Jessie quotes from Saved by the Bell

Jessie

I think it's reverse macho pigism and I don't like it.

Jessie

[sings] I'm so excited! I'm so excited! [starts to cry] I'm so... scared!

Jessie

Kelly, are you taking stupid pills again? We're lucky he pays us with American money!

Jessie

If any one of you sweeties dares bid on my Slater, I'm gonna hunt you down in the streets like a rabid dog!

Jessie

(singing) Oh Artie boy, the bugs, the bugs, are buzzing. There's gnats and ants, mostquitoes on the fly. And there'll be bugs for breakfast lunch and dinner in that big chameleon banquet in the sky.

Jessie

Your understanding of politics is limited to who won the election on 'Sesame Street'.

Zack

Come on Jessie, there's lots of guys taller than you.

Jessie

Name one.

Zack

Kareem Abdul-Jabbar?

Zack

Jessie, I'm in big trouble.

Jessie

What did you do, sell your parents' house again?

Jessie, would you like to be my dance partner in the contest?

Jessie

(Standing up) I'd love to...(Seeing how short Danny is) but I don't believe in dance contests.

Kelly

What happened to you?

Lisa

I kicked the TV and sprained my ankle.

Jessie

Why?

Lisa

I was watching the new Revlon commercial and they discontinued my nail polish.

Zack

Screech even sold his body to science.

Jessie

Yeah, they gave him twenty dollars to take it back.

Jessie

You know, you guys, I just remembered; there was one time that I did not get an A. I was in the fourth grade, Mr. Simmons had a nervous breakdown and gave the entire class L's and Q's.

Kelly

Why is getting an A so important to you?

Jessie

It's not important. Alright, it is. I know it shouldn't be, but I just can't help myself. It's my whole identity.

Kelly

What are you talking about?

Jessie

Will you stop hollering at me? Everyone's gotta be something, right? She's the fashionable one, you're the popular one and, who am I?

Kelly

The wacko one.

Kelly

I do not believe this, C-! [Kelly grabs Zack's lapels after he overconfidently claimed he could help her] Zack Morris, I am a forgiving person, but this is going to take a very long time!

Jessie

Lisa, what is that funny looking letter next to my name?

Lisa

It's a Q, Jessie.

Jessie

No, really, really, I can take it. Whatever I got, I deserved. For the first time in my life, I took the easy way out. I'm prepared to face the consequences.

Lisa

It's a B, Jessie. [Jessie faints]

Screech

Zack, I got an A!

Zack

Hey, Screech, how did you do that?

Screech

Well, I was seeing so many pictures, I just stayed up all night and went over everything.

Zack

Ohh, you cheated! You studied!

Slater

As for me, D+, and now we go to the bottom of the barrel, Zack Morris, F- for scamming. I get back my bomber jacket, and you can use your cellular phone to order me a pizza.

Zack

Yes, I would like to order a large pizza. For toppings, I would like mushrooms, anchovies, and the hottest peppers you can find!

Zack

What's she doing here?

Lisa

I went over to Jessie's and said, "Jessie, I need to borrow your color wheel." Jessie said, "Why?" I said, "Zack needs it." She said, "Why?" And so I told her and she said ...

Jessie

Why, I wouldn't miss this for the world.

Zack

(touching his face) I don't need to shave.

Jessie

Your legs.