PDPierre Despereaux
Have you guys ever seen those Batman movies? [takes out a grappling hook gun, shoots it in the air onto the roof, and disappears] Toodle-oo!
S5 E10Extradition Part II: The Actual Extradition Part
S5 E11In Plain Fright
Wait a second, you're mad at me for not being mad?
I'm shocked at you for not being shocked!
Gus, don't be the only black lead on a major cable network.
Ken!
No way.
Yes way... in a big way. Can I have your keys?
What?
I just saw a guy get killed.
Where?
In the murder room at the haunted house.
Isn't that what's suppose to happen?
Real guy, real murder.
Did you tell anyone?
We told Carol. But she was so busy texting with Bad Grammar Todd that she didn't care.
Will you let that go?
"Bitchin'", Gus. "Bit-Chin". It's the only word I insist people get right. Otherwise, you're saying it's bichin which is chinese for "too much face". Isn't that right, Ken?
Seriously, dude. I already told you last time: six words. Now why don't you just go tell somebody else?
We're telling you, Ken, and you wanna know why? Because it's high time we got the team back together, man. This is the type of big money case that will allow us to hire back our best Asian assistant ever. 3 Ninjas, Mega Mountain, reunited and it feels... so good.
I like that song.
Are you in?
I'm out.
So am I.
I didn't ask you.
Okay, just go with me here for a second. I know this is gonna sound crazy but what I'm thinking is we don't go to opening night of Scare Fest. We go next week maybe sometime in the afternoon when its not crowded at all.
Are you kidding? I spent the entire week finishing my route early. I took a vacation day.
Oh no, Gus, why would you do that?
You asked me to.
When?
The day they announced that they having Scare Fest again.
I don't recall that.
I have your speech as a video file on my Blackberry, Shawn.
All right, okay, enough with all the technology. Look, the truth is it's my horoscope: it says I should avoid places with urinal troughs and I just don't feel I can take the risk right now. I'm sure you understand. [Gus sobs quietly]
Are you crying?
I'm disappointed, Shawn.
God. [Gus continues to sob]
EAEve Asher
When I heard two boys snuck onto a ride, I wasn't expecting this.
Why, because he's black?
What are you doing?!
I'm playing the race card.
Even if that was OK for you, you're playing it wrong.
I doubled down.
S5 E12Dual Spires
That owl is made entirely out of cinnamon!
Which means it is both wise and delicious.
MMaudette
Isn't cherry the best?
Best what?
MMaudette
Everything, silly.
Oh Sheriff. Didn't expect to see you here.
SASheriff Andrew Jackson
I live here. What do you mean?
Of course you do. You're Randy's father. Yes, wow. You guys have Bob Barker, Doc Gooden, and Randy Jackson, all living in the same inlet town with no cars, cell phones, or internet.
Shawn, we need to pitch this to Mark Burnett!
We're not here to judge you, Mr. Barker. We came to investigate, catch bad guys and eat pie.
Not necessarily in that order.
And it hasn't been.
No.
We started with the pie.
Always.
Labradoodle!
Where?
S5 E13We'd Like to Thank the Academy
[to Lassiter, after pulling him over] Have you been drinking, sir?
That's it!
Sir, if you don't calm down I will be forced to tase you in the face.
You don't have a taser.
[wearing a police uniform, selecting doughnuts in a store] I don't know if it's this uniform, but I've never craved doughnuts before in my life.
[to Shawn] And you... Okay, where is Mr. Guster?
Chief, I'm afraid that what we may be dealing with is an, um, I.B.S. situation. I don't know if you've seen the commercials.
I've seen the commercials.
Well, then you know it can be spotty--
[interrupting] Oh God, please, stop talking!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Psych pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.