[calling from Paris] Is the agency intact?
I cut it up into small bitsy pieces and sold it to the three-letter boys.
S4 E23Trojan Horse
[Ducky is ascertaining how the victim died]
Maybe he died of embarrassment when he couldn't pay the cab fare.
[Gibbs is walking towards the crime scene]
Hey! I win the pool!
Wait a minute. How did you figure that?
I predicted Gibbs would last four days as Director before reverting to working a case.
[...]
So, uh, Director, does that mean you're...
I'm heading the investigation. [Ducky walks past them] Hey, Duck! You win the pool.
Yes! Thank you Jethro! [McGee stares at him]
And I didn't do anything wrong, McGee.
JKJoe Kelly
I can go?
[walks in] You can go to the head or our conference room.
KKelly
[points to Tony] He said I could leave!
Well, what I say doesn't count when the Boss is here.
KKelly
Like me when the wife is around.
They're questioning the validity of my ballistics!
Scaletti's lawyers are desperate. They're desperate. They're like drowning men grasping...
...at thin polystyrene tubes?
S4 E24Angel Of Death
Is the agency still intact after a week with Gibbs in charge?
CCynthia
Mmm... we survived.
[chuckles] Did Gibbs?
CCynthia
Barely.
What were you doing for 21 hours, Jenny?
What we used to do, ever so well.
When you lie, your right eye twitches. It always has.
You lost your protection detail in Paris. You went missing for 21 hours, where were you?
You sound like a jealous husband.
How would you know?
Unless you're a spy.
Why're you looking at me?!
I'm trying to lighten the atmosphere with a little humor.
[speaking to her computers and devices] Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! Okay, I know you guys have been working really hard lately, and I promised that you could have the weekend off, but this sounds like an emergency, so I need everybody to get those electrons flowing! If anybody is not up to it, I need to know now, not when the Director arrives. Something's wrong. [walks up to her stereo and turns up music, then heads back to her computer and breathes in deeply] Ready.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's NCIS pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.