The first time you came here you didn't know anything about me. I could have done anything to you.
I was pretty sure you were going to fuck me.
S2[Episode 210]
S2[Episode 211]
I just dropped by to let you know that I'm not gonna be at the wedding. I'm going to the White Party in Miami instead. Later!
You can't ditch my special day!
MMel
You selfish prick!
As usual, objectivity falls to me. Think - you don't really want me there, do you? I have to be chemically depended just to show up. I'll be drunk, I'll be bored - not to mention better looking than the brides. I'll offend all the dykes, I'll heckle the ceremony, table dance at the reception and inevitably fuck every good looking guy - gay, straight or undecided - in the place. Finally, I'll pass out - naked - bitching about the cheap booze.You'll lose your dignity, your friends and your shirts paying for the damages. Hell, I'm doing you a favor getting out of town.
MLMel and Lindsey
… Have a safe trip.
S2[Episode 211]
[out of breath] I can't go on. We've walked how far, 100 blocks in 100 hours?
Try two blocks in about 11 minutes.
Oh. Seems a lot longer when you're shopping for lesbians.
S2[Episode 211]
Competition: world class. Wardrobe: crucial. Margin for error: zero. So long, Pittsburgh; hello, Miami Vice!
I thought your all-expenses-paid fuck-fest was just for the weekend?
Each beach party has its own theme and a strict dress code. The White Party: 15,000 horny queers all in white.
I'll be busy, too. I have a paper due on Renaissance art...
Then there's the muscle beach party...
Then there's the laundry and, of course, the wedding...
I mustn't forget the Cowboy contest...
I have to remember to write to my Grandmother...
S2[Episode 211]
Look, just take it back.
I can't take it back!
What store did you buy it at?
I didn't get it at a store!
Where'd you get it?
Off a blanket.
A blanket?! You bought Lindsay and Melanie's wedding gift from some street corner Sister?!
It's from Chuck, it's a little country next to Chad.
Chuck, Chad, they sound like a couple of homo's!
It's the perfect gift.
Perfectly hideous!
It's a work of art!
It's a piece of shit!
It's symbolic of love and pride!
It's symbolic of stupidity and bad taste.
Michael You take that back!
I can't! [in a mocking voice] I got it off a blanket!
Look, the next time you want to buy a gift, buy it yourself!
That's what I was counting on you for.
You were too busy bringing joy to the world.
That's because I'm a success!
You can take your success and shove it... I'm sure you won't have any trouble figuring out where!
Yeah, I'll just ask Chuck and Chad!
S2[Episode 211]
Anyone who values themselves because of their ass... is an ass.
S2[Episode 211]
Christ, send in a dyke to do a faggot's work.
S2[Episode 211]
My pecker's all a-twitter.
S2[Episode 211]
So you're standing me up to see two dykes tie the knot?
Yeah, I guess I am. You're angry?
I think you are a selfish heartless asshole... Keep up the good work!
S2[Episode 212]
I'm a vulgar girl.
S2[Episode 212]
What's the kinkiest thing you've ever done with a guy?
It's too weird to talk about.
Come on, dish!
Hm.. Kinky.. Kinky... Well, one night I went to this guys house and... I stayed over.
S2[Episode 212]
[talking about Dumpster Boy]
What can you do?
I don't know... find out who he was.
That's what the police are for.
Those fat fucks!
S2[Episode 212]
[about Garths party] Why would I want to hang out with a bunch of arrogant, self-important assholes?
'cause you fit right in?
S2[Episode 212]
You know he's like a German train? He always comes in on time.
S2[Episode 212]
Christ! Doesn't anyone introduce themselves before the fuck?! … Sorry.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Queer as Folk (US) pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.