Screech quotes from Saved by the Bell

Screech

M...Mercury. V...Venus. E...E...E-I-E-I-O...

Zack

Screech, what's the rest of it?

Screech

Old McDonald had a farm...

Screech

I wanna announce to one and all that I love the mirror from the mall!

Lisa

And if you touch me, I swear I'll knock you through the wall!

Why don't you get me ginger ale, with a big scoop of peanut butter?

Screech

Ah, that's my favorite combination too.

Lisa

Well, Screech, maybe you're pregnant.

Screech

Oh, don't be ridiculous, Lisa. I'm not even married!

Lisa

Oh, please. You're going gaga over something that burps bugs.

Jessie

I think he looks a little pale.

Kelly

Maybe he's sick.

Zack

Why would he be sick? (Screech walks over) Hey, Screech, come here. Take a peek at Artie. Does he look any different to you?

Screech

No.

Zack

See?

Screech

Except for the fact that he's dead.

Screech

There you are, you butchers! You've totally changed my song!

Lisa

No, we didn't, Screech. It's still about Bayside.

Slater

Yeah, and we used most of the words you did. "The", "and", "it". "Bayside".

Screech

Oh. Well, in that case, it's okay then.

Zack

We all have one last message for the class of 2003.

Jessie

Take care of our planet so that the kids of 2103 can enjoy it as much as we do. Peace and love.

Slater

Bayside was the first real home I ever had, so be good to it or I'll come and get you.

Lisa

All my fashion secrets are taped to the back of my old locker, number 144. In the meantime, keep on rocking, Bayside.

Screech

Class of 2003, let me leave you with one wise thought. Be kind to all geeks, dweebs and nerds. Ten years from now, they'll be the ones with all the money.

Kelly

No matter what happens, keep on smiling and when life hands you a lemon, make some lemonade.

Zack

High school is the best time of your life. So love, live it, and if you have any time left, do some homework.

Kelly

Who are you?

Screech

Oh, I'm, uh, I'm- Sinead O'Connor.

Kelly

That's a very famous name. You have a hit song in the charts, you know...?

Screech

Oh, uh, that's the other O'Connor. She's my niece. She learned from me.

Lisa

You taught her everything she knows?

Screech

Oh, that I did. Now she can clean toilets with the best of 'em.

Screech

Hey, ya know what, Slater? With this microscope, your nose hairs look like the Amazon Rain Forest.

Slater

If you don't get that thing out of my face, I'm gonna have the Natives come out and eat you.

Zack

I'm sorry you were stuck in the file cabinet for so long.

Screech

That's okay, just paint me blue and call me a Smurf.

Jessie

Eh, I hate coffee. Suzy, can I have another cup please?

Zack

So why are you drinking it?

Screech

What else is she gonna do with the coffee Zack?

Zack

Use your head as a donut and dunk you in it.

Screech

No way, my head would never fit in the cup.

Lisa

Screech, stop and smell the roses.

Screech

Oh, I smelled the roses once and a bee flew up my nose!