Squirt quotes from Pound Puppies

Squirt

Fuhgeddaboudit! There's only so far we can go for a pup!

Squirt

...and apparently, just how far's pretty darn far.

Squirt

Squirt, you're a genius -- an evil genius.

Squirt

For once, I gotta to agree with the big guy. Without you, we're nothing. I ain't letting you go.

Back-scratching machine? Boy, she is smart.

Squirt

Psst! Hey, pal!

What? Who-who said that?

Squirt

Down here. Could I interest you in a rubber ball or a squeaky toy? You got the kibble; I got the goods.

Lucky

Better watch out for Squirt, here. He's the best scrounger in the business, but there's always a price.

Squirt

Hey, I ain't in this for my health, you know.

Lucky

Don't you have surveillance duties, Squirt?

Squirt

Alright, I'm goin'. I'm goin'. But, remember, hey -- If you need anything...

Lucky

And these are the rest of the guys. Guys, this is Yipper.

Yipper!

All this to help stray dogs find homes?

Lucky

And to goof on humans, but that's just a perk.

Cookie

What the heck is that?

Lucky

It's called a flyer. Humans stick them up all over the place.

Cookie

You made it yourself?

Squirt

Of course not. What do you think, I'm crawling with thumbs? I called it in to the printers, and they delivered it.

Strudel

You are a genius, Squirt! I mean, not technically speaking, but, well, you know.

Lucky

Did you tell them to print exactly what I said?

Squirt

Absolutely. [clears throat] "Perky, adorable puppy for adoption..."

Throw me the ball! Throw me the ball!

Squirt

"One-of-a-kind royal dog with million-dollar fortune." I added that part.

Throw me the stick! Throw me the stick!

Squirt

"If interested, come to Shelter 17, Elm Street, Downtown".

Lucky

Fine. Now about getting those flyers posted --

Squirt

Already done. I called in some favors -- A pigeon here, a squirrel there. Bada bing, bada boom -- You got 200 of these things on lampposts, mailboxes, phone poles all over the city.

Cookie

Baby dog, sometimes you amaze me.

Squirt

Eh, it ain't nothing. It's like they say, you scratch my belly, I scratch yours. Now excuse me while I go take a nap. I've been, uh, scratching a lot of bellies, if you know what I mean.

Strudel

Actually, I don't know what he means.

Cookie

And I don't want to know.

Agatha

Well, good, because dogs are horrible, ugly, smelly creatures. If I ever came across one, I'd make into soup.

McLeish

[whimpers]

Lucky

Wow. That old lady's meaner than a junkyard human.

Cookie

Who cares? With food like this, I wish she'd visit everyday.

Squirt

Yeah, I'm surprised that chowhound, Niblet, ain't here, wolfing this stuff down. Where's he at, anyway?

Lucky

Yeah, good question. I've been looking for him all over, and...

I say, good fellow, but what on earth is up with that eccentric bespectacled human and his taciturn dog-napping toady?

Squirt

Eh, sorry, pal. I only speak English. And, uh... Do you notice anything -- I don't know -- odd about the twos of us?

Odd? Not as far as I can see. But -- [gasps] Great Gatsby! We look strikingly similar!

Squirt

Fuhgeddaboudit.

Forget about it!

Squirt

Fuhgeddaboudit.

Forget -- I'm sorry. I forgot. What was the line again?

Squirt

Fuhgeddaboudit!

Fuhgeddaboudit! I did it! By George, I did it! [giggles]

Cookie

So, who's the target?

Strudel

Name -- Becky O'Bannon, 9 years old. Has been wanting a puppy since she was 3. She and Wagster match up in the 99th percentile on the pup-to-person ratio chart.

Niblet

Wagster's got a human friend! Wagster's got a human friend!

Squirt

That's the whole point, nimrod.

Niblet

Oh, yeah.

Lucky

Everyone know the plan?

Cookie

Yeah, but I still don't get why this guy has five of everything.

Strudel

It's a common human sales strategy. For some reason, they like to see us animals selling them products.

Squirt

Yeah, I knew a marmot once who got his picture on boxes of nuts. Guy was fixed for life -- all of the pistachios he could eat.

Niblet

Wow! Can I get my picture on a bag of marshmallows, Lucky? 'Cause I love marshmallows, and I want to be fixed for life, too. I mean, not fixed fixed, but, you know...

Cookie

They're not over here.

Squirt

They're not over here either.

Niblet

Why did my little buddies run away?! Why?!

Strudel

They couldn't have gotten far. They have little, tiny legs.

Cookie

We better split up. You guys go that way, we'll go this way.

Squirt

Right!

Oof!

Cookie

[groans] Where's Lucky when you need him?!

Cookie

Hey, uh, Strudel, did you fix that grappling hook for me?

Strudel

Indeed I did, Cookie.

Cookie

(muffled): Thanks!

Strudel

-- sion with you guys.

Squirt

Hey, Strooge. About that next mission...

Strudel

Yes?

Squirt

I could really use you...

Strudel

Yes?!

Squirt

...to fix my laser headset.

Squirt

When I said jump, Niblet, I meant from the same side.

Niblet

Oops. Sorry. Wait! I got a idea!

Squirt

Niblet, no!

Niblet

Aah!

Squirt

Aaaaah! Oof!

Niblet

Squirt, you okay?

Squirt

I will be, Niblet, if from now on you just leave the thinking to me.

Niblet

I'm sorry, Squirt. You're my bestest friend, and I got you trapped on a spooky flight to scaredy land! [sobs]

Squirt

Uh, hey, hey, come on. I mean, sure you did get me trapped on a spooky flight to scaredy land, but, eh, it's not all bad.

Niblet

It's not?

Squirt

Ah, of course it's not, I mean, 'cause, you know, we got each other. We're best buds, Niblet. I got your back...

Niblet

And you have mine!

Squirt

Yeah, yeah. Something like that.

Niblet

Shouldn't we stop and find some shelter? It's getting pretty dark.

Squirt

No. Okay? We got to keep moving. See if we can find a town.

Niblet

Aah! What was that?

Squirt

An owl.

Niblet

A wise and gentle owl?

Squirt

No. A chihuahua-eating owl. Come on!

Squirt

Aah! Hey, it's after us! Run!

Niblet

Whatever you say, buddy!

Aaaaah!

Ow. Ow. Ugh!

Niblet

Ugh. Wow, Squirt. Falling down that cliff was really, really painful, but we sure outsmarted that owl, didn't we? (calls out to the woods): In your beak, owl! Who's wise now?! Hey, squirt. [chuckles]