Hey, are you doing anything tomorrow? My family is having a barbecue. Wanna come?
Family function?! Pass. I can't stand my own family barbecues, Why would I want to go to someone else's?
[elbows Rigby] She's not talking to you!
Um. So, how 'bout it? Hehe.
Awesome! I'm really excited for you to meet everybody, especially my dad. I think you'll really like him. He pilots the traffic Helicopter for the local news.
Whoa! Your dad is Chopper Six?!
That dude rules! [imitates Chopper Six] This is Chopper Six now flying over a ton of traffic. Bet all of you losers wish you were in this Chopper! WHOO! And then he flies over some burning truck in a fifty car pile up! So cool.
He is really cool, but don't let your guard down. Margaret's dad can be a pretty aggressive guy. It's common in such a male dominant profession. He even refuses to shake hands with any guy Margaret brings home.
Oh, come on! He's not that tough. He's super sweet when you get to know him.
Yeah. I'm sure we'll get along fine.
Well, we gotta get back to work. I'll pick you up tomorrow, okay? [she and Eileen leave]
Great. See ya. I have to shake that guy's hand.
Dude, it's a huge deal! I'm finally out of the friend zone, and now she's taking me to meet her parents.
So what? You wanna date Margaret, not her dad.
You don't get it, dude. If Margaret and I are gonna date, I need her dad to like me. [determined] I have to get that handshake.
DDenise
Mordecai, let me introduce you to the family. We have Margaret's cousins-- Ricky, Tommy, Marcie, Robby, Ronnie, Susie, Stacey, you know John.
DDenise
Uncle Tim, Uncle Dave, Uncle Bill, Aunt Theresa, Aunt Mary Beth, Aunt Kathleen, Nana Smith, Grandpappy Jack, and over by the grill is Margaret's--
FFrank
Is that my little hug-bug? Give me a hug, hug-bug!
[excitedly hugs her dad] Daddy!
FFrank
Aw, look at you so grown up. How am I gonna hug my hug-bug if I can't even recognize her?
Dad, I was here last weekend!
Okay, I'm tired of asking questions. So you're gonna tell me what's going on. Thomas, I know you know.
Alright everybody, settle down!
Well, look who decided to chime in.
Okay, I'm gonna tell you what's going on, but you're not gonna like it!
MMarty
[to Death as he is about to leave] Hey loser! Here's your complimentary shirt, you loser! [holds up a T-shirt that says "I GOT DOGGED AT THE HOT BUNS DOGGERY" while laughing mockingly]
[to Marty; threateningly] You better enjoy the next few days, 'cause your deadline just got moved up, BIG TIME! [leaves on his motorcycle as the back tire splashes mud onto the countertop, Marty, and the shirt he's holding]
I tried to turn it off, but every time I did, the baby would start crying again. They played all 8 seasons; 257 episodes back to back. When Starla and her sister found me the next day, I was crying in a ball on the floor.
It sounds like that show messed you up pretty bad.
That must be what's causing your nightmares.
What's going on?! Why are we locked up?!
(Kessler then throws a bag of Amadeus Dollars to Mordecai)
You tell me. You and your buddies' prints are all over these counterfeit Amadeus Dollars.
Don't be cute with me. We've been on the case for months. Your funny money scam is GOING DOWN! (bangs her fists on table) DOWN TO PRISON TOWN, YOU HEAR ME?! PRISON!!!
Bros! The feds said we could help save you!
Cannit, Mitch! Okay, Papa Bear, the jig is up. Drop the gun, and no one gets hurt.
LLouie
I'd be careful if I were you. (laughs)
MMale officer
Drop the gun, big guy!
DRDuck Robot
Hold up, square! (cocks her gun) Y'all better put your guns down, NOW!
The last few weeks I have spent with you have been the best weeks of my life. I feel like we are growing closer every day, and nobody makes me happier than you do. Margaret, (holds both of Margaret's hands with love. Margaret has a sad expression on her face) will you be my girlfriend?
Mordecai, there's something I need to tell you. For the first time ever, I feel like I can be in a relationship that can actually go somewhere...but there's this. (shows him a torn open envelope with a letter inside it, that shows it's from Milten University; Mordecai has a shocked expression on his face; then starts tearing up) I got into my dream school. I really like you Mordecai, and what we have is special, but I may never get this opportunity again. (starts crying) I'm sorry, but... I can't be your girlfriend. (gets up and runs away)
Dude, Margaret's important to me. I can't just forget her.
Okay, okay. You don't have to forget her, but you have to get over her for real. Staying like this is messed up, and is messing you up. I want my friend back.
Well, if you were a real friend, you'd understand.
I am your friend. You would realize that, if you weren't such a sad sack chump!
(Enraged that Rigby called him a sad sack chump, Mordecai angrily stops the car and violently shoves Rigby out of the car and furiously drives away)
Ah, man! (Rigby sighs and starts running after him)
[Jack asks V.I.C.K.I. to shut down the arm cannon, then he shoots Mordecai and Rigby, then Benson pushes Mordecai and Rigby to save their lives, and V.I.C.K.I. destroys his car]
JJack
Whoo! Bummer about your car, man! At least that explosion was pretty awesome. Totally satisfied my violent urges, you know what I'm saying? Hey, can I get the other 250 bucks?
JJack
Brain check. Got it, Brah. [Police get Jack, then he acrobat backwards into the bushes]
Thanks for saving us, Benson!
Damage to the house, damage to my car — my bus fare for the NEXT MONTH!!! YOU'RE PAYING FOR ALL OF IT!!!!
[Mordecai and Rigby groan, as Benson leaves in fury]
He didn't say to clean up this mess, but--
[sighs] Yeah, let's get started.
Oh Mordecai, check this out.
[they both lift up the sparkling unscathed windshield, with Muscle Man and Fives passing by]
Told you my guy was good.
JJimbros
Jimbros Burritos! Jimbros Burritos! Jimbros Burritos! Jimbros Burritos!
JJimbo
We are the Jimbros! Jimbo!
JJimbo
Introducing our new Every Meat Burrito! It's got every meat: Beef!
JJimbo
[while animal names and meat appear for a split second] And every other! [it shows a pile of meat rolling into a ball, going into the meat grinder. After it comes out of the meat grinder, it starts getting wrapped in a tortilla, turning into an Every Meat Burrito, then cuts to the "Jimbros Burritos" logo] JIMBROS BURRITOS! JIMBROS BURRITOS!
