Lisa quotes from Saved by the Bell

Lisa

I have a map of every mall from here to Tijuana.

Lisa

It's them! They're here!

Lisa

If you don't get rid of Linda, I'm gonna throw her out the winda.

Lisa

Yeah, I have all these problems, and there's no one ever there for me. I talk and talk and talk, but no one ever listens.

Kelly

What happened to you?

Lisa

I kicked the TV and sprained my ankle.

Jessie

Why?

Lisa

I was watching the new Revlon commercial and they discontinued my nail polish.

Lisa

You think I went overboard?

Zack

Like the crew of the Titanic.

Zack

We only made $53 selling Lisa's clothes. So, she had to do the most humiliating, insulting, degrading thing possible for her - get a job.

Miss, this isn't what I ordered. You were supposed to toast my buns!

Lisa

You want toasted buns? Go sit on a microwave!

Lisa

I'm sorry, Max.

That's okay. It's only the third tray you've dropped. Don't worry about it.

Zack

How's she doing? Let me put it another way: If Lisa were a car, she'd be recalled.

Zack

A bad day at Bayside and not a vacation in sight. Now is time for midterms and the worst of them all is history with...

Lisa

Zack Morris, do not mention that man's name!

Zack

Oh you mean Terrible...UMPH!

Lisa

Here, have a donut. Have some more...no wait, I need the rest!

Kelly

I do not believe this, C-! [Kelly grabs Zack's lapels after he overconfidently claimed he could help her] Zack Morris, I am a forgiving person, but this is going to take a very long time!

Jessie

Lisa, what is that funny looking letter next to my name?

Lisa

It's a Q, Jessie.

Jessie

No, really, really, I can take it. Whatever I got, I deserved. For the first time in my life, I took the easy way out. I'm prepared to face the consequences.

Lisa

It's a B, Jessie. [Jessie faints]

Screech

Zack, I got an A!

Zack

Hey, Screech, how did you do that?

Screech

Well, I was seeing so many pictures, I just stayed up all night and went over everything.

Zack

Ohh, you cheated! You studied!

Slater

As for me, D+, and now we go to the bottom of the barrel, Zack Morris, F- for scamming. I get back my bomber jacket, and you can use your cellular phone to order me a pizza.

Zack

Yes, I would like to order a large pizza. For toppings, I would like mushrooms, anchovies, and the hottest peppers you can find!

Zack

What's she doing here?

Lisa

I went over to Jessie's and said, "Jessie, I need to borrow your color wheel." Jessie said, "Why?" I said, "Zack needs it." She said, "Why?" And so I told her and she said ...

Jessie

Why, I wouldn't miss this for the world.

Mr. Tuttle

You gave away your inventory? The goal of this project is to run a successful business.

Zack

We'd rather be friends.

Mr. Tuttle

I see.

Lisa

So, we're ready for whatever grades you wanna give us.

Jessie

But please don't make it too low. I hyperventilate.

Mr. Tuttle

Ms. Spano, raise that chin. [as the students hum the Battle Hymn of the Republic before the song itself is heard in the background] If you learn that it was a mistake for a company to be cold, calculating, and cutthroat, if you learned that it's better to be happy, healthful, and humane, why, then you've learned the best business lesson of all! You all get an A!

Lisa

Lisa no en casa.

Screech

I love it when you speak German!

Do you boys take these girls to be your school wives?

Zack

Oh, you bet!

Slater

I guess.

Screech

WHA-HOO!

That's what Mrs. Belding said when we got married. Girls?

Kelly

I do.

Jessie

I do.

Lisa

I don't.

Lisa

On behalf of the new student body president: Jessica Myrtle Spano!

Myrtle???

Screech

Forget going to the prom! We're through!

Lisa

Wait a minute. You're not supposed to dump me. I'M supposed to dump YOU!