Screech quotes from Saved by the Bell

Screech

Forget going to the prom! We're through!

Lisa

Wait a minute. You're not supposed to dump me. I'M supposed to dump YOU!

Screech

[sees a picture of the Beatles] Hey, who are the three guys with Paul McCartney?

Zack

That's the Beatles, you idiot!

Screech

Paul never would've made it if he had stuck with those wimps.

Screech

Once, my dad let me back his car out of the garage. Then he got mad at me.

Mr. Tuttle

Well Screech, your father was probably just nervous.

Screech

Well, he had a right to be - I forgot to open the garage door.

Lisa

I hope he had "dork" insurance.

Zack

Hey, Screech, I told Mr. Belding that you do a great impression of Mr. Turtle and he wants to hear it.

Zack

Not here, you dingbat! gives Screech his cell phone He's in his office waiting for our call. Now pretend you're Mr. Tuttle and ask Belding to get the keys out of the driver's ed car.

Hello?

Why can't you do it yourself?

Screech

Um, um, I'm shaving my body hair so I can swim faster.

Sorry I asked! All right, Tuttle, I'll get the keys out of the car for you. Now, is there anything else I can do for you?

Zack

Good, now stall him for five minutes.

Screech

Would you please tell me the long story of how you became a princpal?

Well, if you insist. The year was 1956. Elvis was king, Eisenhower was in the White House, and I was in kindergarten on a finger painting scholarship. God, I loved those paints!

Slater

Hey, Screech. Want me to get you anything? A Coke, some fries...a hot dog?

Screech

(crying) Dog? (puts head on table)

Zack

So what if they had him since he was a puppy?

Screech

(squeaks) Puppy?

Jessie

All right, one date. But Nerdstrom better keep his paws to himself!

Screech

(wails) Paws!

Zachary?

Zack

(jumps up) Yes, Mrs. Powers? (crosses arms)

There's something wrong with the statue.

Screech

There is?

Yes. (turns statue to the kitchen) Elvis likes to face the kitchen so he can watch me cook!

Zack

Screech, I'm going to do you a favor.

Screech

Last time you did me a favor, I ended up naked on a bus.

Zack

Look, you had a window seat!

Class, this is my brother... Rod Belding.

Screech

Wow. A building with two Beldings, one of whom is balding.

Slater

[smiling] So what happened, Preppie? Did she turn you down?

Zack

Guess again, my high school friend. Danielle my collage friend just asked me to meet her tomorrow night at "The Attic".

Screech

Wow, the attic. That is cool. There could be bats up there.

Slater

YOU'RE bats, Screech. "The Attic" is an 'over 18' club, and Zack's only 16.

Zack

That may be true, Slater. But by tomorrow morning, we'll all be 18.

Screech

Oh, no! Mom said I have to move out at 18. I gotta look for a place!

Screech

[to Zack's pet duck] So long, Becky. And remember... [makes quack sounds]

Screech

[to Zack] I heard Donald say that to Huey, Dewey, and Louie.

Zack

And you're screwy.

Jessie

Ms. Billingham, is the only reason you want me now is because Harvard wants me, too?

Well, Ms. Spano, we are the "Harvard of the West."

Jessie

Well Ms. Billingham, thanks, but no thanks. If Stansbury is that hypocritical, then they'll just have to do without Jessica Spano.

Slater

AND, without A.C. Slater.

Kelly

AND, it's Stansbury's loss!

Screech

Do you have any brochures I can look at, so I--- (Kelly yanks him by the collar)

Zack

(to Slater and Zack) Gentlemen, we have struck gold. Let's work out.

Slater

I don't know about you, but working out is the last thing on my mind.

Screech

I hear you, blood.

Slater

"I hear you, blood"? Where'd you get that?

Screech

Chapter 3: Talking cool.

Screech

Kristy, can I have the candle?

Oh, sure. Do you want to lick the icing?

Screech

No, I love to chew wax.

Ah, cookies, just what the doctor ordered.

Screech

Who's your doctor, Famous Amos?

Screech

Lisa, don't drink that! (Lisa spits out her water) It might be poison!

Lisa

You're right. (to Screech) You drink it. (hands the glass of water to Screech)

Screech

(sips the water) Hm. Tastes fine to me; I'll live!

Darn!