Rhod Gilbert quotes from QI

Rhod Gilbert

He looks like a cross between a Bond villain and Augustus Gloop.

Alan Davies

I haven't understood any of the words so far.

Stephen Fry

Macerating, what do you think that means?

Alan Davies

No, I don't know. Something you do in the garden, I'd've thought.

Stephen Fry

No, that's masturbating.

Rhod Gilbert

You clearly have a much more private garden than I've got.

Alan Davies

[About the klaxon.] Why weren’t things going off then? If I’d said things, it would all have gone off!

Rhod Gilbert

Finally you’ve worked out the pattern.

Alan Davies

Whenever you guessing things, it goes off! That’s how it works. Just cos she’s a girl.

Stephen Fry

Oh, now.

Cariad Lloyd

Aw, she’s a girl who knew the right answer.

Sandi Toksvig

What is the worst thing that doggers ever experienced?

Rhod Gilbert

Child locks.

Rhod Gilbert

Forced air? I never heard the term. I'm forty…??? late forties. I'm not gonna bother sitting here working it out. I'm fifty soon, I never heard the term forced...well, not in that context.

Sandi Toksvig

I love the fact, Rhod, that I'm asking you some quite complicated science question and you don't know how old you are.

Rhod Gilbert

[scribbles] I'm about forty nine.

Sandi Toksvig

Have you just worked it out?

Rhod Gilbert

Yeah. [laughter] I'm so used to saying “I'm fifty in a few years”, I'm so used to saying that, that for a moment...

Sandi Toksvig

[to Rhod Gilbert] The thing is though, it is quite good to know how old you are and the producer just told me in my ear that you are forty eight.

Rhod Gilbert

What are we talking about?

Sandi Toksvig

Hidden. Underwater cables.

Rhod Gilbert

Oh, yeah.

Sandi Toksvig

You're forty eight!

Rhod Gilbert

Spying was a lot more hassle in those days. Now all you need is somebody's maiden name and their pet's name and you're off.

Alan Davies

If you're a Russian you just have to go and see Donald Trump and ask him.

Rhod Gilbert

I've been to the bottom of the sea.

Really? What's down there?

Rhod Gilbert

My feet.