James Robson quotes from Oz

James Robson

Oh, great. More Em City prags. You fucks have a hissy fit, now the rest of us gotta sleep on top of each other. Hear me boys, hear me good. This is my cell, this is my bunk. You got a problem with that?

Robson

Yo! Sorry about what happened to Leroy Tidd, or Ooga booga, or whatever the fuck you called him.

Robson

[in the hospital] That spade motherfuckin', that cock motherfuck, motherfuckin' NIGGER!

James Robson

Carl Jenkins is dead. You got no case against me. I want out of here, Glynn. I want out of here. Glynn, I want out! I want a fucking lawyer! Get me fucking Said, that's the lawyer I need! You motherfucker, get me out of here! [starts barking loudly]

James Robson

Beecher hasn't been out of his cell for two solid days. He just lies in his bunk sobbing like a wuss.

Good. That's what's truly elegant about this plan of mine. We don't physically touch Beecher, and yet the damage done is far more hideous.

Look, I said I'd protect you from Keller. I'll protect you. Okay?

Okay.

Now buzz off.

Jesus, I thought the Jews were supposed to be tough.

James Robson

That's just the Israelis.

Hmm. Kill him. I'm going to take that shot again.

I'm just sick of all this horseshit. I want to concentrate on the birth of my first grandchild. You know, I just want a little taste of happiness.

James Robson

Vern, you're starting to scare me.

James Robson

Yeah, your kid was involved in all kinds of shit. Drug deals and pimping. So there's any number of people who might want him dead.

This is you consoling me?

Ryan O'Reily

Hey, what's up, half-dick?

James Robson

Fuckin' Mick! Fuck hey! Hey, fuck!

Hey! Get in there!

Ryan O'Reily

Here you go, Alvarez.

Miguel Alvarez

Stupid fuck.

Ryan O'Reily

Hey, Smith.

Yeah?

Ryan O'Reily

Jenkins don't look so hot, man.

What do you mean? Oh! [Jenkins is hanging in his cell]

Ryan O'Reily

Guess he won't be eating his chicken nuggets.

Ah, sh...

Robson

You fucking nigger!

Said

NIGGER! You wanna see the nigger in me!

Clayton Hughes

Robson, you are one ugly motherfucker.

James Robson

I don't see you modelling in Milan, you black bitch.

Miguel Alvarez

Hey, shut the fuck up, I'm trying to masturbate.

Hey. What can I do for you?

Came to pick up the pool table.

James Robson

Yeah, is it fixed yet?

Yeah. The ball return was a little hinkey, but I unhinkied it.

Hey. You have the toaster done?

Hold your Calvins, Bochi boy. I'm in the middle of something.

Yeah well, I got lunch coming so these jokers can wait.

We don't wait for Wops.

Someone's going to teach you manners, Vernon.

Yeah well, It ain't going to be you prag.

James Robson

Oh hey! Look out!

Fuck off! Let me up!

You know...

Let me up!

I always wondered, [dips hand into black grease] was Adebisi's dick bigger then mine?

No! Fuck you! fuck! No!

You be the judge.

No!

James Robson

Mail call.

Omar White

Yo um, you got Minister Said's mail in there?

James Robson

You know Omar, I discovered that the Minister and I have something in common.

Omar White

Yeah Okay.

James Robson

We both support slavery. For me, slavery don't exist anymore. Which is a damn shame. But according to this book in the library, for those Muslims slavery is alive and well in Africa. That's right. I figured Said must have known that too since he went and got himself one. You.

White

The fuck you jabbing about man? I need to...I ain't nobody's mother fucking slave and shit man.

James Robson

You tote that barge. You lift that bail. Yous his house nigger.

Omar White

You mother fucker!

Kareem Said

Omar. Come here.

Omar White

Yo look, I know I ain't supposed to fight and shit but ...Don't no motherfucking body talk to me like that!

Kareem Said

Come here now!

Omar White

Fuck. I am a fucking nigger. Fuck.

Not much of a meal there.

James Robson

Yeah, nothing cold or crunchy.

Why, are you on a diet?

James Robson

Because it hurts, dipshit, do I look fat to you? Goddamn it! Suddenly ice cream, croutons, it's like getting your gums raked. What the fuck is that?

They're probably recessive. My old man had bad gums.

When's the last time you got a cleaning?

James Robson

I don't know, five or six years ago. I hate the fucking dentist.

Don't fuck around with you mouth. My old man didn't deal, his mouth ended up a train wreck.

If I was you, I'd see Dr. Faraj. You don't want to be slurping turkey milk shakes in middle age.

James Robson

Faraj? I don't want some sand niggers paws probing in my mouth.

They wear gloves now, you know, since AIDS came along.

James Robson

Oh.

Jesus, how long has it really been?

James Robson

Just soup.

Sure you don't want no chitlins and gravy to go with that?

James Robson

What?

Ryan O'Reily

Shall we? [cafeteria staff bang utensils loudly] Everyone, listen up. Robson here went to the dentist and got himself a nice pair of dirty ghetto gums.

James Robson

Thanks Vern.

I didn't say a fucking word. [To Poet, who is laughing] Shut up, you goddamn nigger, just give him some soup!

[to Robson] Whoa, You going to take that, G, man calling your brother a nigger and all? [Robson intimidates Poet] Hey, don't get stupid. Don't want me to Sammy Sosa that jaw with this here spoon.

Keep it moving, girls.