Damian quotes from Rescue Me

Tommy

[sighs] I could only get 300 bucks out of the ATM.

Damian

That's okay. You can owe me the rest. I trust you.

Tommy

You know what, kid? I was at your christening and I didn't drown you, okay? So let's think about who owes who. All right?

Tommy

Let me get this straight--

Damian

I'm bangin' my science teacher.

Tommy

Mrs. Turbody, she's obviously married.

Damian

No, no actually she's widowed. That's kinda how we connected. You know, the grieving processes, the different stages, blah blah blah.

Tommy

Blah blah blah.

Damian

Yeah, I got that from you.

Tommy

This is some serious stuff. This-- this could scar you for life.

Damian

Yeah. I sure as hell hope so.

Tommy

No. Literally, I mean you could end up being my age and still have the mental images from this-- y'know, in the front of your brain.

Tommy

[trying to convince Damian to stop dating his teacher] Alright, here's the deal. You ever look behind your mom's TV set, where the home entertainment system is and all that stuff is. You ever look behind there?

Damian

Uh, no.

Tommy

Well, if you did, you'd see a whole gaggle of wires back there with connections and stuff-- there's inputs and there's outputs, and-- and it's kinda like your interior pleasure center. Like, your brain is wired directly to your penis, okay? So, you have all these inputs and outputs and if you put the wrong input in the wrong output, next thing y'know your brain is sending the wrong signal to your dick and you can get completely screwed up, okay? So it's okay now when you're 18 years old and you're bangin' a hot 38 year old Mrs. Turbody-- but then you can turn into a 45 year old man-- my age, and then all of a sudden you wanna bang... 70 year old broads, okay? You want that, huh?

Damian

No.

Tommy

You ever seen your grandmother naked?

Damian

Hell no.

Tommy

Well, I'm talkin' about seein' her and wantin' to bang her. You want that?