Jessie quotes from Saved by the Bell

Mr. Tuttle

You gave away your inventory? The goal of this project is to run a successful business.

Zack

We'd rather be friends.

Mr. Tuttle

I see.

Lisa

So, we're ready for whatever grades you wanna give us.

Jessie

But please don't make it too low. I hyperventilate.

Mr. Tuttle

Ms. Spano, raise that chin. [as the students hum the Battle Hymn of the Republic before the song itself is heard in the background] If you learn that it was a mistake for a company to be cold, calculating, and cutthroat, if you learned that it's better to be happy, healthful, and humane, why, then you've learned the best business lesson of all! You all get an A!

Zack

So I can watch The Young and the Restless.

Jessie

It's more The Blonde and the Useless.

Jessie

Slater, haven't you heard of the Women's Movement?

Slater

Sure...Put on something cute and MOVE it into the kitchen.

Jessie

Slater, since we both work we should share the household chores.

Slater

Sure, you cook and I'll eat

Jessie

You macho pig!

Slater

Oink oink, baby!

Do you boys take these girls to be your school wives?

Zack

Oh, you bet!

Slater

I guess.

Screech

WHA-HOO!

That's what Mrs. Belding said when we got married. Girls?

Kelly

I do.

Jessie

I do.

Lisa

I don't.

Jessie

I'm interested in the student body.

Zack

I'm interested in a student body... (looks at Kelly) Hers.

Zack

[on seeing a picture of Mr. Belding mooning the school board in an old school newspaper] Whoa, now there's a side of him I've never seen!

Jessie

Well, looks like Mr. Belding was the Zack Morris of the 60s.

Here's a buck babe, just for being beautiful.

Jessie

Here's a dirty look just for being you.

Slater

Hey, Screech. Want me to get you anything? A Coke, some fries...a hot dog?

Screech

(crying) Dog? (puts head on table)

Zack

So what if they had him since he was a puppy?

Screech

(squeaks) Puppy?

Jessie

All right, one date. But Nerdstrom better keep his paws to himself!

Screech

(wails) Paws!

Zack

Have I ever told you that you are the best Princpal in Bayside, no, make that California?

Zack, I'm not a matador, so take the bull outside!

Jessie

What the little brownnoser is trying to say is we'd like to hold a carnival on school grounds to raise money for the ski trip.

Good idea, do it! [Students are glad at getting Mr. Belding's approval and depart his office expect for Zack, who is stopped] Zack, I want to talk to you about something else. Do the letters F, F, D and C mean anything to you?

Zack

Fine feathered dogs and cats?

No!

Zack

That's OK. I like this game!

F, F, D & C are your grades in biology, English, geography and math!

Zack

I do not believe it...a C? I had no clue I was doing that well in math!

Zack, you're flunking. I think it's time I met your father.

Zack

Hold on, sir. My mother is the one who comes to meet you. After all, she has her own parking space.

She also has no clue about what kind of a student you really are.

Zack

Well, you gotta love her!

No father, no ski trip!

Zack

I want my mommy!

Jessie

Slater, who do you think will come out on top today?

Slater

Call it a hunch, but I think Screech is gonna kick that commie's butt!

Jessie

Slater, we're on the air. In this age of Glasnost, you don't say "kick the commie's butt"!

Slater

Oh, sorry. What I meant was "kick that commie's heiny"!

Jessie

Zach, you wouldn't understand. You live in a world of privilege.

And you live next door to me.

Kelly

Jessie, let's go to the Lost and Found.

Jessie

Why?

Kelly

Because you've lost it.

Lisa, how'd you get tickets to the M.C. Hammer concert?

Lisa

Why?

They're so hard to get; I just wanted to know how you got 'em.

Lisa

I got them from Zack.

You mean he bribed you with them to go on a date with me?

Lisa

Eric, it's not what you think.

Is it true, yes or no?

Lisa

Yes, but you don't understand...

Oh, I understand. So, when you told me you liked me, that was a lie too? Lisa, I never wanna see you again. (walks out of the Max)

Lisa

Eric, wait! Eric, listen to me!

Jessie

Lisa, is that true?

Lisa

(crying) Yes, but when I took the tickets, I didn't like him. Now, I don't like me. (Jessie consoles Lisa)