Scenes with Him 32
[Mojo Jojo and Moko Jono are screaming their heads off, making everyone cover their ears in irritation, including the other Beat-Alls]
HHim
[effeminate] Mojo! Mojo! [demonic] MOJO!
HHim
[effeminate] I STILL DON'T GET IT!
THE LOUDER YOU YELL, THE MORE PAIN IT CAUSES THE LISTENER! AND THEIR PAIN IS OUR PLEASURE!
[Several citizens are shown covering their ears, including the Beatles themselves]
HHim
[demonic] UGH! MOJO, YOU'RE A PAIN!
FPFuzzy, Princess and Him
WE QUIT!
GOOD, GOOD! BUT EVEN LOUDER!
[The other Beat-Alls groan and storm off]
HHim
[effeminate] Let's get back to where we once belonged.
[Bubbles uses the chalk to turn all the other monsters into happy drawings. Him is enraged]
HHim
You can't do that! You're supposed to express your anger!
I am. I'm just expressing it in a positive way. And I think you were more positive when you were a cute... little... butterfly! [Uses her chalk to draw on Him, turning him into a butterfly, embarrassing Him] What do you think, girls?
HHim
NO! [disappears in a flash of light]
[The monsters turn back into harmless chalk drawings]
Yeah, you rock, Bubbles! [Quickly her emotion fades. She looks down at the ground, remorseful for how she acted earlier] Um...I, uh...um...well, I...
[she hugs Buttercup] That's okay. I forgive you.
[After the girls solve the first riddle]
HHim
[effeminate voice] Congratulations! One down, eight to go. And remember, you must solve these riddles within the time limit. Fail in any aspect and [demonic voice] the Professor will pay!
You tell us where the Professor is, Him!
HHim
[effeminate] Ah-ah-ah. You've brought joy to the people for so many years. Now to their eyes, you must bring tears. [demonic] You've got two minutes.
[After the girls solve the third riddle]
We did it, Him. Now what?
HHim
[effeminate] Well, well. Presidential Fitness Awards all around. [demonic] Now let's excercise your brain! [effeminate] Train A left Pokey Oaks train station at 11:40 at a hundred miles per hour. Train B left Norwalk Station 10 minutes later at 90 miles per hour heading towards Train A. [demonic] Where will they collide?
Bubbles! Think of the Professor!
HHim
[effeminate] You've got one minute!
[After the girls solve the fourth riddle]
HHim
[effeminate] Well, girls, you caught these two trains right on time.
We're finished with this nonsense, Him! Now where's the Professor?
HHim
But I've only just started! In the ear of corn, you will find happiness, joy, and the ties that bind. Squirrels store nuts and birds sing songs, but in the Cave of Eternity, everyone's wrong. On the limb of a tree, there's a monkey who's free, and there he will give you something for me. [demonic] You've got two minutes; 45 seconds!
[The Girls solve the fifth riddle, which ironically took place during the commercial break. Him licks an ice cream]
HHim
[effeminate] I can't believe you got that one right! You got the right flavor and everything!
Ooh, ooh! I know, I know! Ms. Keanes... who will the other Ms. Keane say is the real Ms. Keane?
[The two Keanes exchange a nervous glance]
K2Keane 2
She would say that I was the real Ms. Keane!
K1Keane 1
And she would say that she was the real Ms. Keane!
It’s so apparent! It's obvious that the liar would say that the real Ms. Keane would say that the fake Ms. Keane is the real Ms. Keane. And conversely, the real Ms. Keane would say that the fake Ms. Keane would say she is the real Ms. Keane. So therefore, the real Ms. Keane is none other than... number two! [Bubbles and Buttercup look at Him who is stunned]
HHim
[shrugs] She's right.
HHim
[effeminate] Time's up! Put your #2 pencils down and pass your papers forward. Let's start with Buttercup's results, shall we? 25.
HHim
Next, Blossom's. 10.
HHim
And finally, Bubbles.
[She only filled in the dots to draw a flower]
[Bubbles' score is 1075, much to everyone's surprise]
HHim
Well, I'll be darned. [demonic] You will not defeat me, you little brats! The Professor will pay!
[After the girls solve the seventh riddle, a lizard monster appears in the city]
HHim
[effeminate] Let's see if you can defeat this monster.
HHim
Ah-ah-ah. You didn't let me finish. You must get rid of this little guy without using your superpowers.
[After the girls solve the eighth riddle]
HHim
[demonic] NO! You brats shouldn't have gotten this far!
One riddle left, Him, and the Professor is good as ours!
HHim
[effeminate] We'll see, won't we? You will find your Professor when you solve this last rhyme: "Where is boiling and freezing at the same time?" [Laughs] The Professor [demonic] will pay! [effeminate] 30 seconds.
