding, I want to give you a peace offering. Here is California Girls by the Beach Boys.

I already have that album, Zack!

Zack

Uh, this one has, uh, been remixed with...Dolby sound!

Well, OK, but you are still on the hook for meeting with your mother tomorrow.

[while putting on buttoned sweater] I'm taking a different approach with you, Zack.

Zack

[observes Belding's sweater] So you're gonna be "Mr. Rogers"?

You're in the neighborhood.

I didn't start it; you started it when you planted poison ivy on our football field.

That was kind of rash, wasn't it?

I've been waiting for this day, Morris. This one's for you and your sweet little girlfriend Kelly.

Ready?! Go!

Zack

Oh, hi, Mrs. Belding.

[turns around] My wife's here?

One second! A new record!