Arthur Smith quotes from QI

Arthur Smith

It’s marvellous to be six because you’re not aware of your own mortality. You think you’re the centre of the universe... Days last a hundred years! It’s always summer! You can put your head in some custard and no one cares.

Arthur Smith

Here's a quite interesting fact: as we know, at the end of a marvellous performance, when we see a live show, and you think it's fabulous and you want more, you shout, "Encore" …

Stephen Fry

Yes …

Arthur Smith

Do you know what the French shout?

Stephen Fry

"Bis"?

Arthur Smith

Oh yeah, you do know.

Arthur Smith

D'you know what you should drink with the beating heart of a cobra? This is a dish in China where you get a cobra—and it's brought to the table alive. They then slice it open, rip the heart out, and it's beating on the plate there—you have to chase it round the plate, I s'pose—and then you drink the blood of the snake as the wine.

Clive Anderson

Actually, I ordered the lasagne …

Arthur Smith

I had occasion to hire a theatrical duck, once …

Clive Anderson

A luvvie duck!

In my career, I've had occasion to hire many, many an animal, but the most expensive was a pelican.

Stephen Fry

Was it an enormous bill?