CookieHey, there. I'm Cookie --
FFang
Cookie? What kind of name is that? Sounds like something a human would think of.
Cookie
As a matter of fact, it is, and --
FFang
Look, Cookie, how about you take your adorable human name, turn around, and go bother someone else? We have nothing to discuss.
Cookie
Oh, really? Well, listen, tough guy. I'm sure the "alpha male" routine works on some dogs, but I've got an operation to run and --
FFang
That's just fascinating. Meanwhile, I've got --
Cookie
You did not just interrupt the Cookie! Honey, right now I don't know who you are or where you come from. What I do know is that you're filthy, and you smell like a dog park dumpster on a hot day in August.
Cookie
Did I ask a question to which the answer is "uh"? Now hush up and listen. You will come out of that kennel and you will take a bath. And once you're clean, you will drop the attitude, you will smile, and you will help us help you out!
Cookie
Really?
FFang
No one's ever talked to me like that. I kinda like it. Name's Fang.
Cookie
Oh, I'm Cookie, w-which you already know. Anyway, uh, come on.
FFang
Fine, but I wash myself.
Cookie
Fine. And then I'll take a look at your paw.
Cookie? Next time I'm a bad dog, will you talk mean to me too?
Cookie
[growls]
So, all we need to do is retrace the route back to your human's cabin. Mission accomplished.
Are you kidding? I can hardly remember the ride over here. I had other things to concentrate on, what with that shifty malcontent aggravating my nervous kidneys.
That does pose a problem.
Wait a minute. Maybe that shifty malcontent's your answer.
Cookie
What are you talking about?
Well, if Buddy and that other dog were picked up around the same place, maybe he can help us get Buddy home.
Brilliant! He may be surly, but a dog will always help out another dog.
FFang
(from washtub) Is that so?
We got to get rid of this walking handbag. He's a menace!
I thought you never met a mutt you didn't like.
He ain't no mutt. He's an alligator.
An alligator who can talk!
Cookie
Yeah. How'd you learn to do that, anyway?
RRover
Oh, you know, from other dogs, much like yourselves.
RRover
Not me. Oh, I'm a vegetarian.
I don't care if you're a Presbyterian. You're not a pet like us.
PPepper
It's all I ever wanted -- to do good, get the bad guys. Now I guess I'll have to settle for being some old lady's purse dog.
Cookie
What?! I can't believe you're gonna let some uppity, establishment dog tell you what you can and cannot do.
PPepper
Sarge is the K9 commander. He must know what he's talking about.
That guy? He doesn't know his haunches from his hind quarters.
Cookie
How does such a little dog know so much?
KKiki
It's easy, just like I can tell that you and Lucky are more than just friends.
Cookie
W-what?
Yeah. W-what? Uh, obviously, young Kiki here isn't always right. Hey, I know. Let's find her a human.
ODOlder Dog
(gruff) You, there! Ducky, is it?
ODOlder Dog
(cutting Lucky off) Listen up, Ducky! This is Dash Whippet speaking!
(Starstruck, excited) Dash Whippet?! THE Dash Whippet?!
DWDash Whippet
I said I was, didn't I?!
Cookie
Hey, Lucky, who's on the phone!
(almost bursting from happiness) It's Dash Whippet!!
Cookie
(laughs, excited) The Dash Whippet?!
DWDash Whippet
(Getting tired of their starry-eyed stares) How many one and only Dash Whippet's do you think there are?!?!
No, it's not. It'll work. You three just act like dogs. As long as you're on leashes, we should be okay. Niblet, Cookie, don't forget - we're senior humans out for a walk.
Cookie
[Elderly voice] You got it, sonny.
People years, Niblet, not dog years.
Pound Puppies · 152 quotes