Okay, Him - hand over the Professor.
HHim
[effeminate] Too late, Girls, you failed. [demonic] The Professor is going to pay! [laughs]
HHim
[demonic] Time to pay... [suddenly rings up a cash register; effeminate] That'll be 7.95, please.
HHim
[effeminate] You see, I bet the Professor here a free breakfast if you girls could solve all my riddles. But you failed. [demonic] And now he has to pay full price!
[crossly] Here's your money, Him! Your flapjacks are good, but not that good! I'm never eating here again! Come on, Girls. Let's go eat at the other restaurant. [storms out]
HHim
[effeminate] Wait! Wait, come back! I'll make my flapjacks cheaper!
[The Powerpuff Girls stare at the camera, stunned and confused]
[just as confused] And so... err... hmm... yeah.
HHim
Let's see how good you are on the SAT's.
[Bubbles and Buttercup glare at Blossom]
HHim
You must score a 100 in order to pass, you got one minute.
[Buttercup chews nervously on her pencil, Blossom breezes by it, Bubbles start to fill in the scan-tron in the shape of a flower]
HHim
Times up! Please pass your test forward. Now, lets start with Buttercup's...
[Ding]
[Ding]
[Holds up test]
[Ding]: 1025
HHim
Well I'll be danged. You brats won't beat me that easy!
[After finding out that it's "Him" all along, Blossom becomes determined to face her fear in the dream world]
HKHim/Ms. Keane
[effeminate voice] Sure, next question. [demonic voice] What is the square root of seven?! [Him and the schoolchildren laugh]
Seven doesn't have a square root. It's prime!
[Everyone stops laughing]
HKHim/Ms. Keane
That is... [effeminate] correct. What is the algebraic formula for determining the area of a triangle?
Half the base times height!
HKHim/Ms. Keane
That's correct. If a train leaves Boston at 12:30 PM traveling at 75 miles per hour, and another train leaves Los Angeles at the same time traveling at 90 miles per hour... [demonic] which one will get to Cuba first?!
Neither! Trains don't go to Cuba, "Ms. Keane"!
HKHim/Ms. Keane
[effeminate] Well, how perspective of you. Oh, well. [throws question cards away; demonic] Tests bore me. You think you're so smart, don't you?
I outsmarted you, didn't I?
HHim
Please! No more! Don't hurt me! I don't understand. [demonic] I was so close! [effeminate] I almost had you. You are supposed to be afraid!
Guess you should've done your homework, weirdo.
We're sisters and we love each other!
And we're not afraid of anything as long as we have each other.
Gimme a break, you two! Yab-yab-yab! Can I toss this guy, already?
[Pause]
HHim
No, wait! It's cool! It's cool! Everything's cool! [Buttercup punches Him into a black hole] NO!
[Him interrupts the fight between the Powerpuff Girls and Rowdyruff Boys]
HHim
[effeminate voice] Hello, girls!
HHim
So nice to see you again! How's things? Not so good? Having a little boy trouble, hmm? Or should I say... [demonic voice] BIG boy trouble?!
[The Boys - now huge after being kissed by the Girls several times - land behind Him]
HHim
[effeminate] Hello, Boys. [demonic] You're doing just fine. [to the Girls, effeminate] So, how does it feel, Girls, to know defeat is just around the corner... [demonic] and victory for me is at hand?!
So you're behind this, Him! What did you do to make our kisses powerless?!
HHim
[effeminate] Oh, that. That's my little secret. You see, I realized that the Boys' only weakness [demonic] was your pathetic little kisses. And since I [effeminate] knew you would resort to that, I added a little something extra: a cootie vaccination! "Circle, Circle, Dot, Dot; now you have a cootie shot!" [laughs] I got the spell off the Internet.
And in their day, the Girls even manage to humble...Him.
[In his lair, Him is angrily watching the Powerpuff Girls on TV having saved the day once again]
[on TV] Yeah, it was rough in the beginning, but I paced myself and just wore the monster down.
[on TV] We were just glad to be of service. Good job, girls!
HHim
[mocking Blossom; effeminate voice] "We were just glad to be of service. Good job, girls!" [demonic voice] Blah! Blast the Powerpuff brats! They disgust me! So...effortless! They seem to be unbeatable. [effeminate] All these years, and all the villains have produced nothing! So much time, such little results. [demonic] There must be a way! There must be someone who can knock those brats down to size! [groans and sits down on his chair; effeminate] Oh, boy. [suddenly sees something on the TV and slowly smiles; demonic] Oh, boy...
The Powerpuff Girls · 276 quotes
