Strudel quotes from Pound Puppies

Strudel

You are a star -- a big, beautiful, odd-bodied, short-legged star.

Strudel

Yes, ABC Parcel Express Flight 597.

Strudel

I already called that number and 15 others. They're all useless recordings.

Strudel

I know I could find the information online, but I wouldn't be able to read it, would I, because I'm a -- Oh, never mind. It's complicated.

Strudel

(to Spotty): I'm rather curious about that, uh, pup.

Strudel

I was on the internet, when I came across this video. I warn you, what you are about to see, is disturbing.

Strudel

This all is just a legend -- superstitious nonsense. Mummies don't come back to life. It's impossible. Or is it? Dun! Dun! Dun!

Strudel

Lucky, do I hear Dot with you?

Strudel

But she can't be in there. I didn't calculate her weight, and I don't think the vent will... (vent breaks) ...hold her. (Sparky turns the lights back on)

[sighs]

Lucky

Hey, kid. Feeling a little down in the muzzle?

Nah, I'm okay. A little sore around the collar is all.

Lucky

Well, old Kecthum can be kind of rough, but he's okay once you've got him trained. They call me Lucky, by the way. On account of my great good fortune.

Well, they call me Yipper, for no particular reason at all.

Lucky

Well, Yipper, welcome to Shelter 17, the cooshest pound this side of paradise.

What's so coosh about it? Looks like any other joint I've been in.

Lucky

That's 'cause you're only viewing it from the top side.

Top side? Well, what other side is there?

Lucky

Funny you should ask.

What the heck?!

Lucky

After you.

Wow!

Lucky

Pretty cool, huh?

[on phone] Hello, Pet Mart? We need 600 pounds of chewies delivered asap.

Y-you guys talk to humans?

Lucky

Well, only when they don't know it, and only when absolutely necessary.

Wait! You're the Pound Puppies! I thought you guys were just a legend.

Lucky

Oh no, we're real all right. If a dog needs a home, we're the ones to find him one. No matter how much the humans mess things up.

Cookie

Oof!

Oh, excuse me.

Cookie

What are you doing down here, mutt?!

Well, uh...

Cookie

Don't you know this a command center? No unauthorized dogs without proper identifi --

Lucky

Down, Cookie! He's a new guy, a stray.

Cookie

A stray?! Oh, sorry, pumpkin. I didn't know. I'm Cookie. Listen, if anyone gives you any trouble, just let me know and I'll chew them out.

Oh, gee. You don't have to yell at anybody for me.

Cookie

No, I mean literally chew them out...with my teeth.

Uh, thanks, I-I guess.

Cookie

Oh, no trouble at all. Okay, I'm out of here, Luck. Gotta go walk my human.

You got a human?

Cookie

'Course I do! Half the dogs down here got homes on the outside.

Wow!

Cookie

And remember, ...with my teeth.

Oh boy, she's tough.

Lucky

Yeah, and that's when she's in a good mood.

Niblet

Lucky! Lucky! I got something important to tell ya! Really, really, really important!

Lucky

Yipper, meet Niblet.

Niblet

Oh, hiya, Yipper! Welcome to our secret headquarters! Secret, but fun!

Lucky

So, Niblet, what's so important?

Niblet

Um...I forgot.

Lucky

Good guy, that Niblet. Just don't let him bury your bone, or you'll never see it again.

Strudel

[from another room] No, no, no, no! You're doing it all wrong!

Lucky

You better meet Strudel. Possibly the smartest wiener dog the world has ever known.

Strudel

You've got the diodes connected to the transmuter, and the transmuter connected to the L.E.D.! Didn't anyone look at the schematics?!

Strudel

Oh, if only I had opposable thumbs!

Strudel

What, Mr. Nut-Nut? You got it working? Oh, finally my work of staggering genius is complete! Let's give it a shot.

Cookie

What the heck is that?

Lucky

It's called a flyer. Humans stick them up all over the place.

Cookie

You made it yourself?

Squirt

Of course not. What do you think, I'm crawling with thumbs? I called it in to the printers, and they delivered it.

Strudel

You are a genius, Squirt! I mean, not technically speaking, but, well, you know.

Lucky

Did you tell them to print exactly what I said?

Squirt

Absolutely. [clears throat] "Perky, adorable puppy for adoption..."

Throw me the ball! Throw me the ball!

Squirt

"One-of-a-kind royal dog with million-dollar fortune." I added that part.

Throw me the stick! Throw me the stick!

Squirt

"If interested, come to Shelter 17, Elm Street, Downtown".

Lucky

Fine. Now about getting those flyers posted --

Squirt

Already done. I called in some favors -- A pigeon here, a squirrel there. Bada bing, bada boom -- You got 200 of these things on lampposts, mailboxes, phone poles all over the city.

Cookie

Baby dog, sometimes you amaze me.

Squirt

Eh, it ain't nothing. It's like they say, you scratch my belly, I scratch yours. Now excuse me while I go take a nap. I've been, uh, scratching a lot of bellies, if you know what I mean.

Strudel

Actually, I don't know what he means.

Cookie

And I don't want to know.

Cookie

So, who's the target?

Strudel

Name -- Becky O'Bannon, 9 years old. Has been wanting a puppy since she was 3. She and Wagster match up in the 99th percentile on the pup-to-person ratio chart.

Niblet

Wagster's got a human friend! Wagster's got a human friend!

Squirt

That's the whole point, nimrod.

Niblet

Oh, yeah.

Niblet

Oh, they're gonna humiliorate my poor sis! She's gonna be the laughing-sock of the whole show!

Strudel

Well, that's the pageant game.

Cookie

What do you know about it?

Strudel

You kidding? I was a show dog myself back in the old country. My stage name was Strudel Die Schnitzel Von Wiener.

Lucky

Everyone know the plan?

Cookie

Yeah, but I still don't get why this guy has five of everything.

Strudel

It's a common human sales strategy. For some reason, they like to see us animals selling them products.

Squirt

Yeah, I knew a marmot once who got his picture on boxes of nuts. Guy was fixed for life -- all of the pistachios he could eat.

Niblet

Wow! Can I get my picture on a bag of marshmallows, Lucky? 'Cause I love marshmallows, and I want to be fixed for life, too. I mean, not fixed fixed, but, you know...

Cookie

They're not over here.

Squirt

They're not over here either.

Niblet

Why did my little buddies run away?! Why?!

Strudel

They couldn't have gotten far. They have little, tiny legs.

Cookie

We better split up. You guys go that way, we'll go this way.

Squirt

Right!

Oof!

Cookie

[groans] Where's Lucky when you need him?!

Lucky

Strudel, there you are. Listen, I-I need that radio collar you said you'd --

Strudel

Right here, Lucky.

Lucky

Perfect. Gotta run!

Strudel

Okay, but I wanted to ask if --