David Mitchell quotes from QI

Stephen Fry

C is ultrapure water.

Sue Perkins

Can I have C?

Stephen Fry

That’s your choice?

Sue Perkins

Oh. No.

David Mitchell

To be fair, we don't know whether Sue meant C as in C or C as in sea.

Stephen Fry

You little devil.

Stephen Fry

When do you think, I’ll give you five years either way, was the first airline stewardess?

David Mitchell

I think 200 years before the first aeroplane. I think it was a weird, pointless scheme by a futurologist. Just went up and down a field with a trolley asking the cattle, ‘drink, sir?’

David Mitchell

Why isn't there actually a fish that lives in trees or on the land, cause, there's, you know, there are penguins which live in the sea and mammals that live in the sea. Why hasn't a fish had the gumption to start living like a rabbit?

Sandi Toksvig

I think it's lack of ambition.

David Mitchell

Bats! Bats are mammals, they can fly...it just doesn't make sense. The fish aren't trying.

Sandi Toksvig

No. I think what you need to do is to start diving and give those fish a good talking to.

David Mitchell

I wouldn't need to dive if there were fish running on [drowned out by laughter]

Sandi Toksvig

The mangrove killifish lives on land.

David Mitchell

Well done!