Agatha McLeish quotes from Pound Puppies

McLeish

I will grab that sewage with my jaws, and wrestle it into submission. Rawwr!

McLeish

I'm on you like ugly on a dogcatcher's face.

McLeish

Just one more piece and my kite will be--

Hey, McLeish!

McLeish

Huh? Oh, yes. Thank you very much. Bye now! We'll call if we need you.

Uh, what do I gotta do to adopt my boy here one of these dogs?

McLeish

Adopt a dog?! I can't be bothered with adoptions. I need to get ready to show what an efficient pet adopting service I'm running.

McLeish

Jerry -- uh, uh, Mr. Mayor. What a pleasant surprise.

Yeah, yeah, like a tonsillectomy. Look, Lenny, I need your help.

McLeish

My help?

Why do you think I hire my family?

Olaf

Wow, Mr. McLeish. It's like the dog pound Hercules would've worked at if he was a dog catcher.

McLeish

This is no longer a dog pound, Olaf, and I'm no longer a dog catcher. Today, I'm...

Olaf

Oh, that sounds important. What is it?

McLeish

Exactly and exactly. When Mother drops by, she'll be impressed for sure, yet she'll have no idea why. Did I mention I'm a genius?

Olaf

Everyday, sir. But what if the dogs start barking?

McLeish

That's where you come in, Olaf. While my mother's here, it's your job to keep the dogs quiet.

Olaf

Quiet? How am I supposed to keep a pound full of dogs quiet?

McLeish

Here. Take this. It's the key to my personal beef locker. If those mutts so much as make a peep, throw a steak in their jowls.

Olaf

Mmm. Beef.

McLeish

Fine. Throw a steak in your own jowls, too. But keep those dogs quiet. All I can say is Mother better end up proud of me. All this shameless lying is costing me a fortune.

Agatha

I must say, Leonard, this workplace of yours isn't nearly as pathetic as I expected.

McLeish

Well, thank you, Mother.

Agatha

But I still can't get over the feeling that there are dogs around. For instance, why are my shoes covered with these ghastly wads of fur?

McLeish

Aah! No, no, Mother. Honest, it's my fur -- uh, hair.

Agatha

Well, good, because dogs are horrible, ugly, smelly creatures. If I ever came across one, I'd make into soup.

McLeish

[whimpers]

Lucky

Wow. That old lady's meaner than a junkyard human.

Cookie

Who cares? With food like this, I wish she'd visit everyday.

Squirt

Yeah, I'm surprised that chowhound, Niblet, ain't here, wolfing this stuff down. Where's he at, anyway?

Lucky

Yeah, good question. I've been looking for him all over, and...

Niblet

Yeah, okay, Rebound. Let's play hide and go seek. You count to a billion.

(counting rapidly) 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14...

Cookie

[to Lucky] She's gonna count all the way to a billion, isn't she?

Lucky

I think she just might.

...999,999,999, a billion! Ready or not, here I come!

Cookie

Oh, why, Lucky...

Lucky

[chuckles]

Cookie

...get off my belly!

Gonna find ya! Gonna find ya! Yay, yay, yay! Come on, come on, come on! Gonna find ya! Gonna find ya!

Lucky

Uh oh.

Agatha

Well, Leonard, I must say, your workplace looks remarkably not entirely disappointing.

McLeish

Oh, Mother, that's the most loving thing you've ever said to me. And I assure you, I'm just as important as these buildings look.

McLeish

[whimpers] Maybe.

Found you! Oh, Niblet, that was great! We should do this all the time! Don't you think? Don'tcha?! Huh?! We should always be together, just you and me, me and you, you, you, you, me, me, me, brother and sister, together forever and ever --

Niblet

Stop! I can't take it no more!

What do you mean?

Niblet

[groans] All you do is follow me around and jump all over me and lick me! You're the most annoyingest little sister who ever got born, and I don't want to see you ever, ever, ever again!

Okay. If that's what you want. [sniffles]

Agatha

When I got home, I found that adorable little puppy you put in my car.

McLeish

I did? Um, that's right. I did. Because you don't really hate dogs?

Agatha

Well, I always assumed I did, but this puppy is so bouncy and full of life. She makes me feel young again. Now I see just how important your job really is.

Mighty fancy place you got here, Mister Dogcatcher.

McLeish

What? Oh, yes, it's a regular canine Taj Mahal.

Taj Mahal? Oh, I don't know much about basketball players. I'm just a simple junkman. Name's Jim, Junkyard Jim.

McLeish

Gee, I would have pegged you as a Millionaire Monte or a Diplomat Dave.

I love what you've done with the mansion.

Agatha

I love what you've done with your face. You look twenty years younger.

I was being sarcastic.

Agatha

So was I.

McLeish

So, you found him just wandering the fairgrounds, eh, Ketchum? Wonder why he's wearing a vest and hat.

Olaf

Maybe he's in show business.

McLeish

Show business? Where do you get these lame ideas?

Olaf

Uh, from my head.