Father Ray Mukada quotes from Oz

Wait, Father, maybe I'm a convert.

Mukada

You can't become a Catholic just to get out of the hole. Come on.

No, no, wait. I've been reading a lot since I got here about different faiths and yours is pretty nifty.

Mukada

Catholicism is nifty?

You have that whole mystical transabstentiation bit going.

Mukada

That's right. The Eucharist becomes the body of Christ.

So you're actually eating his flesh and drinking his blood.

Mukada

That's right.

Now how can I not get behind a religion like that?

Alvarez

Father, where was God when my son died?

Mukada

Same place He was when His own son died.

Ray Mukada

If you love women so much, why do you kill them?

Because when you love someone, they own you, they possess you. I will not be possessed.

Ray Mukada

I'm here to give you absolution for your sins. Do you wish to be absolved?

Fuck, yes!

You're afraid of losing Kirk to Christ.

Ray Mukada

He already has Christ.

That is not Christ. That is show biz on a stick.

Ray Mukada

Show biz? You, of all people, you have turned faith into a cartoon.

Be careful, Father. Anger, envy. Those are two of the seven deadly sins.

Timmy Kirk

I want to become a Roman Catholic again.

Father Ray Mukada

No.

Timmy Kirk

What? You can't refuse me!

Father Ray Mukada

I sure as hell can.

Ray Mukada

I just got a call from the Vicar general. Because Kirk is dead, Monsignor Slon has convinced the police to drop the investigation against me.

Sister Peter Marie

You're back.

Ray Mukada

Yes. My prayers have been answered. Pete...I prayed for Kirk to die.

Okay, Cyril, time for another fabulous ECT treatment.

Cyril O'Reily

What's ECT?

Jesus, why is it every time, I got to tell you what ECT means?

Ray Mukada

That's because electroshock causes memory loss.

Oh.