Clive Anderson quotes from QI

Alan Davies

Cut the long story short, they airbrushed her nipples out of the poster. Her nipples were showing through her costume, just the two little… [motions with his hands]

Clive Anderson

But this is radio!

Alan Davies

[laughing] Not just for the radio. And, uh, she had complained about it. "So why have you airbrushed my nipples, that's ridiculous. Why don't you just leave them?" And the presenter said: "Well, perhaps they thought they weren't suitable for children".

Stephen Fry

Children were always beaten. Really, we are the first generation - Um, I'm not. I was beaten huge about when I was a child in prep school.

Clive Anderson

Really?

Stephen Fry

God, yes. From age seven 'til thirteen, at least twice a week. I was a bad boy, and I was always being thrashed.

Clive Anderson

What for?

Stephen Fry

Oh, stealing, lying, cheating, um, being cheeky, being a nuisance, evading games…

Clive Anderson

Bit of a smartarse, were you?

Stephen Fry

Yeah, being a smartarse...

Clive Anderson

...being too clever for your own good. That sort of thing. Always telling everyone what was going on.

Stephen Fry

All things that annoyed people about...

Clive Anderson

Well, they certainly beat that out of you, didn't they?

Sandi Toksvig

There a some fantastic places in Newfoundland. Conception Bay South...

Jimmy Carr

Conception Bay South? Yeah, that's what I call it, she doesn't like it. She thinks it's too formal. 'Come on love, let's have a look at Conception Bay South.'

Clive Anderson

What about Conception Bay North?

Jimmy Carr

Well, that's a special treat for birthdays.

Sandi Toksvig

Right, my question is, who invented this?

Alan Davies

Isn't it Winston Churchill?

Jimmy Carr

You were so epically wrong there, the buzzer didn't even went off.

Sandi Toksvig

I want it to be Winston Churchill.

Clive Anderson

We normally call it Newton's Balls, don't we?

Jimmy Carr

I think Newton's Cradle would be…

Sandi Toksvig

I think Newton's Cradle…

Clive Anderson

I'm afraid I went to a rougher school than you.

Sandi Toksvig

I think, if Newton had that many balls, it's no wonder he discovered gravity.