Sabrina, the Teenage Witch · Season 1
“The True Adventures of Rudy Kazootie” · Season 1
In this episode: Sabrina Spellman (6), Hilda Spellman (4), Zelda Spellman (4), Salem Saberhagen the cat (4), Harvey Kinkle (2), Mr. Eugene Pool (1)
Sabrina, d’ya want some breakfast?
[glumly] No thanks, I’ll be out 'Rollerblah'ing.
What’s wrong?
She wanted inline skates, but she wanted a brand name.
[sympathetically] Oh, you can’t do that. We have strict copyright laws ever since the seventies, when witches way over did the Gucci.
You can still get decent knock off’s from the Hong Kong witches...
I still don’t understand why I can’t go to parents’ night with you.
Because, Salem, it’s weird enough that we’re two sisters who live together in an old Victorian house - If we show up with a cat, we cross the line into Loonyville.
Well, I’m off to my job!
You’re all dressed up.
Yeah, well, I want to make a good impression on the baby. [beat] And Harvey’s gonna be there.
[knowingly] Oh...
Don’t "Oh" - We have a study date!
[sceptical] Uh-huh...
Don’t "Uh-huh" - We have a test!
Mm-hm.
Don’t you start! Look, it’s no big deal, I mean Harvey could have asked anyone to study with him. [pauses, smiles] Of course, he did ask me...
[about the house Sabrina's babysitting at] You should have just said "it’s the house with the flying duck on the mailbox".
You really notice mailboxes, don’t you?
[holding several candy bars and soda cans] I’ve found all kinds of great stuff! It’s, uh, not brand name, but I’m sure it tastes fine. [puts them on the coffee table]
[reading the wrappers] ‘Schnickers’? ‘N&N’s’? ‘Butterthumb’? Where do these people shop?
I don’t know, but if you're thirsty, there’s ‘Popsi’.
Do they have ‘Yoo-hoo’?
No, but they have ‘Hey, Over Here’.
I think I’ll just have a diet Popsi.
I need to go to the nurse.
Er, is there a problem... [looks at Hilda's nametag] ...Mrs. Spellman?
Yes, it’s my tummy-
No, she’s fine - and it’s "Miss Spellman".
Who are you?
Oh, I’m also "Miss Spellman". We’re Sabrina’s aunts - Sisters, not an alternative couple.
So you’re, uh, single?
[flattered] Yes, and you?
[grins slightly] Extremely.
[to herself] Now I really am gonna throw up...
[catches Salem playing with yarn] Salem... What are you doing?
Er... nothing?
It looks like you're playing with a ball of yarn.
I have urges, Sabrina.
Look, can we deal with your issues later? I’ve got a bigger problem. [picks him up and carries him away]
[mournfully] My yarn!
This magic ruins everything! He’s supposed to be in his crib sucking his thumb, and I’m supposed to be studying with Harvey!
Oh...
Uh-huh...
Stop that, this is serious!
Oh, calm down Sabrina... Just try to figure out exactly what you did.
I don’t know, I don’t remember! Rudy was crying, I picked him up, I said "big boys don’t cry" and I rubbed his back!
Did you say anything else?
I don’t think so...
Be a big boy!
...He’s right, I said ‘be a big boy’!
And I bet you said it three times!
Oh, mystery solved; You cast a passion spell!
Passion spell? What’s that?
If you want something enough, and you say it three times, it might just happen.
We like to call it a Travis.
Why?
Randy Travis, Randy Travis, Randy Travis.
[a slightly bemused Randy Travis appears next to her]
I love this spell.
What a...What am I doin’ here?
Oh, we were just illustrating a point for our niece. I hope we haven’t caught you at a bad time...
No, it’s fine. My wife does wonder where I keep popping off to, though... Will there be anything else?
Maybe later.
If you need me, you’ll know where to find me. You always do. [leaves the classroom]
Now, he is so cute!
Oh, I love his new album...!
Can we get back to me, here?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Sabrina, the Teenage Witch pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
