Zack quotes from Saved by the Bell

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[last lines of the series]

Zack

How about that? I actually graduated high school! [jumps off the stage] Right here, guys! [graduation caps go flying as the studio audience applauds and the theme song plays one last time]

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Zack

You know, I've finally found out the best thing about high school: once you graduate, you don't have to come back.

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Scenes with Zack 81

Zack

Come on Jessie, there's lots of guys taller than you.

Name one.

Zack

Kareem Abdul-Jabbar?

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Zack

Jessie, I'm in big trouble.

What did you do, sell your parents' house again?

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You think I went overboard?

Zack

Like the crew of the Titanic.

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Zack

Screech even sold his body to science.

Yeah, they gave him twenty dollars to take it back.

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Zack

We only made $53 selling Lisa's clothes. So, she had to do the most humiliating, insulting, degrading thing possible for her - get a job.

Lisa is seen waiting tables at The Max

CCustomer

Miss, this isn't what I ordered. You were supposed to toast my buns!

You want toasted buns? Go sit on a microwave!

Lisa drops tray

I'm sorry, Max.

MMax

That's okay. It's only the third tray you've dropped. Don't worry about it.

Zack

How's she doing? Let me put it another way: If Lisa were a car, she'd be recalled.

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Zack

A bad day at Bayside and not a vacation in sight. Now is time for midterms and the worst of them all is history with...

Zack{booming voice}: Terrible Testaverde!

Students in passageway flee in panic. Lisa appears with donuts as she is overeating due to nervousness

Zack Morris, do not mention that man's name!

Zack

Oh you mean Terrible...UMPH!

Lisa shoves donut in Zack's mouth

Here, have a donut. Have some more...no wait, I need the rest!

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Students are about to take midterm monitored by Mr. Belding, who was fooled by a fake call from Zack. Mr. Testaverde comes in the classroom dressed in overalls

TMr. Testaverde

Where's the flood?

George?! What are you doing here?

TMr. Testaverde

Well, my loyalty to the school wouldn't let me stay home in time of crisis. Besides, plumbing is my hobby. Where's the flood?

Flood? What flood?? And what happened to your laryngitis?!

TMr. Testaverde

Laryngitis? I don't have laryngitis! And what are you doing here?

I'm giving your midterm, see?

Mr. Belding shows questions to Mr. Testaverde

TMr. Testaverde

These are not the questions to my midterm.

BMr Belding

These are the questions you called me with.

TMr. Testaverde

Richard, you called me.

No George, you called me.

TMr. Testaverde

Wait a minute, you called me George. You always call me George. The person who phoned me called me Mr Testevarde.

The person who phoned me called me Mr. Belding. But what kind of devious creature would make two fake phone calls?

Mr. Belding and Mr. Testaverde have their eyes on the chief suspect, Zack, who buries his head in his hands. The two men walk over to Zack's desk, where Mr. Testaverde places his plumber's helper atop Zack's head and forces him to stand erect and to make eye contact with Mr. Belding. Zack's cell phone rings, which is answered by Mr. Belding

Zack can't come to the phone right now. He's on his way to pick up his season tickets to detention. If you'd like to leave a message, please wait for the beep.

Zack

Beep.

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[Students got slaughtered by Mr. Testaverde's midterm. Test results are in]

I do not believe this, C-! [Kelly grabs Zack's lapels after he overconfidently claimed he could help her] Zack Morris, I am a forgiving person, but this is going to take a very long time!

Lisa, what is that funny looking letter next to my name?

It's a Q, Jessie.

No, really, really, I can take it. Whatever I got, I deserved. For the first time in my life, I took the easy way out. I'm prepared to face the consequences.

It's a B, Jessie. [Jessie faints]

Screech

Zack, I got an A!

Zack

Hey, Screech, how did you do that?

Screech

Well, I was seeing so many pictures, I just stayed up all night and went over everything.

Zack

Ohh, you cheated! You studied!

Slater

As for me, D+, and now we go to the bottom of the barrel, Zack Morris, F- for scamming. I get back my bomber jacket, and you can use your cellular phone to order me a pizza.

[the class departs the room, except for Zack, who calls the pizzeria]

Zack

Yes, I would like to order a large pizza. For toppings, I would like mushrooms, anchovies, and the hottest peppers you can find!

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Zack

Kelly.

Hi Zack.

Zack

So Kel, big dance Friday night, huh?

I haven't asked anyone yet, Zack.

Zack

Really? Well, I just want you to know that I'm keeping my calendar clear, you know what I mean?

I know what you mean. You want me to ask you?

Zack

You could do worse.

Slater

She could do better... a lot better.

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Zack

Mr. Belding... quick! You gotta help me! My life is being threatened by one of your students!

Just one? You're losing your touch, Zack. Calm down. Just tell me who's threatening you.

Zack

Kelly "The Killer" Kapowski.

Kelly Kapowski?

Zack

Yes.

Excuse me for a minute.

[turns head to laugh]

[still snickering] What's she gonna do? Spike you to death with a volleyball?

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Zack

What's she doing here?

I went over to Jessie's and said, "Jessie, I need to borrow your color wheel." Jessie said, "Why?" I said, "Zack needs it." She said, "Why?" And so I told her and she said ...

Why, I wouldn't miss this for the world.

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[Jessie hands Zack a shaver]

Zack

(touching his face) I don't need to shave.

Your legs.