Okay, everybody, I'm gonna give Tucker his physical now. Would either of you like to assist?
That's just a fancy way of saying "hold the vomit bucket". Muaheheheh!
Uhh... Sorry, I'm busy.
Caboose?
I can't.
Well, why not?
Oh. Because... I am allergic to things I don't want to do... [Fakes coughing] ...Coughing.
Ok, just more fun for me.
Hey, guys? I've figured out what's wrong.
What is it, Doc?
You're not gonna like the diagnosis.
Hmhmhmhm which is ironic, because I think it's absolutely delightful, muhahahaha.
Just tell us, Doc. We can take it.
Your friend is -
Dying? Oh, no!
No, he's not dying, he just has -
No chance to live. I knew it!
Caboose, one more interruption outta you, and he's gonna have two patients.
How do I say this, your friend is...
Why are you pausing? Caboose is not gonna interrupt you this time.
No, that was just for dramatic effect. He's pregnant.
Oh, good... Wait, what?
Hmhmhmhmhm, preggers, muahaha.
All right, are we paying for this service, because, if we are, I want a refund. And if we're not, I want a refund
No it's true. We found two heartbeats. So unless he has two hearts the only logical explanation is that he's pregnant. I think.
(to Andy and Caboose) Alright, one of the two of you has some explaining to do.
(chuckles) Don't look at me! Tucker's not my type!
Cha! Me neither. And, uh, maybe we should have the...doctor explain, uh, just how babies are made, y'know? Uh, in case someone...in the group, uh, may not exactly know how that happens...
Oh my God, Caboose shut up. Andy, blow up. Doc, you're fired, get outta here. I'm gonna go shoot Tucker.
Uh, I think I need to stay here and guaaaaard... this rock. From Tucker. Because I'm pretty sure that's how this whole thing started.
Alright, what's wrong? You seem nervous.
What if Tucker is contagious? I do not want to catch pregnancy!
Hey! No one is pregnant! And seriously, Caboose, when I get done with this, we gotta have a little talk, man. There's a book I've got that we can read together.
(short pause) I'd like that.
Maybe you can have the bowling ball fill you in on some of the basics, let me get you started. There's three holes. (short, maniacal laugh)
Oh, gross
I meant in the bowling ball!
[Sarge is sneaking up behind Caboose to try and steal Andy]
[Grabs Andy and replaces him with Lopez] Yoink!
Andy?
[Caboose looks around]
...Andy?
[He sees Lopez on the ground]
What happened to you?
Rapido, antes de les que se vuelvan. Cave un agujero y entiérreme. Por favor.
Quick, before they come back. Dig a hole and bury me. Please.
Andy, you turned in to a real boy!
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