Rugrats · Season 1
What do you mean?
Getting old's fun!
No, no, little Phil. Getting old is nothing but misery and woe.
Wow. It's too bad you can't stay little like us.
Yes. It's too bad I can't stay little like... Wait a minute, that's it!
Uh-oh!
[finds Phil and Lil naked and runs towards them] Great Evonne Goolagong! What's going on here?! Philly, Lilly, you're nudists!
Betty! I'm surprised at you. I mean, they're just babies. Lipschitz says--
[picks up Phil and Lil's clothes] Don't start with that hippie Lipschitz, Deed! I don't know what kind of baby commune you're trying to run here, but it's time to face facts! The sixties are over and we've lost, so get with the program, all right?!
Hey, babies! Ready for a game of pin the tail on the diaper? [Chuckie hides the CD under the teddy bear] Hey, Chuckie, what do you got there?
Ah, nothing. We just playing one of the silly games.
Hmm. Say, isn’t Spike out there.
What do you mean, Angelica?
Oh, nothing. I just forgot it for a minute which of you was the favorite kid. But then it came to me. How silly of me; it's so obvious.
The favorite?
What're you talking about, Angelica?
Every family has a favorite kid, right?
They do?
Sure! Look at my family. I'm the favorite. And in Tommy's family, he's the favorite, and Chuckie's the favorite in his family, right?
But, Angelica, our family has two kids. [holds two fingers]
That's right.
So, how can we both be the favorite?
Well, you can't, of course. I guess what it comes down to is: your family's not big enough for the both of ya.
You mean...?
Yep, one of you's the favorite and the other... is the reject.
[Phil and Lil gasp in shock]
Reject?!
The favorite gets all the toys and the attention, and the reject, um... The reject has to live in the basement all by his-self.
[Phil and Lil both gulp nervously]
But which one of us is the reject?
That is the question, isn't it? Guess you'll just have to figure it out for yourselves.
[Angelica leaves the room humming as Phil and Lil look at each other sadly]
Do you think Angelica was right about the favorite?
[shakes his head] Nah, she couldn't be. If Daddy or Mommy had a favorite, they'd be much nicer to him.
You're right. She'd be treated a lot better.
And Mommy and Daddy treat us both the same.
[picks up her ball] Right, exactly the same.
I just wish there was something I could do!
Oh! [the doorbell rings] Who on earth could that be?
[Stu walks up to the front door and opens it. A rich man is on the other side]
Mr. Pickles?
That's me.
My name is Winston St. George. [as he talks to Stu, he removes his monocole and wipes it with a piece of cloth] Two weeks ago, I was walking down the street when I spied a rare Siberian Tiger Hound worth thousands. I was tempted to keep him to breed, but then I saw your ad.
[Spike jumps into Stu's arms and pants happily]
Ugh! Spike!
Spike, eh? Well, I've been calling him Nightscroft's Squire Muldoon.
More wind!
Here you go, Angelica.
Thank you, Chuckie. This is the life.
Angelica, can I have a turn?
Look, if it were up to me, I'd let you sit in the chair but it's against the rules.
Hey, what are you doing here sister? I thought I told you to scram. [spots her cheese] Oh, num-num. [eats the cheese, and burps] I want you to get out, but you wouldn't listen. Now I'm gonna have to teach you a lesson.
Get back get away from me!
You had your chance. Where do you think you're going sister?
No, please! I'm you big sister!
[last words] Well, now you're num-num!
[The scene reverts to Angelica talking in her sleep, as Drew then comes in when overhearing her scream]
No, no, no! [screams]
[turns the light on] Angelica! Angelica! Wake up! Wake up!
[wakes up] DON'T EAT ME!!!! Where is he?! Where's the new baby?!
You were having a bad dream, honey. Everything's okay now.
A bad dream!
That's right.
I'm just a dotted line!
Any idiot can see a dotted line!
I'm not scared of you.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Well, then you're making a big mistake, bucko. [launches another water balloon at Josh]
Hey, watch it, Angelica!
Give up, cheese-brain?
Tell you what, I'll make ya a deal. We'll, split the babies 50/50.
Mm. Who gets the heads?
No, I mean, you take two babies, and I'll take two babies. Couldn't be more fair than that.
No way! I came here to get these babies, and I'm not leaving till' I get them all!
Oh, yeah?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah! [as she pushes Josh, causing him to scratch his arm on the edge of the sandbox]
[wails] Mommy, she pushed me! [wailing as he run away]
And don't ever let me catch you picking on my babies again!
[gasps] This isn't happening! I was just being a good father!
Bailiff! Have this man removed from my court and locked up! [everyone cheers and applauds]
No! I'm a good father! I'm a good father! [the bailiff grabs Drew by the shoulders and drags him away] I'm a good father! I'm a good father!
[bangs his gavel repeatedly as Drew shouts "I'm a good father!" repeatedly] Order! Order in this court! Order! I demand order! I am the judge here!
[The judge continues yelling at Drew and banging his gavel while the cheers turn into evil laughter as Drew is continued to be dragged away. Finally, the camera zooms in Drew's mouth and we cut to Drew struggling in his sleep in bed. It revealed is was all Drew's dream. Drew then wakes up, gasping]
A dream! It was just a dream! Charlotte! Charlotte! Wake up!
Huh? [she sees the LCD Clock reading 3:01] Drew, It's three in the morning.
[yawn] Hi, Daddy.
Hi, sweetie.
Daddy, I'm sorry I was a bad girl.
Sweetie, I'm the one to be sorry. I shouldn't have tried to make you eat the broccoli. From now on, you can try the foods you're ready to try.
Daddy, you're the greatest.
Nicely dye, princess.
Spike got it a huge fight.
I'm gonna miss Angelica after all.
Yeah, me too.
[enraged] Those ingrates! I gave MergeCorp the best years of my life and they've given the New York V.P. job to that weasel Jonathan! [rips phone cord from phone] There's no loyalty in this town, Drew!
You like us! You really like us!
[The Rugrats cheering hugging Angelica]
Yuck! I was making it all up! Stop hugging me! Stop it! Stop it! Nothing's change! Cut it out!
[Chas puts away the keepsakes of Chuckie's mother]
Chas, I think it's time you shared these things with Chuckie.
Well, I'm just afraid he'll miss her.
Then you can miss her together.
["A Poem to Chuckie" by Melinda Finster]
My sweet, little Chuckie, though I must leave you behind me
This poem will tell you where you always can find me.
When a gentle wind blows, that's my hand on your face.
And when the tree gives you shade, that's my sheltering embrace.
When the sun gives you freckles, that's me tickling my boy.
When the rain wets your hair, those are my tears of joy.
When the long grass enfolds you, that's me holding you tight.
When the Whippoorwill sings, that's me whispering, "Night, night."
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Rugrats pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
