“Things Are Looking Down (Episode 75)” quotes from Red vs Blue

Andy, this is Doc, Doc, this is Andy. Uh, Andy, Doc is here to help Tucker, and he's also our worst enemy, you know, besides the Reds, and Tex on certain days.

Well, thank you for introducing me to your bowling ball. Hello bowling ball.

Actually, I'm a bomb.

It can talk?

Why is it the first thing everybody says to me?!

A talking bomb you say? Hmm, I could use a fellow like you in my organisation, heh heh.

Yeah, I should probably point out that Andy here was specifically designed to blow up and kill you.

I see... well, this is certainly awkward.

KABOOM!

[recoiling] Satan's bunions!

Ha ha ha! I was just kidding, I didn't really explode! heh heh!

Ha ha ha ha. Good one.

Yes highly amusive.

Sarge

Lopez? Donut, where did you find him?

Right here.

How were you two talking? Lopez, do you speak English now?

No.

No.

Well, if he doesn't then why did he just say no in English? Busted.

I took four years of high school Spanish. That's the best way to learn any language.

Sarge

What've you two been talkin' about?

Oh, the usual Spanish fare. I told him my name, I asked him what his name was, I asked if he knew where the bathroom was, how much a ticket for the train costs, and I asked him for the cheque.

Haga por favor que el hombre rosado para el hablando con mí.

Please make the pink one stop talking to me.

Sarge

Ask him where he's been - No, ask him where he's going - Wait, ask him if he has our secret plans. And if he missed me.

¿Lopez, que es el tiempo?

Lopez, do you know what time it is?

Voy a ir a la playa con mi primo qui juega el tenis.

I am going to the beach with my cousin who likes to play tennis.

Yo comido un lápiz.

I ate a pencil.

Adios!

...

...

Hmm, looks like he's not talkin', Sarge.

This guy sounds just like the guy the Blues were talking to; Vic Jr. I'll bet his kid's changed sides.

Sarge

Eggs Benedict Arnold! Those dirty traitors!

Sarge

No offence, Simmons.

None taken, Sir.

Sarge

...Traitor.

God dammit!