Cookie quotes from Pound Puppies

Cookie

Hey, they don't call me "the Cookinator" for nothing.

[sighs]

Lucky

Hey, kid. Feeling a little down in the muzzle?

Nah, I'm okay. A little sore around the collar is all.

Lucky

Well, old Kecthum can be kind of rough, but he's okay once you've got him trained. They call me Lucky, by the way. On account of my great good fortune.

Well, they call me Yipper, for no particular reason at all.

Lucky

Well, Yipper, welcome to Shelter 17, the cooshest pound this side of paradise.

What's so coosh about it? Looks like any other joint I've been in.

Lucky

That's 'cause you're only viewing it from the top side.

Top side? Well, what other side is there?

Lucky

Funny you should ask.

What the heck?!

Lucky

After you.

Wow!

Lucky

Pretty cool, huh?

[on phone] Hello, Pet Mart? We need 600 pounds of chewies delivered asap.

Y-you guys talk to humans?

Lucky

Well, only when they don't know it, and only when absolutely necessary.

Wait! You're the Pound Puppies! I thought you guys were just a legend.

Lucky

Oh no, we're real all right. If a dog needs a home, we're the ones to find him one. No matter how much the humans mess things up.

Cookie

Oof!

Oh, excuse me.

Cookie

What are you doing down here, mutt?!

Well, uh...

Cookie

Don't you know this a command center? No unauthorized dogs without proper identifi --

Lucky

Down, Cookie! He's a new guy, a stray.

Cookie

A stray?! Oh, sorry, pumpkin. I didn't know. I'm Cookie. Listen, if anyone gives you any trouble, just let me know and I'll chew them out.

Oh, gee. You don't have to yell at anybody for me.

Cookie

No, I mean literally chew them out...with my teeth.

Uh, thanks, I-I guess.

Cookie

Oh, no trouble at all. Okay, I'm out of here, Luck. Gotta go walk my human.

You got a human?

Cookie

'Course I do! Half the dogs down here got homes on the outside.

Wow!

Cookie

And remember, ...with my teeth.

Oh boy, she's tough.

Lucky

Yeah, and that's when she's in a good mood.

Niblet

Lucky! Lucky! I got something important to tell ya! Really, really, really important!

Lucky

Yipper, meet Niblet.

Niblet

Oh, hiya, Yipper! Welcome to our secret headquarters! Secret, but fun!

Lucky

So, Niblet, what's so important?

Niblet

Um...I forgot.

Lucky

Good guy, that Niblet. Just don't let him bury your bone, or you'll never see it again.

Strudel

[from another room] No, no, no, no! You're doing it all wrong!

Lucky

You better meet Strudel. Possibly the smartest wiener dog the world has ever known.

Strudel

You've got the diodes connected to the transmuter, and the transmuter connected to the L.E.D.! Didn't anyone look at the schematics?!

Strudel

Oh, if only I had opposable thumbs!

Strudel

What, Mr. Nut-Nut? You got it working? Oh, finally my work of staggering genius is complete! Let's give it a shot.

Lucky

Move aside, move aside! Give him air.

Niblet

Oh no! Is he --

Lucky

Playing dead? I'm afraid so.

[With eyes closed, muttering] My person...my person...oh...

Lucky

Yipper! Yipper! It's worse than I thought. Emergency wiener, stat!

Huh? Oh, gee, thanks, guys. I was having the craziest dream. I-I met this boy, see, and he was perfect and --

Lucky

It wasn't a dream, Yipper. The kid was here.

[crying hysterically]

Cookie

Good job, doc.

Cookie

What the heck is that?

Lucky

It's called a flyer. Humans stick them up all over the place.

Cookie

You made it yourself?

Squirt

Of course not. What do you think, I'm crawling with thumbs? I called it in to the printers, and they delivered it.

Strudel

You are a genius, Squirt! I mean, not technically speaking, but, well, you know.

Lucky

Did you tell them to print exactly what I said?

Squirt

Absolutely. [clears throat] "Perky, adorable puppy for adoption..."

Throw me the ball! Throw me the ball!

Squirt

"One-of-a-kind royal dog with million-dollar fortune." I added that part.

Throw me the stick! Throw me the stick!

Squirt

"If interested, come to Shelter 17, Elm Street, Downtown".

Lucky

Fine. Now about getting those flyers posted --

Squirt

Already done. I called in some favors -- A pigeon here, a squirrel there. Bada bing, bada boom -- You got 200 of these things on lampposts, mailboxes, phone poles all over the city.

Cookie

Baby dog, sometimes you amaze me.

