So, what are you? Like, the Hole? The Hole's promoter? The-- The Hole's intern?
Is there a Hole here?
Right. I-I'm-- I'm supposed to go in there and be shocked that there's no Hole, or that there is a Hole. What difference would it make?
Hm. You are hard to scare.
And Rick isn't. Right? The-- The Hole's gonna like, suck on him forever because his big secret is that he's got the most fear?
Well, we can certainly say you're not afraid to be reductive. I doubt your grandpa has more fear than the average asshole at a Denny's.
[offscreen] Hey!
[to Patron] Sorry. [to Morty] If anything, he seems pretty brave! Certainly not afraid to die. Maybe that makes his fear extra... delicious. [takes a long swig of coffee.]
So what? He's scared of love?
Everyone's scared of love, dipshit, you learn that in your twenties. It takes a very rare, very powerful being to be... terrified of happiness.
Dumb.
You're dumb. That's why you're not scared to be happy. The smarter you are, the more you know. Happiness is a trap; it can't last forever. Let's say you meet the love of your life - well, it's still gonna end. It's inevitable, whether by the slow pull of a disease or the shock of loose footing on a hiking trail. Whether it be the corrosion of two personalities that reshape each other until they're incompatible, or maybe the ol' stranger in a bar that says the things that need to be said to that person, that night. The point is, happiness always ends. Best case scenario - think about this, best case - is that you die at the same time. Yikes.
Can't the Hole just let me go, then? Sounds like I don't matter...
You don't. But if you go, you'll take him away. Don't worry, Rick will die before accepting happiness. After that, we'll chase you with some clowns or some dumb shit like that, but grandpa? [chuckles] Yummy-yummy grandpa's gonna die. Just. Like. Diane. [laughs maniacally as lightning flashes]
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