Squirt

Eh, it ain't nothing. It's like they say, you scratch my belly, I scratch yours. Now excuse me while I go take a nap. I've been, uh, scratching a lot of bellies, if you know what I mean.

Strudel

Actually, I don't know what he means.

Cookie

And I don't want to know.

Agatha

Well, good, because dogs are horrible, ugly, smelly creatures. If I ever came across one, I'd make into soup.

McLeish

[whimpers]

Lucky

Wow. That old lady's meaner than a junkyard human.

Cookie

Who cares? With food like this, I wish she'd visit everyday.

Squirt

Yeah, I'm surprised that chowhound, Niblet, ain't here, wolfing this stuff down. Where's he at, anyway?

Lucky

Yeah, good question. I've been looking for him all over, and...

Niblet

Yeah, okay, Rebound. Let's play hide and go seek. You count to a billion.

(counting rapidly) 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14...

Cookie

[to Lucky] She's gonna count all the way to a billion, isn't she?

Lucky

I think she just might.

...999,999,999, a billion! Ready or not, here I come!

Cookie

Oh, why, Lucky...

Lucky

[chuckles]

Cookie

...get off my belly!

Gonna find ya! Gonna find ya! Yay, yay, yay! Come on, come on, come on! Gonna find ya! Gonna find ya!

Lucky

Uh oh.

Agatha

Well, Leonard, I must say, your workplace looks remarkably not entirely disappointing.

McLeish

Oh, Mother, that's the most loving thing you've ever said to me. And I assure you, I'm just as important as these buildings look.

Cookie

Lucky, I need to talk to you.

Lucky

(still smiling) What is it, Cooks?

Cookie

It's about Dolly.

Lucky

(trancelike) Dolly?

Cookie

Lucky?!

Dolly

You know what I think, Cookie? This isn't about all the guys. I think it's about one guy in particular.

Cookie

I don't know what you're talking about.

Dolly

You don't, huh? Well, I wonder if you'd be this upset if you didn't see Lucky acting a little goofy, too.

Cookie

What?! That's the most... Yeah, all right. I admit it.

Cookie

So, who's the target?

Strudel

Name -- Becky O'Bannon, 9 years old. Has been wanting a puppy since she was 3. She and Wagster match up in the 99th percentile on the pup-to-person ratio chart.

Niblet

Wagster's got a human friend! Wagster's got a human friend!

Squirt

That's the whole point, nimrod.

Niblet

Oh, yeah.

Niblet

Oh, they're gonna humiliorate my poor sis! She's gonna be the laughing-sock of the whole show!

Strudel

Well, that's the pageant game.

Cookie

What do you know about it?

Strudel

You kidding? I was a show dog myself back in the old country. My stage name was Strudel Die Schnitzel Von Wiener.

Lucky

Rebound? Rebound, are you under there?

(from somewhere in the bleachers) No!

Cookie

Good thing brains isn't a part of the competition.

Lucky

Everyone know the plan?

Cookie

Yeah, but I still don't get why this guy has five of everything.

Strudel

It's a common human sales strategy. For some reason, they like to see us animals selling them products.

Squirt

Yeah, I knew a marmot once who got his picture on boxes of nuts. Guy was fixed for life -- all of the pistachios he could eat.

Niblet

Wow! Can I get my picture on a bag of marshmallows, Lucky? 'Cause I love marshmallows, and I want to be fixed for life, too. I mean, not fixed fixed, but, you know...

Cookie

They're not over here.

Squirt

They're not over here either.

Niblet

Why did my little buddies run away?! Why?!

Strudel

They couldn't have gotten far. They have little, tiny legs.

Cookie

We better split up. You guys go that way, we'll go this way.

Squirt

Right!

Oof!

Cookie

[groans] Where's Lucky when you need him?!

Cookie

Hey, uh, Strudel, did you fix that grappling hook for me?

Strudel

Indeed I did, Cookie.

Cookie

(muffled): Thanks!

Strudel

-- sion with you guys.

Squirt

Hey, Strooge. About that next mission...

Strudel

Yes?

Squirt

I could really use you...

Strudel

Yes?!

Squirt

...to fix my laser headset.

Lucky

The Shanghai in China?!

Strudel

Uh huh!

Cookie

Our map doesn't even go to China.

Strudel

But the plane also made a number of stops along the way to drop off cargo -- [points to different parts of the map] here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here. And here.

Cookie

Great. They could be anywhere. We'll never find them.

Lucky

Not necessarily. After all, we're part of an international organization. Strudel, get on the phone. Contact every branch of the Pound Puppy network in every one of these places.

Strudel

You've got it, boss.

Lucky

(to himself): We'll find you guys. Just hold tight, have faith, and please, don't do anything stupid.